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Catalog (/psy/)

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R: 1 / I: 1
>Some people are extremely good at reading body language,
It's funny to compare the skills that I and my siblings were taught as kids, compared to the skills my friends' parents taught them. My friends would get really good at things like woodworking, or fishing, or playing the guitar, or cooking, or fixing cars - skills their parents had, and were eager to share with their kids.

My parents (now retired) were both cops.

There were basically three skillsets that they taught to their kids: nonverbal/nonphysical intimidation, reading other people, and preventing other people from reading oneself. Imagine the end result of the evolutionary process of a house of two sharp cop parents and three sharp kids, refining all those skills over 20+ years under the same roof.
R: 5 / I: 0

Smoking weed + Paranoia aka "the darkies"

Does anyone here smoke weed and then get intrusive thoughts/unneasy feelings?

Sometimes (more often than not) I smoke and I just get overcome with this sense of dread, like something bad is about to happen, or something bad already happened, or so-so is mad at me. Just soykaf like that.
I have to manually tell myself that I'm just freaking out, otherwise I get into a rut. If I catch it early on, I'm usually ok, but if it goes too long I begin to dwell and it ruins the night.

I was a stoner in high school, and I was able to smoke for years with no issue. Then I hit my early 20's and it started getting bad.
Whenever my friends pull it out, they still offer, but 99% of the time I say "no" just cause I don't want to have a panic attack or something around them.
I smoke alone once in a blue moon (sort of helps), and I've tried CBD weed which helps a lot (but I don't get high).

This is why I drink.

But I just want to fucking smoke again, Alice.
R: 5 / I: 1
I feel like people are reading my thoughts and are purposefully tormenting me. Is this called being a targeted individual? I don't have people come to try and kill me, but i really feel like my patience is being tested. Am I ill? Is there a hive mind that anyone can tune into like a radio?
R: 60 / I: 9

Strange beliefs/delusions you have or had?

Exactly what the title says. Feel free to elaborate on what they might signify as well. I view weird beliefs/delusions similarly to dreams. They are affected by current stress levels, past experiences, and various other things, so we can see into our subconscious and deeper selves by examining what we believe in. Some of these analyses may be a bit reaching, but as long as I can gain some insight into who I am, what does it matter? I'll start.

> In middle school, I believed that all my friends hated me and wanted me dead, and the only way to win them back was to befriend one of the popular girls in my friend group. (aka cliche teenage drama)

I had only one true friend in elementary school, and we did not go to the same school. Middle school was the time when I had finally obtained some friends. Perhaps I still felt walled off from others but never noticed until the anxiety surrounding my social life forced me to act out.

> I don't exist

> I am a figment of someone else's imagination
> The world is a simulation
> other forms of solipsism/reverse-solipsism
Not sure where this came from, but maybe the belief that everyone hated me actually lead to me thinking I was actually gone. Or perhaps the feeling of isolation from the above belief had me alienated from everyone else.

> Some mirrors are "safe mirrors," and some are "unsafe mirrors." For example, the mirror in my room is "safe" and I can look into it safely. However, the mirrors in public bathrooms are "unsafe"; if I look into one, there is a chance something will come out of my reflection's eyes and kill me.

Could be an extension of the nonexistence belief. If my mind tells me that I do not exist, then simply the act of doubting my existence proves that I exist. I have to make these paradoxical realities "fit," and so my subconscious concludes that, while I exist at the moment, I should not exist. Somewhere along the line, my subconscious decides that my existence is self-destructive. (This is because I do not believe that everyone else is out to get me. Exactly why I went down that route, I don't know.) Mirrors represent some kind of identity or self-awareness, so my reflection is out to kill me. Exactly where the "safe" mirrors and "unsafe" mirrors come from, I don't know, but they likely come from the fact that I look at the mirror in my bedroom every day and I had not died, so my brain simply was drawing a pattern from some experience.

I apologize if some of these are confusing stream-of-consciousness-like soykaf. I did reread and edit some things to make my analyses more coherent, if that helps.
R: 6 / I: 0

lain's dream diary

each post shares a dream (or two :) )

2017 April

I wound up in a ship under heavy rains and in stormy seas. An impossibly strong humanoid monster had killed several members of the crew and injured a few that we managed to bring to the safety of the ship's bridge (modeled like Hapsburg throne room without a throne). I was treating two crew members that the monster injured for a concussion. The monster managed to fuse them at the shoulders, creating an extra-wide twinned-human. The newly formed twinned-human was lost in an ecstasy of mutual love between heads. We then called the monster to slay it. It went immediately for the newly twinned-human, and so I charged it. Right before I made contact with the monster, several compressed file designations (.zip, .7z, .tar.xz, .rar, etc) appeared around it, layered over a bunch of hex. The dream ended abruptly.

2017 May

I woke up in sitting on a porch high above an Italian-esque plaza. I looked down at a single figure, slowly jogging up the center of the plaza. The figure started to flap its arms, slowly at first, then faster and faster until it came off the ground. It then stopped flapping and adopted a stance reminiscent of a yoga locust pose (like super man but with the arms placed behind the back and fists placed at the base of the spine). I got so excited I went inside in hope that I could tell someone what I'd seen. One of my old friends told me, "I didn't bring you here just to freak out and disturb the party." I then woke up in a bed in the middle of water, felt the fear of drowning, and then woke up again.
R: 3 / I: 1

how to operate your brain

A while ago I found this research paper here titled "How to operate your brain", but I can't find it anymore. Does anyone still have it?
R: 18 / I: 1
Why is people rude?
R: 15 / I: 0

Alice and Tulpamancy

I see tulpamancy mentioned semi-regularly so I have to ask, Is Alice a tulpamancer? If so what's you're story? If not, I am, I started three years ago and have two tulpas and regularly let them possess my body, AMA.
R: 15 / I: 3
Hey lain,

Does anyone have any info on microdosing with magic truffles? I'm especially looking for dosing and frequency info for fresh magic truffles.
R: 2 / I: 0

Altered States Of Consciousness

Hi. I just wanted to spark a discussion. If anyone has the psychological field as background, would you mind answering me in something. Could we map the altered states of consciousness in clusters and interconnected functions that are supported by physiological evidence through brain scans etc. A similar way of how we analyse normative states of consciousness through bio-cognitive theories. In the picture i have attached, i was talking to a friend about it and I kinda explained to them my thought bubble. What i want you to do is to offer your opinion and to mention to me if you had experiences of Possession, and how important it is for you to have agency (to be in charge of your own actions). That is all.
R: 2 / I: 0

Toxoplasmosis Gondii

Have we finally found it Lainons?? Is this what has been hurting us?
R: 2 / I: 1
hello arisu,
usually, it takes me a couple hours to fall asleep because i have an issue where i count from one to sixty repeatedly and compulsively. last night, when i went to bed, i laid down my head and forgot where i was. My body was overcome with this sense of dread and the more i tried to remember was the more information about my setting i lost. i forgot who i was, where i was, why i was there, and who my roommates were. i had to get up and look around the room a couple times to calm down. when i went back to bed, it happened again. maybe i was on the verge of a dream, but i envisioned a sidewalk in a crowd of people; i was there, lost in a sea of people. when i reopened my eyes i still thought i was at the sidewalk, but for some reason everything looked like my bedroom. My heart started racing and it felt as if i would die if i couldn't remember where i was. i heard my roommate's voice and that reminded me of what was real. i then slept soundly.
R: 5 / I: 0

psychdelics and humans

hey arisu,

what are your opinions on doing psychdelics with other people? Are you in favor or nay? And how much do the other person(s) affect your experience? Would you you do psychdelics with a complete stranger? As someone who's tripped with people and alone before, I've come to the conclusion that tripping with other humans makes you more acutely aware of the sense of complete aloneness that you is human existence.
R: 3 / I: 0

Help Me.

