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Help me fix this shit.

Kalyx ######

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This is a meetup thread, post you're city and see if there is any interest to meetup.
So let start:
I'm interested in meeting up with any Alice in Berlin, so just let me know if you're interested.
I hope we can make this happen :]
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I moved there recently, d-do you know a good place to check out?


Federal way (near Seattle) Washington


Right, yeah. The news has been saying some of the same things. That's unfortunate. What about women? I don't know how it sounds to ask about the women, but for what it's worth, I am ethnically Hungarian, if that matters any


and I'd like to date a Hungarian woman


Kinda late , I know. Barrio Antiguo is decent for bars/ sightseeing

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Why do you stay up late?

For myself, i don't know honestly. It isn't good for me, i know that for sure. I've been doing all-nighters here and there for quite awhile. Most of them i just spend my worthless time surfing the web. I don't think it's worth it anymore. I'm comfortable with the fact that I'm alone late at night, but sometimes that comfortability goes away. I feel the social demons sinking in late at night..and it gives some sort of comfort in a way, i guess. I should really stop staying up late looking for something that's not even there for me.
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Because there is less noise and motion around at night.

What is it you are looking for?



At night, most people are sleeping so i feel more at ease. Also there is way less light, sunlight makes me uncomfortable most of the time. The (outer-city) streets are almost empty, i can avoid all interaction except with the cashier at the nonstop shop. Doing things at daytime feels like it's some kind of job. Doing things at night is more fun, also i'm much more philosophical and artistic at night.


I used to stay up very late, often well through dawn, sleeping during the day. I won't go into details, but I was given extreme shocks and corrected this as fast as I could, sleeping pills nightly. I need drugs to sleep but I feel so much better. The daylight is empowering, sun-up to sun-down, don't miss a minute.


I've been working graveyard doing it soykaf for a hospital for almost a decade so I only feel comfortable at night. The world slows down and a calm hush falls over everything… and if you want to find a little trouble you always can. Night is awesome because it's at the same time the most peaceful and seediest time to live. I don't think I could ever go back to a normal schedule at this point.


I have no idea what the heck my problem is actually. I can never seem to get anything done during the day I just feel sluggish and blow things off. Even if I take caffeine or other similar drugs I often just end up tired. I don't really get it. But right now I just had a huge burst of energy at 4am and configured an entire server and website I had been meaning to work on for several weeks. I don't know where this sudden burst of energy came from but I wish I could feel this way all the time.

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Anyone here wants to make new friends? Feels lonely or feels that they're missing something? I think it could be fun making friends here! There are lots of interesting people here! To start just try to write a bit about yourself and what kind of friend you want. Don't forget to include a way to contact you. You can use the following template:

>Favorite anime

>Favorite vidya
>Favorite music
>Favorite books
>Favorite TV series
>Fetishes (optional)
>Hobbies and interests
>What kind of friendship you'd like or have you looked for but never found
>Anything else you'd like to share or you think it's relevant to say
>Contact (Mail, Discord, Steam, Tox, XMPP)
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>Favorite anime
SEL, Gunslinger girl, ARIA, Ghost Hound
>Favorite vidya
Deus Ex, nethack (don't play much nowadays, wasted a lot of time on FIFA back then)
>Favorite music
I try to hear a bit of everything, current favs are The Knife and Burial I guess
>Favorite books
Unbearable lightness of being, hitchhiker guide to galaxy, some crime novels
>Favorite TV series
Last thing I saw was Black Mirror, haven't seen many. Longest I think were House or Malcolm in the middle
>Fetishes (optional)
Making to do lists and not following them through
>Hobbies and interests
Reading, wasting time on internet, trying to learn things, trying to self improve, music
>What kind of friendship you'd like or have you looked for but never found
Not sure, I guess one where both parties are motivated to maintain regular contact? where that fear of bothering the other person doesn't exist because you know he/she has some degree of interest too
>Anything else you'd like to share or you think it's relevant to say
TODO: Overcome the fear of bothering other people
>Contact (Mail, Discord, Steam, Tox, XMPP)


>Favorite anime
Lain and Evangelion
>Favorite vidya
Elder Scrolls series (primarily Morrowind), SS13, DOOM 2
>Favorite music
King Gizzard, Wavves, Parquet Courts, black midi, MGMT
>Favorite books
A lot of Asimov, such as the Foundation Trilogy and The Gods Themselves. I just finished Childhood's End by Arthur C Clarke, and I liked that.
>Favorite TV series
Westworld, Mr Robot
>Hobbies and interests
Programming, creative writing
>What kind of friendship you'd like or have you looked for but never found
One where me and my friend go on vacations.
>Anything else you'd like to share or you think it's relevant to say
>Contact (Mail, Discord, Steam, Tox, XMPP)


