arisuchan    [ tech / cult / art ]   [ λ / Δ ]   [ psy ]   [ ru ]   [ random ]   [ meta ]   [ all ]    info / stickers     temporarily disabledtemporarily disabled

/feels/ - personal experiences

share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences.
Name
Email
Subject
Comment

formatting options
File
Password (For file deletion.)

Help me fix this shit. https://legacy.arisuchan.jp/q/res/2703.html#2703

Kalyx ######

File: 1493281592354.jpg (73.34 KB, 500x500, IMG_0082.JPG)

 No.65[Reply]

What do you do to motivate yourself? post things that your proud of accomplishing. I got accepted into college despite having a soykafe gpa but i'm sliding even more in my senior year of high school than ever before.

 No.70

Being promoted and given two seperate pay rises totalling 15k in less than 12 months made me feel pretty fucking good.

 No.539

>>65
Hey neat, me too. Didn't end up going because I don't have the money for it right now but I plan on going in a few years. Aviation is rad. For now though I wanna get into programming and learning more about computers. My hope some day is to be the guy that writes fighter jet software. Might be a tad difficult but hell I've got time.
After all that I think I wanna learn about robotics.

I guess I don't really motivate myself that much. I see something I want to do and get started on it. Money is the only issue, so for now it's slaving away until I can do what I want.


File: 1494800832593.jpg (67.69 KB, 1000x565, deadeyes.jpg)

 No.146[Reply]

I have this idea that when you die your perception of time changes so that you live out the last moment of your life for an eternity. I don't know why I thought this, or what it has to do with anything, but it seems very much like the most likely way for things to go. What does y'all think?
14 posts and 3 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.509

>>508
how would it possibly be anything like LSD?

listen when you die your brain just stops working your consciousness doesn't exist anymore because it's literally the way a bunch of ions move through a membrane and if you stop breathing for long enough they don't move anymore

 No.514

>>509
I meant the moments before death, not after it.

 No.515

>>146
After I read "the egg" by Andy Weir I had nightmares for 6 months.
Imagine living out the lives of trillions of microorganisms and insects or african children who died from malnutrition six months after they were born.

 No.517

It's all soykaf.

 No.537

File: 1503576700243.jpg (287.65 KB, 920x1305, p.txt.jpg)

>>515

Scary.


File: 1501736637920.png (84.23 KB, 500x281, lol.png)

 No.453[Reply]

I'm programmer and hacker (in the mit's definition way), have 3x years old and I have arrive a point where nothing have sense, when I live by inertia, whiout an objetive.

I consider myself rational, maybe to much, and year by year it seems to me that the human and the life itself are ephemeral. This affects my performance since my brain looks whitout motivation.

A lot of people thinks I have depression, but I do not fit in the pathology. I'ts likes as logical way where my actions and my existence has not sense and nothing cares me.

What next? What is the way to leave of this state?

Sorry my poor enlgish.
1 post omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.460

Explore that state and you'll eventually come out the other side. But don't just live in that state, actively explore it. Analyze which things make you feel which way and actually try to take your attitude towards life to its ultimate conclusion (become a shut-in, move countries, change jobs, whatever). Just don't stay still accepting it nor try to fight it. Embrace it and act accordingly. Let it shape your life.

I've been there and I can tell you you will come out the other side. I won't tell you what's on the other side because I would probably lessen your chances of making it.

Good luck.

 No.470

>>459

You are rigth, I don't want to leave a truth state. Only get a balance to recover my efficiency

The problem is when, "who I am", are totally incompatible with the environment.

>>460

Maybe I concentrated on fix it before explore all possibilities that come with that. Now i understand, thanks you for the advice.

The range of possibilities never goes down from being infinite.

Thanks both, for truth responses.

 No.483

If you haven't already; take a look at existential philosophy. What you're describing is what most philosophers would describe as a state of "existential nihilism". This is a real problem for many humans and dealing with it is met with various different answers. I personally find the most affinity in Max Stirner and Albert Camus in this area of thought.

My direct response to your overall question is that I'm getting the impression that you're present lifestyle is the source of this despair that's severe enough for you to not feel like taking any action anymore. Is it perhaps your particular job that drains you to this degree, or maybe even this need to keep a job at all? In the first case I'd say re-think what way you'd be the least uncomfortable in getting an income. Having personally had a very wide experience in types of labor, everything from manual to office work, I find that computer-related work is without a doubt the most mentally draining. I would not want to do computer-related work for an income (even though computers are among my main interests). I want to keep that for my own FOSS projects; not for building Big Data, repairing corporate digital infrastructures or constructing proprietary A.I. If it's the latter; you're tired of having to commodify yourself for an income in general, then that's a harder problem to solve, but is indeed sought to overcome by a number of individuals, through actions like squatting, community farming, general communization (which free software and peer-to-peer file sharing could be viewed as a digital representation of), living frugally and taking what you desire into your own control with an awareness of commodity fetishism and the relative peace of mind accompanied with a frugal but sustainable lifestyle; in contrast to that of a life of market servitude accompanied by relative material affluence. The result of affluence in a market-based economy is always at the cost of a more violent and unstable environment.