I am stuck. Fading in and out of the self.
Conciousness is weird and to be concious of the concious and of your over self concious behaivors is scary.

Who am i?

I am scared…
Do i have schizophrenia?
Is there really another self?
Why do i dissasociate and feel so lost in all things.

Who and what is other self
Why does it tell me to kill myself
What does it what
What do i want

I dont have a family
I dont feel real

Please help me understand this arisu.

I wanted to grow up and have a family.
I dont think i can.
R: 74 / I: 10

A goddess wants me to make a new religion

Has anyone ever heard god asking you to do stuff?

I mean, the answer is obviously yes, that's how religions are born, I just didn't want to start this post with "I can't take this anymore please help me"

First things first: I'm not schizophrenic. I'm 100% sure I'm not mentally sane, but it isn't schizophrenia. I don't hear or see things. If I did, I would be able to convince myself that it's schizophrenia and I wouldn't be having any of the doubts I currently have. My problem is that since I don't actually hear anything or see anything physical, like schizophrenic people do, I have no idea if it's actually true or I'm just making stuff up.

So let's start by describing what I "hear" and "see".

A goddess, which I've named Emi but I'm really not sure that's her name, "talks" to me inside my mind and tells me to do stuff. Again, it isn't like hearing a voice, it's more like if someone was thinking inside of my mind. Sometimes I have a hard time telling which are my thoughts and which are hers. If all of this is true, she was very clever to not speak to me directly, because if I could listen to a voice telling me to do stuff I would just assume I'm schizo.

She wants me to take the stories she shows me and spread them, she basically wants me to start a religion.

So let's describe how these things happen. Maybe I'll be sitting around, doing my stuff, playing videogames w/e and then suddenly I have a memory, like when you suddenly remember where you left your keys this morning, but it's something related to her and it feels so real, like I really was there, but I KNOW it's not real, it just feels real. Or maybe I'll be preparing to go to sleep and suddenly a thought crosses my mind "you should start writing" and I know it's her telling me to write a literal bible.

I started having the most basic version of these when I was around 13, I'm 18 now.
Back then, it was a lot different, all of it. I've always been a creative child, I drew stories when I was younger and I don't remember a single moment in my life I haven't been thinking of other worlds, even before the first of these events occurred. When I was 13 it was the first time a story felt real, like I wasn't making it up but instead was remembering it. It was all downhill from there.

The fact that I can't tell my own thoughts from the goddess' is also making everything much harder than it needs be. My current process for kind of trying to find out what things happened and how is just putting things together and see what makes sense and feels logical, it's like a jigsaw puzzle. I refer to the stuff that I can verify that way as canon. Especially in the early days, back when I was 13 to around 15, my own thoughts got in the way a lot which makes sense in a way, since I wasn't used at all to it. I know this because the amount of stuff that I've had to ditch from back then is huge. Then again this could all be fake and that's just me getting better at writing, which is something I've always liked. Even now my thoughts sometimes get mixed in, so there;s few things consistent enough that I can be sure about them, the reason I doubt her name is Emi is that back when I was 13 there was an artist which I became obsessed with called Emi. Other influences from Emi have popped up too but until I can prove them wrong I wouldn't feel comfortable taking them out of the canon.

I am writing and posting this in hopes that anyone can help me. I haven't gone with any doctors because of course they are going to say I'm delusional and give me pills. I have been on medications before and I wish to never have to swallow a pill again in my life, especially after having tried to kill myself a few years ago by taking a bunch of them. I don't remember a lot about it now, but I do remember even before that I never liked taking pills and tried to not take them whenever possible. Do you think this is real? Do you think I'm just insane? I can at least promise I'm not making any of this up, so it has to be either of those. I get the feeling I stopped making any sense a while ago, so I do apologize if that;s the case. I just needed to get this out. Please help me
R: 12 / I: 0
hello arisu,
i took LSD for the first time yesterday and it was a wonderful experience for the most part except a couple things, most notably among them i kept thinking of suicide. i felt as if my psyche desperately wanted to leave my body behind, as if it was trapped in there as a prisoner. every thought i had ultimately ended in me wanting to commit suicide, and everyone on the planet to do it with me too. i even remember thinking of a scenario where everyone committed global suicide and how wonderful it would be. has anyone else experienced this?
R: 14 / I: 2
I can’t move forward in life, I just can’t take a single step towards improving my situation. I have a job and a car and just barely make it every month, but that’s it.

I made new year’s resolutions that were really easy, call a doctor to see what’s wrong with me, apply online to some jobs, call down to the local university to register for courses. But I haven’t done any of them, when I get off work I just want to veg out and lay in bed on my phone for the nine hours or so that I have before I have to go to sleep and repeat.

Is this normal? Do most people do the exact same thing I’m doing? Should I be getting on anti anxiety meds?
R: 1 / I: 0

special k

hi arisu,
where to buy (s-)ketamine on darknet right now?
I wanna pay with monero and it should ship to germany.
R: 9 / I: 1


seemed to be popular on /zzz/, so let's bring it back.

I try to meditate at least once a week, it used to be once daily but I've fallen behind. There's a really nice spot at my campus: an old amphitheater that was closed for renovation after a kid nearly died there. It's a really calming place, I can usually spend 20-40 minutes there if it's nice out.
R: 3 / I: 0
where to buy AL-LAD in germany?
which darknet market has it?
R: 5 / I: 0

Combining antidepressants

So I'm currently on paroxetine for my major depressive disorder and while it works it only does barely, is like the windows XP of antidepressants but considering that in my case sertraline was like windows ME I say its an improvement.

So I been thinking on ways to boost it with another, heard that peterson guy is or has used 2 antidepressants at once and it works for him. Frankly I thought if I did two SSRIs I would get serotonin syndrome and die but then again I'm no doctor.

So has anyone here done this? what was your combination? side-effects? and most importantly: did it work?
R: 12 / I: 7

/psygeo/ - Psychogeography General

What is Psychogeography?
Psychogeography is an approach to geography that emphasizes playfulness and "drifting" around urban environments. It has links to the Situationist International. Psychogeography was defined in 1955 by Guy Debord as "the study of the precise laws and specific effects of the geographical environment, consciously organized or not, on the emotions and behavior of individuals."

Another definition is "a whole toy box full of playful, inventive strategies for exploring cities… just about anything that takes pedestrians off their predictable paths and jolts them into a new awareness of the urban landscape."


Psychogeography and Urbex share a common ancestry, although the latter is generally divorced from the more esoteric foundations of Psychogeography.