>favorite anime
high school dxd
>favorite vidya
D3 and Grim Dawn
>favorite music
Smashing Pumpkins and Metallica
The Last Wish by Andrezej Sapkowski
GNU/Linux, programming and anything tech related
>What kind of friendship you'd like or have you looked for but never found
I just want someone who i can have comfy talks with and confess if something is bothering me
Email :


What do they use?(if I may)


Also point me to that irc channel everybody is talking about. What is the network's name/address and channel's name. Thanks!


Hey, I discovered this forum yesterday and now I already feel like this is the right place to get some outsiders opinion about my relationship.

I've been in a relationship with a mentally unhealthy girl for a year now. I love her like hell but she thinks I don't. The real problem in our relationship is the lack of confidence she has towards me. I am lost. A day or two after we started dating I told her about this friend that had a kick on me a while ago. This girl in question is someone really important in my life and I don't think ending our friendship would be worth it. That being said, this friend causes a lot of trouble in my relationship. My girlfriend constantly sees love through her actions and she's convinced that my friend is better that herself. I think the worst problem in our relation is the fact that she constantly tries to make me feel like she feels. For example, one day my friend asked me for clothes because she needed some pants after spilling juice on hers. I gave her, and now my girlfriend a month after started complaining and said that she would send clothes to her ex living far away (She still talks to her ex claiming he is one of the friend she has). As I said, she is mentally unstable. She tried to kill herself a year and a half ago and she is diagnosed with multiple mental issues. I know I do mistakes and I know she does too. I am not there to make her look like she is guilty. I think I am in the position to make her feel better about life but small little things of everyday makes me think that I'm not the right one. I would like to hear your opinion about it. Thank you. If any other infos needed, I can provide them. As I said, I really love her and didn't plan for a second to mess with her.

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Reading this thread, I feel like every reply is dead wrong in their diagnosis except >>2944


Yeah, it's not like you're gonna take the wrong advice from a place like this and ruin your life with it. You're just gonna get a pile of rubbish from people projecting their own problems, basement bound hikkis, people who believe in memes like "social engineering", reciters of proverbial "truths", trolls etc… you're inevitably going to roll your eyes and realize you've wasted your time. Never in my life has anyone given me useful advice on a chan. Half the time it's not even on topic.


I've learned from a lifetime of ignoring sound advice and stubbornly trying to the contrary that you can't fix people. People fix themselves, or they stay damaged.

So do with that what you will. Hope things go better in the future regardless.


OP, i'm so sorry you're going through this. I ddo really suggest you don't take advice from here, go to someone you trust who understands the situation a bit more. Please be careful.


Yes, true. I can see some possible borderline traits there.

If this is the frame of the situation, you'll need to be very understandable with her. I know that's very easy to crucify the borderline (just dealing with the hypothesis), but I don't think this is the better way to act.

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Maybe what i am describing is a normal humane condition. However for some reason my psyche interprets this functioning as something that does not work right. Internally i live in an idealistic world, with beautiful aesthetics. Let's say my "inner" vision, the one my imagination and abstract thinking creates is always "paraphrasing" the world around it. It takes the saturation and changes it, it views the physical plain from different angles that satisfy my hunger for cinematographic aesthetics. It speaks fables to itself about true love and the most altruistic and humanistic ideals, filled with perfection (perfect for me at least) and poetic reasoning. In contrast the other world is filled with real-life objective (as objective as something can be) reasoning. Cold, calculating, dragged and slammed in the pavement. Every response is as rational as it can be. The aesthetics change they are monochromatic or blueish in a sense, it's the world i have to live most of my life in. The problem is no that the latter world exists, cause i feel that i would embrace such thinking. The problem is the dichotomy itself is so strong that i cannot pick a side to advocate, I have seen a lot of people being either in one of the two sides, expressing themselves through only ONE of these sides. But for me i switch from glasses to glasses. The inner one i can only express and merge it with the outer one only when i write (short stories or poems). However feeling that i always have to switch mindses and to keep some short of invisible balance within me, no being able to chose a side makes me feel alienated. Even by people that express the inner world of mine.
What to do you think? have you ever experienced it ?


have sex


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Is this legitimate advice or a joke? Cause peculiarly enough i can understand the logical background of either options. It can stand both as a joke and as a legitimate advice. >>2929


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Interesting. I think I've kinda experienced what your talking about, let me explain and you tell me if this sounds at all familiar.