Reading/Watching Material


The London Perambulator

Will Self: Obsessed with Walking

Will Self's Kafka Journey: A Prague Walking Tour

Will Self at Google

Will Self: Isolation, Solitude, Loneliness and the Composition of Long-Form Fiction

From Hill To Sea - Dispatches from the Fife Psychogeographical Collective


The Great Conjunction: The Symbols of a College, the Death of a King and the Maze on the Hill

Psychogeoraphy: A way to delve into the soul of a city

Scarp by Nick Papadimitriou

Edgelands: Journey into England's True Wilderness by Michael Symmons Roberts and Paul Farley

Psychogeography by Will Self

Psychogeography by Merlin Coverley
Mind Invaders: A Reader in Psychic Warfare, Cultural Sabotage and Semiotic Terrorism by Stewart Home:
R: 13 / I: 4
He who finds himself unable to do things and learns how to find peace in non-doing is worshiped as achieving some superior state of being. My version of enlightenment is keep doing, keep creating, keep getting surprised, push all possible boundaries, forever.
R: 46 / I: 7

Chaos Magick General

Chaos Magick General

What is chaos magick?

It's hard to define chaos magick, but for me it's a methodology of studying and modifying subjectives phenomenas of the mind, altering states of consciousness, etc.

Although there are a few techniques unique to chaos magic (such as some forms of sigil magic), chaos magic is often highly individualistic and borrows liberally from other belief systems, due to chaos magic having a central tenet that belief is a tool. Some common sources of inspiration include such diverse areas as science fiction, scientific theories, traditional ceremonial magic, neoshamanism, eastern philosophy, world religions, and individual experimentation. Despite tremendous individual variation, chaos magicians (sometimes called "chaotes") often work with chaotic and humorous paradigms, such as the worship of Hundun from Taoism or Eris from Discordianism and it is common for chaotes to believe in whatever god suits their current paradigm and discard it when necessary. Chaotes can be agnostic or atheist and sometimes regard magical practice as merely psychological, not paranormal. Some chaos magicians also use psychedelic drugs in practices such as chemognosticism.
R: 18 / I: 1

darknet markets

Where are the kids buying drugs these days, Alice?

I originally used Silk Road and then for a while I was using Agora, but after it fell I just kind of checked out. Have the new markets matured at all?

I don't know who to trust.
R: 5 / I: 0
What's a good drug that calms you down but isn't as addictive as say Lean or something.
Weed makes me paranoid, and I got a few mental issues, but that's why I want to start getting in to drugs.
I get so angry at times that I beat my self up until I get massive bruises & such, I mess up every friendship I make due to jealousy or anger problems..

Is there any good alternative to weed? (Alcohol is one, but that usually just makes me sad & depressed)
R: 6 / I: 3
I took a LSD yesterday, everything felt so real.
I feel different now, how i see the world and my perceptions.
Are we really living the reality?
R: 3 / I: 0

McDonalidazation of Pain

I recently came across the work of Bonnie Burstow.
Nowadays the world at large, employ a trauma frame to understand people’s troubles. What is good about psychiatry when you consider that the majority of times psychiatry itself further traumatizes people. Psychatry is in a way the McDonalidazation of Pain.
R: 6 / I: 1


I have really bad thanatophobia or death anxiety it keeps me up at night and I have panic attacks all throughout the day fearing that I could die it's not like a normal fear of death it's basically an obsession at this point I can't stop thinking about the fact that I could die soon. Anyone else experienced this?
R: 4 / I: 0

Trusting therapist

Have you ever consulted a psychotherapist, Alice?
If so, what information about yourself have you entrusted them?

If you were involved in various hacking activities, would you tell them?
R: 8 / I: 0

Intuition studies

What is intuition? Where can I read on it? How can I train intuition?

Tangentially I'd like to ask the same questions on memory.
R: 1 / I: 0

Occasional Hallucinations

Occasionally (especially when I've been looking at my computer long enough) I get faint hallucinations of Lain. Typically from the neckline up (although sometimes her shoulders and chest are visible as well) and usually fleeting, but it moreso has me wondering if I've finally managed to accrue some kind of serious psychological (hopefully not neurological) damage. Any idea what's happening?
R: 38 / I: 3

/RDT/: recent drugs thread

Have you tried any new drugs lately? Last Thursday I took a smaller dose of Xanax, and boy let me tell you it taught me something. I didn't realize how anxious I was until I took some.

I also got more wasted than ever this weekend. Not exactly new, but it was kind of a new experience.
R: 21 / I: 4

Psychological warefare

So back in the hayday of 8chan there was this board called /32/ that was devoted to the research of psychopolitics and psychological warfare. One thing the board was always lacking in is research into its technique and application. Is there anyone else here that has thought about this beyond just identifying it? How hard would it be to subvert people?

Just food for thought.
R: 7 / I: 2


Hey lains. Any cigar smokers here?

I've been smoking cigars for a while now, and found it to be a fantastic way to bond with people, I've even made friends I wouldn't have had I not been smoking cigars, which has helped a lot since I am generally really bad at being social.

I just love the overall experience of smoke cigars, being all cozy, getting to taste things with my cigars, how calming it is, and just bonding with people over them.

Right now I have some Havana Honey's, some onyx reserves, and some higher end maker's marks resting in my humidor.

I've been doing cross cuts with my knife for a while now, but just moved to a double guillotine cutter. I found it's much easier to get it going, and if you don't slow down you burn through the cigar way faster. Though, I only have tried this cut once so far, and I had to race because my smoking buddies at the time were sharing a much cheaper cigar that didn't last long at all.

What are you lains smoking? What do you like most about smoking? What kind of cuts are you doing? What do you drink with your cigars? What else are you experimenting with?
R: 12 / I: 3


What do they symbolize? How are they used in pictures or movies? Do they invoke a certain kind of feeling in you? Tell me whatever you've picked up about them in terms of metaphorical usage. I've stumbled across depictions of them in some places (wired & tube) and it appeared to me kind of weird, so I hope that you could give me at least a vague idea what they're about. To make it clear: This isn't about the creature itself, this thread is about how the giraffe is used as a symbol, maybe to trigger certain emotions.
R: 5 / I: 0


Right as I fall asleep, something odd happens. Just before i succumb to the depths of sleep, my brain sort of sends a shock to my entire body, sort of refusing to fall asleep.
Sometimes it gets weirder,
I've had these times where I actually fell asleep but not entirely, my brain was still in touch with reality somehow, something in me knew that I was bound to wake up very soon. During these times I often have short spanned dreams with a tragic ending, such as falling from a tall place or getting hurt in other serious ways, sometimes involving other human beings. The thing that tripped me out the most in this scenario is how time goes on - even though these "shocks" are short lived, sometimes I wake up feeling those shocks after sleeping for several hours, when my "hidden consciousness" sort of was sure that little time had been spent.

Just out of curiosity, has alice ever felt something like that?
Or anything else, really. Talk to me, alice
R: 4 / I: 2


Any of you guys ever feel like your mind is split? Not into like two personalities or choices,but as if you think differently at such times as if you have different knowledge.
I've felt this since I was a kid, where my mind would be divided into two or sometimes even three parts and each compartmentalized information from the other,each capable and of its own thoughts which would've been identical to the others if they had the same information to go off of,made me struggle a lot as a kid any questions that were thrown to me were deciphered in 2 parts and then combined,sometimes helped me but mostly I would get the answer wrong. It doesn't happen as often now,I might even have a bit of control over it,I sometimes use it to think about two things at the same time,but it's usually tiring. I think I can use this to my profit but not many people ik experience this.
If anyone here has had something similar happen to them then I'd love to know your thoughts.
R: 9 / I: 0


I have struggled with this my whole life more or less. I did not know that others did this or that it had a name until very recently. I confided that I was suffering from this to a friend online and they said that they knew a few other women that had the same issue. Has anyone else struggled with this? It is getting really severe and I am too ashamed to talk about it to anyone in real life, but it is making it very painful to type on the computer so I know I really need help.
R: 3 / I: 0

Somniphobia (fear of sleep)

Where to even begin? I feel weirdly alone in my trauma. Since my whole mess of PTSD started I have even more trouble sleeping than I did before. That's coming from a chronic insomniac. Sometimes, I am so afraid of sleeping. So I stay awake worried I will either have a nightmare where I have to relive some demented version of my past memories in dreams. I hope I'm not alone in this or someone has something even a little similar.
R: 7 / I: 1

Bad Trips

I'm not sure if you have this problem Alice, but lately My Waifu has been having so real bad fucking trips. Last week she had just gotten back from her job. Her boss had been fucking hammering her to meet a unrealistic deadline and she need to calm down. She took some Alprazolam and once she got past that initial soykaf taste she sat down in my living room and ordered some takeout. Everything was chill until she began to feel it. She couldn't seem to remember anything and had an extreme tightness in her chest. She was worried because she had taken quite a bit more then normal (*8mg compared to her normal 4) so she decided to talk to her girlfriend. (Open relationship I swear) She was texting her about how nervous she was getting and then she heard banging on her front door. She had already forgotten she'd ordered take out so in her panic she hid in her bathroom. She was cooped up in there all night. She'd left her phone downstairs and was too freaked out to go down and check. This has happened to her a couple times in the last couple weeks and wanted to ask Arisuchan for any advice on how to prevent it. So any advice for her Alice?
R: 5 / I: 0

In your own personal reality, you basically can be anything

So I believe that there’s two realities at best, one is the true reality which no one is able to comprehend. And the other being our personal reality, and this can contort however we want it, either consciously and subconsciously, ex like being in denial or delusions. But we can’t twist facts obviously so we have to be in denial or live in a bubble to twist and turn our personal reality, so we can basically be what we want.
R: 15 / I: 0
How do you get drugs, anon?

I've only ever tried cigarettes, but I want to try marijuana and LSD.

I don't have any dealers or people who would know dealers.
R: 15 / I: 4


How often do you daydream and what do you daydream about? I daydream on a constant basis when I'm in class and i usual daydream about kung fu fighting people, or flying or being a protagonist in a story. It's fun to get lost in your own thoughts.
R: 5 / I: 0

Christian Cyberpunk Chat?

This is a long shot but I figured this would be a good place to ask. Does anyone remember an IRC community about cyberpunk Christianity? The room name was like cyberchristian or cyberchrist and I believe it was either on freenode or rizon. If anyone out there can point me in the direction of these people please let me know. I miss their excellent commentary.

Praise the lord.
R: 14 / I: 1

Sleep deprivation

How long have you gone without sleep? Mine was only 24 hours and it wasn't that bad. I just felt really energetic before passing out. When are you supposed to start hallucinating and is it worth it?
R: 2 / I: 0

being someone else in dreams

I've read that others here sometimes experience dreams in the third person so I know I'm not alone in that, but with this I'm not so sure: on occasion I will be someone else in my dreams. Sometimes I will just be a generic person of different ages, genders, and races, but other times I find myself in the mind/body of a known public figure. For example I was once dreaming as President George W. Bush, a very humanizing and interesting experience considering I am a liberal female in real life. I'm sure there are others I have been as well, but none immediately come to mind. I wonder if anyone else experiences this anomaly.
R: 10 / I: 1

Dream Death

I've died quite a lot in my dreams. Sometimes I die, my consciousness and physical feeling fading away with me, and other times I just see my body lying someplace.

While most people wake up right before death, I often wake up after my dream-death. I'm not afraid of dying, and I think a lot of it's thanks to having "experience" with it….?

What is Alice's experience with dream-death?
R: 1 / I: 0
Having achieved a place somewhere, and gathered your people into a haven. How do you keep that place. How do you add more people. What are the streets and why are people so quiet?Communications systems built to let wanted new minds be discovered. What is your crowd, where and how do you want to be noticed?

I'm still in the street looking at the fishermen looking for life. I don't call them. I'm content here. But I don't know what's beyond.
R: 31 / I: 5

what if we are in a simulation?

Even the bank of America thinks that there is a good chance we are living in a simulation so my question to lain is. What do you think well be the consequences if we find out that we really are in a simulation?
Would anything really matter? Do you think that people would change the way they live? I mean even if we look at life now. We are just a blip in the vast space and time we live in, but the more you zoom in and the closer you look the more things start to matter to individuals yes there lives mean nothing to you but to that parent spending time with there kids or stressing about work life there actions mean the universe to them.
R: 6 / I: 2

i saw god... i think

pic related is what i saw
the white arrows indicate motion, the slightly darker lines were rotating.
the two circles of black expanded with the intense light inside them expanding alongside.
i was not in REM sleep during this process, the time was 4:17am on the 30th Nov when i woke.
during the "dream" there was an intense sound of grinding bass, constant note, like played from a synth.
the light orbs kept expanding, i couldn't move a muscle and it felt like my heart stopped or i didn't have a body…
it was as if pure light was being poured into my eyes, and the darker outer ring around the light was darkness melting away
it looked sharper and more real than anything I've ever seen
my mind was totally clear, i knew for a fact that i was about to see something divine, i was terrified and ashamed
i kept thinking i wasn't ready and i don't deserve to see or i wasn't the one to be shown, something of the sort
it felt like god, like he was revealing himself or something else to me, but my fear wouldn't let it come
i woke but it was more like being released from a hold, the same sort of feeling abductees report when they are stuck in 'stasis' or something.

i hope you found this interesting and I'd be happy to hear any similar experiences or anything you can teach me about this sort of thing

tl;dr - had a visit from god and it felt realer than being alive
R: 13 / I: 4

Do you dream in 1st or 3rd person?

I dream in both and sometimes it changes, I had a dream where it was in 3rd person and i was seeing a bat getting shot at by wizards and then it landed on a building that was on fire. The bat transformed into an edgy anime character and i suddenly switched to first person as that character. Describe how you dream and tell your stories
R: 0 / I: 0
Get high…
Get above yourself
Look down upon yourself
Until you're inside of yourself
Look to the front or the back of yourself

To the back or front of yourself
It's inside yourself
And then you see your own head
And know yourself is yourself

'Cause when you find yourself
You're gonna find that yourself is only yourself
And the self that can only be yourself
So when you're infront of the back of yourself
You're gonna find that your mind is in the center of yourself
And God is nothing but yourself