It happens Especially after watching a movie I was highly imersoned in, like when I leave the movie theater, or when I finished reading a really good book. And I'll kind of get this tunnel vision. Every action I take and the each moment in my environment link together perfectly suddenly what's usually very mundane seems like part of a story.

As for the other more analytical state, I get that too, but the state I spend the most time in is the bored working menial job state. I have a boring job :(

I'd suggest you try to entertain both states,
As we become adults are minds tend to settle and pick a certain path but if you catch yourself early and make a active effort you can preserve the creatively that comes from a broader mindset.

A calm sea is a boring sea.


It's a 4chan meme, being used improperly in this case.


It makes sense, i have felt it too when it comes to reading a really good book or watching a brilliant film. My inner perception changes for a while and it paraphrases the world with that direction type in mind.

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I lost my best friend at 13 (not death), never had a friend like that before or since.

I keep having dreams where we're together, hanging out.

Are we drawing closer, invisibly? Or am I jsut going crazy?
5 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.


>>2912 >>2913
Thanks for answering, everyone. Hopefully this semester will be better in terms of sociability, let's see…


As a friendless adult, the stage when you're in school is crucial in making friends. You're there a lot of times with the same people every week so you ought to make the most of socializing there. When adulthood comes, it becomes a bit harder. Why?
I think it's because adults have a lot of responsibilities, and have already got their circle of friends figured out. Their friends' birthdays, marriages, kids all in their busy schedules not to mention work, loved ones' occasions too. Sure they're 'open' to having more friends but you're not in the priority list.

If you're friendless as an adult and want to make friends, all I can give as advice to you is to frequent places where you're comfortable. If you like to unwind by drinking, frequent smaller bars (but don't get fucking drunk obviously). If you like books, go to libraries, church, any social events you agree to. Find local people online and go to those meetups. Talk to people about trending news and soykaf (not political or controversial stuff). Frequenting bars worked for me for a while. Almost got a genuine friend out of the bartender before I fell into crippling depression and cut myself off from any social contact entirely.

As for approaching women, it's kind of the same thing, but a bit trickier. Personally, I always say on /r9k/ for similar questions that one should work on oneself first. If you think you could lose a little weight first, do it. If you think you need more self-confidence, work on it, etc. The reason I say this is because approaching women is, like I said, a little tricky. It's just like making friends with them, but you have to be prepared to be rejected and be fine with it.. and it will happen a lot. I say this from experience. I'm admittedly your average *chan goer, spilling spaghetti and being typically pathetic with women during my younger years, evaluated myself a lot (and still am), and recently got an attractive girl to rest her head on my shoulder (as practice).

After all that wall of text, I still don't think I'm an authority when it comes to friends, and I don't think anyone does too. I'm just offering you my genuine advice from anon to anon, where those steps have worked for me before some stuff happened.

Also >>2913. Being yourself is not just a mePost too long. Click here to view the full text.


Also btw… If you haven't already read that Carnegie book: How to Win Friends & Influence People. Read it over and over until you dream about his lessons.


I know how you feel, I haven't talked to my best friend of 3 years in 6 months and can't find them anywhere. I really fear the worst


People are more open than you think man. Before my first year in college i used to be much more introverted and isolated by everyone. However! as soon as i got to college i tried a little experiment. I started talking to people on my own "hey, do you have a lighter?" "thanks, hey which class you study?" i tried talking and finding out about their interests. People are more keen to answer when you make questions about themselves. I ended up being something like class president and honestly a lowkey popular person. I think that we are simply afraid cause we think that other people might feel immediately weirded out or that they are inherently shy. Just give it a go. I'm sure that they are more than willing to talk most of the time, and when you're done with that everything else is easy. Most people are NOT grumpy, or impolite when talked to. Even introverts. If you end up by any chance with a person being impolite or get cues that they don't wanna talk, just greet them peacefully and leave. No one got harmed. Wish you luck.

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For the longest time, I've been almost completely unwilling to do anything but lay around and feel either empty or sad all day. Nothing is fun, and though I still occasionally work on things because I feel like I have a moral obligation to, in truth I just wish someone would kill me in my sleep so I wouldn't have to deal with being alive anymore. Work just seems like an inherently bad thing to me, regardless of what I'm doing, and death is a preferable alternative to doing just about anything. But the weird thing is, there really isn't a good reason for me to feel this way; I have friends who care about me, I'm doing well in school, and I have all the free time I need to do whatever hobbies I want. So why in the world have I been feeling so depressed for the past several months, when in theory I have everything I could reasonably want? Have you ever felt this way? How did you manage to get out of it? Thanks in advance, Alice.
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Currently going through the same thing, being productive keeps the thoughts away.