And when you reach for yourself
You'll know that yourself
Is the only thing
That can happen to yourself
So that nothing can put you down
R: 14 / I: 4


my fav dream was when i turned into a hawk and flew over the ocean most trippy experiance :) all 1st person

ive only had 1 dream with smell it was gross imagine a bigger version of fredburger from grim adventures of billy and mandy and he smells like putrid vomit u.u first ever smell in a dream and no i didnt vomit in rl noor was i around vomit.
as far as touch i can sense it but its never severe like painfully
ive had dreams where i hold my breath and float ushually in 3rd person

ive had 2 dreams tht i knew i was dreaming 1st i was young watched the office thy said eat pickles with penutbutter and tell yourself over and over agin tht you will lucid dream well eating the picklypenutbutter
it worked i turned myself into a superhero flew around 3rd person but after awhile my supervillian kiked my ass flew into a dumpster and felt tht i lost control over my dream. like i knew i was still dreaming i just didnt have full choice in what would happen.
2nd lucid dream i was walking in the woods 1st person when i looked down at my body i was naked soo i instantly thought wtf wheres my cloths then it hit me im dreaming so i decided to fly was amazing trees just wized by me.
its crzy cuse now i never float by holding my breath i can just fly. my hawk dream was after my flying naked dream and is the only dream tht ive changed shape ive been thinking more on how i dont wanna be myself in dreams and have a avatar i think about tht i hope to change into. i kinda did recently in one dream but still didnt feel perfect but i did cause some cool exploshions like dbz attacks in tht dream.
i think this game i been plying called secondlife helps me alter my dreams also i use to use a crystal wand tht id put intent into before going to sleep then put it under my pillow.
i have reacuring places a school a city and a forest where its like a volenteer camp/nature hippie campus place.
i also have a big fear of car doors when dreaming like the doors gonna swing open on the highway and ill die.
ive had dreams where i have to drive cars yet i never owned a car so im allways like wtf i cant drive but i hve to in my dream for some reason so i do and im scared the whole time.
oh just remeberd ive had a dream i think before my flying one where i levitated maybe a foot or less of the ground in front of some ppl and everyone was shocked like some magician blane soykaf xD
ive had one dream tht i was on a bus and ppl where floating outside the bus with the door open but just stood there like some glitched out game as the bus moved.
my first ever nightmare was of a action figure i had as a kid was spawn with like more than 10heads. it enterd my dream chased me thro a house and i hid in a bathroom.
also if i think of my dreams right when i awake i can fully recall them. so i have a good dream memory :) ima keep working twords shape shifting into my avatar i want and work tword being more aware tht i am dreaming. im going to bed soon so im shure ill dream. also i have lots of sex dreams and dreams tht i meet new ppl but assume its someone i allready knw. ive even had dreams tht the events in my dreams have happend in rl after my dream and it gives me a nausiace feeling like intense dajavu and makes me think i allready knw this lifes outcomes u.u which arnt good.
R: 16 / I: 4

Taste in dreams

Last night I had a dream that ate tainted food and it caused me to be sick. The taste of the food I was eating was so tangy like vinegar and had an awful texture. The sick clogged my throat and tasted just like sick. These feelings continued after I awoke.

The line between dream and reality is blurring.
R: 0 / I: 0
There are two worlds: the world of Impression, and the world of Conception.

The world of Impression is George Berkeley's world, a world made of the impressions of our senses, of Kant's phenomena. It is ever-changing, complex past the point of human prediction, and subjective (although it can seem to take on an objective quality when multiple people see the same thing). It can act beyond logic sometimes, and branch off into dream-worlds and psychedelic dimensions, although the conditions for these events are more-or-less predictable (i. e. one falls asleep, drops acid or has a psychotic episode).

The world of Conception is not quite like Kant's noumenal world, or Plato's world of Forms. It is the world of thought beyond sensation, and of reason, but unlike the noumenal world it is not a place full of "things-in-themselves", and unlike the world of Forms it is not a place of objectivity or perfection. It, like the world of Impression, is subjective, but people can conceive of things in this world that match up with other people's conceptions, and then it seems pretty objective. It is the psychological landscape in which numbers and abstract thoughts are as real as lumps of wax, and where things are not merely "as they seem" but actually "as you think of them".

Everyone carries around these two worlds in their heads, and uses one to corroborate truths found in the other. As long as the illusion of objectivity in both worlds is maintained (that is, as long as we imagine that everyone can see the same things we see and think the same things we think), it's business as usual. It's when people's impressions don't match up that we get confusion: did she dream the whole incident? Was that a trick of the light? Is this eyewitness account reliable? It's when people's conceptions don't match up that we get disagreement: are we talking about the same person? How are you defining that term? Do you share my values?

There is something found in the world of Conception that one might be surprised to find, especially in the mind of a materialist or physicalist thinker: spirits. Here is a definition of the word "spirit", chosen specifically for its proximity to animist conceptions of living rocks and trees, or to the ideas of ghosts, angels, demons or gods, but not identical to the way your average spiritual person would define "spirit". Imagine that you perceive a dog. In the world of Impression, the dog is visibly wagging her tail and panting. The brown coat is evident, as is the long snout and large, draping ears. In the world of Conception, however, the dog is something more. Not only do you see the dog, but you associate her with her name and whatever memories you have of her. You might assign your best guess as to why she wags or pants, and imagine her little mind making decisions. You may even put words in her mouth, to better conceive of what she's thinking. Hume showed that causality and induction could be called into doubt; in the world of Impression, sure, but not in the world of Conception, where there is the clearest of necessary connections between every treat you dangle and every jump she makes. In the world of Impression, it's easy enough to reduce the dog to a machine with parts that acts in predictable ways; in the world of Conception, this is simply not the way you perceive the dog. Because impression and conception are both psychological events, can we really say which one is "more real"? On what grounds? Instead, we should say that they are two realms of being, with different standards of truth.

The world of Impression is indivisible. Staring for long enough at a well-camouflaged person in tall-grass prairie or thick underbrush, it becomes obvious that it's hard to pick out separate things by eye alone without sufficient visual clues. In order to differentiate dog from doghouse, we must put our impressions under the microscope, where they become conceptions. There, things are together or apart entirely based on how we think of them. As such, we can speak of the spirit of a dog, but likewise the spirit of a doghair, and likewise still the spirit of a pack of dogs, or a dog's skin cell, or a town, or a molecule, or a universe, or an atom. Spinoza may as well have been right, because the spirit of the universe may as well be called God. Can it not be said that Thor is merely the name thunder adopts when it resides in the Conception of a Norse, or that when it instead lands in the Conception of a Greek, it calls itself Zeus? When a person dies, their family may yet conceive of that person in their minds; is this what the afterlife means? Is this where ghosts reside? If a murderer conceives of their victim in a dream, is this not a vengeful ghost who haunts?
R: 5 / I: 1

Smokeless Tobacco General

Do you dip, Alice? Use smokeless tobacco? Got a lip full of dip while reading this? Got an ex who dipped, and now you're disgusted by the practice? (Hey, me too, for a little while!) Tried it once in high school, got really sick, and never did it again? (Hint: You're supposed to spit!) Got a favorite brand/blend you want to share? Whatever your experiences with dipping tobacco are, or just smokeless tobacco in general, this is the thread to share them.

I started with Skoal long-cut Apple (in fact, I've only ever used long-cut dips) after I had to ask an ex of mine to refrain from smoking around me for a little while while I was recovering from a cold and asthma issues. They responded by switching to dipping tobacco (I had no clue what it even was at the time), and offered me some. The first lip of dip I ever packed, I nearly kicked a friend of mine in the head out of pure joy. I mean, I was literally jumping around and soykaf. The headrush was intense, unlike anything I'd ever felt.

A note to any beginners looking to try it out: Don't start with Grizzly or Copenhagen. Start out with something like Skoal, as it has less nicotine and you'll need to work your way up. And, if you don't know how to use dipping tobacco altogether, look it up on WikiHow. Get something long-cut.

And, yeah, smokeless tobacco general. I don't have much experience with any smokeless tobacco products outside of dip, myself.
R: 10 / I: 0

What's the most schway nootropic stack?

Old/new mixes, best chems?
R: 1 / I: 0
Tried dabs a few days ago for the first time; it felt way closer to a lowkey lsd trip than smoking bud. I would definitely go as far as to describe the experience as a trip, not as getting high. Is this normal / what I can expect from dabs?
R: 3 / I: 0
So, I just passed out from what is presumably vertigo, fell out of my chair and whacked the back of my head so hard on the floor that my eyes are pounding in their sockets. Since this is the board for altered states of consciousness, what does Alice have to say about treating severe headaches that make it hard to even think straight? Really don't want to go to sleep right now, but is there any other way to shake this?
R: 8 / I: 2

addiction general

when do you guys start thinking addiction is a problem? for me it's when i get the urge to use more than once a week. I tend to be more lenient when I know the addiction isn't going to fuck me over e.g. cigarettes, but I'm super paranoid about getting addicted to coke or opiates.

Anyway, addiction general, share your experiences relating to addiction.
R: 16 / I: 0

Information addiction

When I go for more than about half an hour without significant and productive mental effort or non-mundane information intake my emotions start fluctuating and I crave mental stimulation. As I learn more and more its increasingly difficult to find information that I can get rapidly enough to satisfy this. I have tried getting my fix through focusing my thought on high speed maths and logic problems, but this is like the synthetic knock off sold in Chinese back alley off licenses that has been watered down to squeeze more money out of the sorry fucks who can't get their hands on the real thing.

As the night goes on I start to get serious anxiety. My actions get violent and sporadic, I start doing myself physical damage to stimulate myself and keep myself focused on reality. At this point I no longer have the focus to even seek out information, all I can do is flail, gesticulate, and slur. I've taken to locking myself in my room when I start feeling deprived, because it makes me want to be in the open air, but I know if I'm in public in this state I'm going to do some serious damage to myself and others.

Does anyone else have experience with this or something similar? Do you have advice? Stories? Lament? Maybe you just want to offer your camaraderie plz ;–; ? Any even vaguely relevant replies are welcome.
R: 8 / I: 3

epistemology/metaphysics general

discuss reality, truth, existence, knowledge, perception. I'll start:

The only thing Berkeley got wrong was the existence of God.
R: 7 / I: 0

Psychiatric Medication

Does lain have mental illness? Does lain take psychiatric medication for it? I take bupropion 300mg (antidepressant), lamotrigine 300mg (anticonvulsant [for mood stabilization]), and quetiapine 50mg (antipsychotic) as off-label treatment for borderline personality disorder. I've tried many different combinations of medication over the years, but I've never been as stable as I am now. Medication may not be the only answer, but if you are still suffering, please don't give up. There may be something that helps.

Please note that this topic is for discussion of psychiatric medication, not attitudes towards psychiatry in general. Please take your anti-psychiatry conspiracy theory somewhere else.
R: 2 / I: 0

Reality Checks

Does Alice perform reality checks? I used to check by flipping light switches and turning on faucets (they never work in my dreams), but had to stop because it was causing severe problems in my life. I would discover I was dreaming way, way more often than I expected and would sometimes become trapped in lucid, but uncontrollable dreams. For example I once found myself in the bathroom, but couldn't leave because the doorknob wouldn't work and I couldn't wake up either. So I just sat on the floor, cried, and waited for what seemed like hours to wake up. Also I'm not sure if this was related to reality checking, but I was having so many false awakenings at the time that I would just cease getting out of bed even in reality. At this point I stopped having any interest in lucid dreaming whatsoever and wanted to return to having normal dreams. Sometimes I'm still kind of scared of flipping light switches or turning on faucets.
R: 2 / I: 0
Does anyone here have any diagnosed sleep disorders? How have they affected your life? What medications (if any) are you taking for them and are they worth the side effects? What do you wish more people knew about your disorder? Or do you just want to vent about it for a bit?

I ask because I was diagnosed with Type-1 narcolepsy several years ago. This is the type you see in TV and movies. My immune system is attacking the sleep center of my own brain. Any sudden change of emotion, such as shock, unexpectedly laughing, or stress, makes my arms and legs go limp and often gives me an erection as the blood vessels loosen. So I'm basically locked, awake, in a coma for 30 seconds. I'm also incredibly tired all the time without medication. No amount of sleep, coffee or excitement will help. It fucking sucks.

Fortunately my meds really help out and let me live a mostly-normal life. I take what is essentially legal GHB to reset my REM-to-nREM sleep cycles, as without it I spend about 80% of my sleep in REM (dreaming sleep). It's about 30% of sleep in healthy people. This is the primary diagnostic sign of narcolepsy. I also take generic ritalin during the day to keep my energy up.

I just wish people IRL understood what I'm going through without me having to explain outright. No boss, I didn't fall asleep on the job because I was partying all night. I got 14 hours of sleep and still hallucinated right after waking up. No, you don't understand how it feels because you "pulled an all-nighter once in college". Get two hours of sleep a night for a month and then come back to me. No, I don't want to go out drinking, because if I mix alcohol with my meds I will probably die and it's not worth skipping them to be a literal zombie tomorrow who can't even remember what street he lives on.
R: 2 / I: 0

Dreams and Reality

Right now I am awake. To me it feels like "This right here is real. My dreams are not real.". When I'm dreaming, it feels to me to be the complete opposite. It is obvious that whichever state I'm in biases how I think about both states, and in addition, I have no solid and reliable empirical data or logical assumption or argument to confirm one way or the other.
What's the difference between dreams and reality, Lain? Does it matter? If there is none, doesn't that shake up our beliefs about how things are?
R: 6 / I: 0
the only dreams i can remember are ones where i die
R: 9 / I: 3

Stream of Consciousness

I enjoyed reading these threads on .org so why not contribute to .jp
10 min just stream of words. You can edit spelling/punctuation in post.

Listening to music. I think the only thing I can be good at is killing. I am joining the military. I don't know what I will do after. I just need to get out of this life. I don't know what I will do after maybe join one of the assassination networks using my military experience. It is not like the movies. They don't show what it looks like and I am scared guys. Always scared. I am sound mind though. Not just "sound mind" I don't know. I am not lonely but I am alone. I am thankful for a thread like this. Big league killer. I wanted to be a fireman when I was little. I don't know what changed. I have always been a person of extremes, Lawful good chaotic evil. That is corny soykaf. I don't take myself seriously and neither should you. But this is what I want to do. I hope I fail. I made a post before on .org.