"We are tenants of an existence which is a kind of exile, in a world which is a desert, that we’ve been thrown out into this world with no mission to accomplish, with no place assigned us, and no recognizable filiation — abandoned. That we are at the same time so little and already too much […] Wherever we go we carry within ourselves the desert that we’re the hermits in."


sounds like you mostly just consume content.

try creating and engaging more,
check out:


>I would be okay with hunting/gathering. I hear they only worked a couple hours a day and then chilled for the rest of the day, but I also like being in nature so it'd be two birds with one stone. Too bad it's impossible thanks to "civilization".
I think you have a rosy-eyed view of the hunter gatherer lifestyle, but you can certainly chose to live a simpler, more harmonious lifestyle if you really want.


You're describing a general malaise that everyone under the age of 50 is feeling everywhere in the industrialized world. Our lives are relatively easy and comfortable, but unsatisfying because of the attendant aimlessness. My advice is to spend more time with your friends - and make sure you're all unplugged during that time - more time in nature, and more time exercising or doing some kind of physical pursuit. That's what works for me.

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is it bad that i truly want to enter the wired? i feel this plane of our sick manmade world doesn't have anything for me. is there such thing as anything close to the wired? btw, don't tell me i missed the point of the series bc i didn't


>this plane of our sick manmade world doesn't have anything for me
>wanting to enter the wired, the very epitome of manmade world

I'm sorry, I'm afraid I dont understand your logic.


Thats good and all but, lets get the basics out of the way, have you already embraced transhumanism?


I don't know about anything close to the Wired, besides existing global telecommunications networks. Maybe you could look into Neuralink; it's upcoming and looks promising.

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Arisuchan, I lost the only person who has ever loved me. Everyone is telling me they'll come back, but there's always the possibility that they won't. What now?
1 post omitted. Click reply to view.


A bunch of stuff will happen and eventually you'll die.


This. You can't even love others if you don't love yourself first.


Do a barrel roll


This is one of those proverbial truths that isn't actually true. Love is something we learn from other people. For many of us, we start learning from our parents who love us unconditionally. An infant can't return that at first and just basks in it until it matures. Someone who feels unloved doesn't just wake up one day and decide to love themselves.

Like, what if you just don't love yourself? Are you supposed to repeat positive affirmations or some nonsense? I don't want advice because I'm not talking about my own life anyway. That feelgood fluff does nothing for people who are really struggling with this.


Loss is a normal part of life. The reason you are so upset by this is because the love that person brought to your life was significant to you, and not having it is difficult now.

All you can do now is accept that loss is a part of life, and attempt to mend that hole with other interesting and warm people that you can connect with.

Best of luck, Alice.

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I'm bored of my monotonous 9 to 5 and want to get a job in tech I only know a tiny bit of python so far and am generally pretty good with computers.

What can I study in the little bit of spare time i have to get a job in tech?

Please & thank you.


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Kind of in a similar situation myself. Not entirely lost but would be nice to get some advice about what to do next.


Personally, I'd suggest two main things.

>1 Put together a portfolio

Think about what you want to do and do try to do things that seem at least somewhat related. If you want to work with python then go write some handy python tools. For me its always nice to write things that feel at least like they're useful to me, but really you can do anything. It doesnt matter if you dont know much python right now, just learn by doing things and you'll get better with time.

It helps to break these into concrete projects that you can put up on a website or a github (or a blogpost), and refference on a CV.

>2 get contacts in a related field

I'm not sure there's a straightforward way to do this, but it seems a very useful step. Go to a hackspace in your town and meet people, or try to pull up any contacts you might have who know something about or are involved with computers. These can be online too in some cases. If you can demonstrate to enough people that you're reasonably compotent (and they know you're kinda looking for a job), its not too improbable that one will eventually come your way.

You can apply for jobs too, at the same time, but frankly it seems to me that for many things in this nature, contacts are a pretty good way, especially to get your foot in the door when you dont have much on your CV.


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Why no ask in /λ/ or /tech/? When you say working in "tech", do you mean tech support, system administration, programming or…?


>I'm bored of my monotonous 9 to 5 and want to get a job in tech
get ready for a monotonous 9 to 5 but with the added benefits that computers will no longer be fun

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