I received some good advice but I will not join the kurds or any other group like that. If you are going to fight why not the best? Kek. Back up plans all over A-Z. I am so scared in the life I live though. I wake up with my sights on my bedroom door. Only thing I have is my cactus plant. I have you guys. Cyberpunk war now. Cyberpunk war now. Fuck you all. I'm so scared. I am no coward though. Someone has to do it. I have no political no other religious. Fucking jihad cunts. I am thankful I am able to type this and talk to someone. I may die in the military which is all the same. I just want to know how good of a killer I really am working with the big dogs. I am going to monitor the thread and I am gone. I will be back after I am done. I hope it is all OK. All love lain.
R: 0 / I: 0
My Atmos Vicod is on its way out. What are the best vaporizers available right now in /psy/'s opinion?
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Lucid dreams

Post stories about lucid dreaming, last time i lucid dream't i dream t i was in high school and one of my friends told me that i was dreaming and i told him cool, Then i kung fu fought people
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Dream Memories Affecting Reality

Spending a large amount of time in alternate realities(chans, chatrooms, media, etc.), or in your head, means that contact time in the open world is quite small.
When I sleep, I keep the memories of the dreams I have, and I feel are they filling in the spot that reality should be doing. I remember them as something that happened in real life, and most of them do take place in my own life. When I am awake and see something that evokes a dream memory, I have to force myself to distinguish between dream memory and real memory. It gets blurry. I believe that I have done something already or I own something that in reality I don't, like those memories have been injected there. It's like I'm living a parallel life in the dream world, and in all honesty, it's frightening.
Is this a replacement by my own mind for missing stimuli?
Does this happen to anyone else?
R: 3 / I: 0


Lains, let's discuss the wonderful drug that is marijuana.

Some questions to get the thread started:
What's your favorite way of consuming marijuana?
Know any neat tricks/techniques to achieve maximum efficiency, etc?
Ever done any DIY rigs?
How often do you consume it?
How old were you when you tried it for the first time?
What's your favorite activity to do when high?
What's your favorite strain(s)?
How hard is it to get in your area?
Any wacky adventures you've gone on?
Favorite combinations with weed and other drgz?
R: 8 / I: 0

Computer Addiction

When one has mental illness it is sometimes difficult to have insight into your own disordered mind and behavior, but I still occasionally have a fleeting moment where I wonder to myself how I must look to an outside observer. I literally spend almost every waking moment of my life in front of the computer. My three monitors cover so much of my visual field that—combined with my headphones and blackout curtains—my subjective experience is almost completely artificial now. I think that this environment is at least somewhat responsible for my struggles with depersonalization and derealization. It's easy to feel that you and your world aren't real when everything you experience is already virtual. Despite these problems I cannot get off of the computer even to migrate to a different screen like a phone or television let alone do something not involving electronics or further still actually go outside. I know this needs to change, but I don't know how. Please help.
R: 1 / I: 0
Apparently "expired" drugs are still good:

So Lains, What's the oldest stuff you've taken?

Even if it's some old weed you found in a baggie you long forgot, did it still work? For me, I only know that painkillers that I've had for years are still pretty potent when I need them.
R: 5 / I: 0
I haven't had a single dream in months, perhaps even a year. How can I fix this?
R: 5 / I: 0

precognitive dreams

lain, i need some help. I want to know if anyone has had anything like this happen to them.
predictions through dreams, more formally known as precognitive dreams. To see or predict a future outcome. Ill go ahead and start off by saying I am no psychic, or at least i don't call myself one. This all started a while ago, not the dream but the situation.
(gonna green text it since it's not that important)
>summer night
>cant sleep so i pull up weeb-tube and look for a show my friend told me about
>anime is about this dude wanting to hook up with creepy/cute chick
>dude has crazy dream at night about gril
>gril does said things that happened in his dreams
>"wait a min….."
At that time i had just remembered about some stupid drama from way back when, and how i predicted every single thing that happened through a crazy dream. Now onto the main subject.
>school night, i'm currently fast asleep
in my dream i was in school. Dead silence, just the soft ambiance of the rain outside. (for the sake of privacy everyone's name will be replaced with an evangelion character's name) The grimy tiled hallway clashed with the black surrounding, the walls looked like dripping shadows and the ceiling was a sickly pale white. out of nowhere, my childhood friend shinji grabs my hand. without a word he walks me to down the hallway, besides the pallet switch of the school, nothing was out of the ordinary. There we're no crazy infinite halls like in mario 64, or demons condensing into the walls. Just your average public school (as scary as that already is).
So shinji is walking me down the school halls, until we make a stop in front of the principles office. I peek in and my heart jumps, inside i see rei talking to someone who's behind a desk. I've had a crush on rei since junior high, i felt so bad and worried for her. I wanted to punch right through the glass to go comfort her. I was interrupted by shinji tugging at my hand signaling for me to follow him.
> shinji: lain, i'm taking you to @#$&^!&^'s room
>me: who?
I barely had time to ask another question before i saw her walking on the other side of the hall to us. Ah fuck its
asuka*. She's always trying to get in my pants, not even my type 3/10. She gets closer and i try to hide my face under my arm. It doesn't work because i can still see her, and she can still see me.
as a matter of fact
her brown curly hair tumbled down her head as she looks at me with this violent look of disappointment and grief, I feel so guilty. Its almost like it's MY fault she's sad. my body hair stands as still as sewing pins as we pass her, i avoid eye contact. her eyes DUG into my soul like a razor sharp icicle until she passed.
that was a relief. Shinji held my hand as he drops me off in front of a class room and leaves without saying a word.
I step toward the door and crack it open slightly. As soon as i opened it i see people i knew from school, but i focused on one person in particular, Mr. Ikari. I didnt know why at the time but i felt pissed at him. Then POOF i die, or at least that's what it felt like. I didn't exist. I was omnipresent. I couldnt describe it besides orgasmic and stress free. I had no body, only a soul. I felt so happy, i'd kill to feel that nirvana like state again. Then as soon as it started, i saw visions of snakes. Kinda like watching national geographic or a youtube video, i'm just witnessing nature. The first snake was completely yellow with black areas, kinda like the gadsden snake.
He was trying to reach water from a small branch, slowly lowering himself to the lake surface. Then i saw a vision of a boa constrictor snaking around a thick tree branch, it looked so fluid and elegant. Like a ballerina dancing. What felt like an hour i saw visions of various snakes in different areas.
then i woke up
exactly at 3 AM
sweat parading all the way down my back, my pillow more moist and wet than if i left it out in the rain.
i went back to sleep, but not before noting every single person, place, emotion, and snake in a journal.
>skip entire school year
>shinji sexually harasses a girl
>i get rei's number
>rei gets her number traced by Mr. Ikari (i forgot to mention that he's a total creeper) and is concerned
>asuka moves, gets pregnant, and has a miscarriage
>Mr ikari looses his marbles
>he manipulated all our friends
>Got kicked out of school for punching a kid across a room
>hacks paypalls
>leaked inappropriate pics of my friend (she's not mentioned) which is basically a felony (she was underage at the time)
>and threatened me with battery.
so /psy/ that's pretty much my story
feel free to ask questions, i'd really like to hear about similar situations though. I surely cant be the only one to experience this, right?
R: 9 / I: 1
Anyone else listen to ambient noise when they sleep?

My Favorite to sleep to is
It knocks me out flat.

I also have a habit of "imagine when before sleep". Like pretending I am hiding aboard a ship, street side etc.

Anyone else do that?
R: 1 / I: 0

Information as Drug.

Can you get addicted to information?

Sometimes i get a sort of Very feel good rush from consuming large amounts of visual and audio information at once, is this a sort of "high" of sorts?
It makes we want to get more information to get this "High" again because it is a very wonderful kind of feeling.

Have you similar experiences of this Infornography?
R: 2 / I: 0
My dreams have always been super lucid, and I've been able to control most of them
They usually take place in my ideal safe space, a void with a lone Coffee shop floating, inside are all of my friends and the basement, a rabbit hole where you can go to forget all the bad things, have some tea and chill
It's really comfy in there, like a warm blanket
If you decide to leave the coffee shop, you are left suspended in the void, only surrounded by the physical form of your most favorite music
Physical and visible sound waves I guess
R: 9 / I: 0
>have slightly odd dream
>forget about it
>years/months/weeks later
>Deja Vu? how can this happen? this is completely unfamiliar…
>remember dream
>how did I dream into the future?
Does this happen to anybody else?
R: 6 / I: 0
I got some serious melancholic depression, tried escitalopram, sertraline (zoloft) and nothing

Been 6 months with vortioxetine which is supposed to be this brand new AD drug that even has positive cognitive effects and instead of getting back some of my concentration and other faculties which depression eroded but instead its making me even more depressed, dumb, slow and sleep a lot this last one really ironic since my shrink actually was afraid this pill was going to make me sleep less/be too alert but it had the opposite effect

So I'm at the end of the line, my life sucks but my crippling depression got so bad I can even muster the effort to do something about it and pills clearly don't do anything

Any ideas?
R: 2 / I: 0


Anybody here have any experience using/making Jenkem? I love the hallucinogenic effects – both the visuals and, sometimes, the auditory – and the convenience in not having to actually digest anything (instead just being able to inhale the fumes to get high). Plus the tools needed to make it are super easy to use and available to mostly everyone.

And, on a related note, has anybody here fermented their own Jenkem yet? Been thinking about doing it myself, but haven't had the time lately.
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I had a dream I was begging my girlfriend to tell me what went wrong between us, and in the middle of her ignoring me her face disappeared .
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-- Reality --

Do you sometimes have a dream so real, that you start to question your own reality. How do i know if i'm in a dream or not? I swear sometimes i get that feeling. Maybe i should find out the easy way.
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how do -you- dream?

I used to think that dreams are a mostly uniform experience; but during the mediocre time I spend lurking dream-related forums and boards, I've found that people seem focused on different aspects. Some of them mostly remember a story or narrative, while for others it's just successive experiences loosely connected by an object or two. I rarely feel touch, taste or smell, it's usually just a sense of being there and visuals - perhaps in sync with my daily life. There is also a 'dogma' in most dreams that I never question; it usually tells me the identity of certain people and events that I wouldn't recognize, almost like a script for a movie. Coherence optional.

Lucid dreaming seems to be a common theme, and everyone seems to strive for it and love it. I don't remember having one myself, and I'm highly doubtful about it. It certainly exists and many experience them, but it could be just a regular dream with a 'tag' or 'flag' saying that you were free, in control, making choices and aware - just like the dogma can appoint a person to be your mom without her resembling your real mom in any way.

The point however where I really became curious about how others dream was talking to a person born with aphantasia. He cannot imagine visual or recall visual memories at all; he also thinks with an inner voice(). He said that every and all of his dreams are basically floating around in a black void, feeling uncomfortable or tense. There is absolutely no visuals, and he doesn't have sense having a body either; rarely he hears some indistinguishable sound, and time doesn't seem to move/things do not change. He just remains in that uncomfortable state until he eventually wakes up. Hearing this from him really made me wonder if dream really is a similar experience for most, or if only the descriptions of the experience match, while dreaming itself is wildly different from person to person.

It would be nice to hear some descriptions of how lainon's dreams work, and perhaps the various kinds you have!

) Not exactly related, but some people seem to think by speaking out loud, or using an inner voice in the same manner - this is commonly seen in movies. I however always thought that it's just an artistic way to show what people think and that in reality, everyone thinks silently, without words. How do you?
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Consciousness in dreams

We encounter other people (projections) in our dreams almost every night, but never for even a moment do we stop to consider if they were actually conscious. We immediately dismiss everything we experienced as being "just a dream," but what is to say that you couldn't just as easily wake up from the dream in which you're reading this equally ready to dismiss the consciousness of everyone you've ever known or loved here? Please bear in mind I am not a solipsist (at least I'm not trying to be), but I've never understood how the divergence of attitudes towards others' consciousness is completely consistent either.
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I had a wonderful dream about travelling through alternate timelines.

It was a pre-planned journey and I was with a group of people. I had my bag packed, with all sorts of papers which were supposed to prove something to someone in the past, and a large synthesizer keyboard in its own separate case. When we made the jump, my papers were gone but I still had the keyboard.

Things appeared the same, there were no anomalies to be seen. Yet, everyone else's memories seemed to be different. The people I was travelling with initially expressed having had a similar experience to mine, losing objects, keeping their memory, though as the dream went on and I went through several more timelines, they faded out of the picture and I was left by myself. There were (many) other people in the dream who came and went: strangers and acquaintances, friend and family alike all seemingly oblivious to anything out of the ordinary happening, as if I was always in the right place in the right time even though as I perceived it, time was shifting around.

At one point I was a guest at a wedding, seated at a long, rectangular table with a white tablecloth and a buffet prepared and laid out along with a standard place setting for each guest: folded napkins, plates, cutlery, water goblets. The table took up most of the similarly shaped, rather claustrophobic room for such an occasion. Facing bright a white wall with beaming sunlight coming out of too-small windows, an ornate fireplace with pictures and a few vases of flowers, my back (along with all the other guests') was turned to the (presumably) more open area (i.e. large doors leading to a hallway) of whatever building this was in.

Whoever was getting married, the most important person was the father of the bride. A tall, bald muscular Turkish man whose entrance commanded absolute attention and brought solemnity and quiet over the room. We all took hands for a prayer or something.

And then time shifted again and now I was helping to cater this wedding. Only I didn't know the menu and I kept getting in the way. And everyone was mad at me for acting like all of a sudden I just forgot where I was and what I was doing. After all, in their view I was there all along.

It's really kinda hard to remember and describe dreams in words especially when, in this case, the majority of the plot as it were is comprised of feelings and perception. Describing architecture and places and how they feel to be in and their meaning is especially difficult to communicate.

And as I went on remembering it I realize most of the dream is just regrets about lost friendships, ambitions, hopes…

…and the sci-fi element of alternate realities/timelines/universes is just from popular media…

However it's very rare that I have such a dream so I wanted to try to remember it.

One last thing: In a way it's like at any given moment there appear to be an infinite number of possibilities but for whatever reason everything is constrained to a single outcome. And when I'm with someone, in some place, at some time, doing something, I can't ever just enjoy it. Because I know that moment won't last. The only way to preserve it is to try to remember it as best as I can, as it's happening. And whomever I'm with doesn't seem to understand. That this will be lost. That there is so much potential right here, right now but that it's already gone. That it's futile to fight against. That my life is not my own.

I mean I just don't understand how everyone can seemingly be fine with the unstoppable progression of time and the immutable consequences of decisions (or indecision) and complete and utter lack of control or even predictability of virtually everything. What's the point of searching for a moment to experience when it will disappear just as fast?
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When something is bothering me I'll start having nightly dreams about hypotheticals. They are always a negative outcome though. Why is this? It really really makes my day soykafty when I wake up.
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trouble waking up

I'm having a lot of trouble remembering my dreams lately. I keep a dream journal, but I haven't been able to update it because when I'm asleep, it's like everything is more important than waking up. This has caused severe difficulty in all my affairs, from going to class, working, and going to therapy. Anyone else have this problem?