 No.494

>>453
You should try thinking about this in a different way.
What your describing does fit the pathology. You only seem to be approaching the issue from one angle, always the same one, so you can only ever reach one conclusion. This is textbook depressive pathology right there.
"it all ends, so why care at all", this is a false approach really, because what is happening until it's over? The journey is more important than the end, cheesy as this sounds. If you were to genuinely only care about the final outcome, you'd go skip right to that point, if you catch what I am saying. As you have written this and and as you are struggling with the question still, this clearly is not the case.
Sit down and think, are you truly being honest with yourself, is this genuinely what you believe?

 No.500

>I consider myself rational, maybe to much, and year by year it seems to me that the human and the life itself are ephemeral.

your not wrong, when you reach that stage where you throw away all beliefs because you reached conclusion that they are all a lie - life may seem absurd but it is only because you reached half way of that journey (but you think it is an end). For some it is doubt and finally search for truth that keeps us going, but what happens when doubt and that search deconstructs all beliefs you had, and search for truth ends up in conclusion there is no truth at all? Realizing there is no higher reality might seem depressing but it is the first step in building your own reality. I think there is some purpose in nihilism you have achieved - all things that you taken for granted and other people take for granted you can throw away - because you realized they were only outside influence controlling you, giving you some purpose in life which turned out to be a lie. But these things are not useless i.e. Christine religion aims in making you good person, Buddhists want to end suffering in life. They are all some sort of lies that aim in improving ones life. Buddha once said my philosophy is a raft, when you get over the river it is useless - thats why he is sometimes portrayed as great deceiver.

So what is next step in overcoming this nihilism you have achieved. It is quite simple, and answer is contained in art. What I mean by that when you watch a movie or look at some painting - you know it is a lie, you know that all people in movie are actors and that painting doesn't represent the real world but it is just poor imitation of real life but still it affects you. You can find some higher truth in it, truth that is more powerful then reality - so powerful that it transcends reality, what I mean reality compared to this painting or a movie seems meaningless in some strange way - truth is less powerful then this lie.

So this is the answer, construct some lie for yourself - of course you'll now it is a lie, but a lie that will help you overcome meaninglessness of life. Make sure that lie serves your goals well - make sure it empowers life you live. This lie wont be the same as you encountered it earlier in your life, because it wont be something extrinsic that was told to you to believe in and served for some outside interest - it will be your lie that is constructed to better you and your lifPost too long. Click here to view the full text.


File: 1502407511968.jpg (72.37 KB, 500x500, DFnMcpWXoAEgeTb.jpg)

 No.491[Reply]

I'm going to post some things that have been happening in my mind lately, because I think some of you will be able to relate and maybe offer some advice.

My connection with meatspace has been cutting out. I'll try to explain what I mean: Imagine you are watching a film or playing a game and you are 100% immersed, and there is a power cut. You would get a surge of clarity as your reality suddenly switches from that of the film or game to that of meatspace. What's been happening to me is my immersion in meatspace is having sudden drops in the exact same way, the difference here is there is no, for lack of a better term, 'higher' reality for me to be pulled into. I see meatspace (including my own physical form) entirely objectively as if without a point of reference, in the same way that in the game example you would suddenly see that reality as just a screen.
I have noticed that when this happens I start interacting with meatspace, causing things to change, pushing things over, moving around etc. I think this is my subconscious mind trying to reconnect with meatspace by stimulating my senses with signals from it.

I am not saying this is only negative, I think it could be utilized in a useful manner, but I won't pretend its not stressful. If you have experience with this kind of thing, do you know of any ways it can be controlled and utilized? Just as bad as my inability to halt it is my inability to incite it. I've seen people talking about what I interpret as this kind of thing giving advice like 'push through it and you will find truth' or more abstractly 'seek mebious' (don't worry this whole thing isn't just from putting too much weight on SEL, I just connected this to that webpage when it started) but I don't know how to do these things. I am completely lost.

Sorry for the large amount of text, attached are some pretty maidens as a thank you for reading it. I'm posting this thread on applechan as well, but I'm not showing them to them, only you <3
1 post omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.495

File: 1502479397447-0.gif (3.31 MB, 320x180, エーテル.gif)

File: 1502479397447-1.gif (3.04 MB, 480x267, 彼方.gif)

File: 1502479397447-2.gif (3.45 MB, 480x288, not-alone.gif)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dissociative_disorder

you're dissociating. happens ┐( '＿`;)┌

whether it's "good" or "bad" depends on your outlook, i guess, but hopefully knowing what to call it gives a platform for research and moving forwards on your own.

 No.496

File: 1502483163018.jpg (241.13 KB, 670x992, 000004.jpg)

as for the whys and hows and things, the general consensus is an origin as a defence mechanism, a way to separate the self from things that hurt; when they're happening to "somebody else" they can't break you as readily. so that would generally show up in situations where the person is unable to proactively respond (why childhood gets brought up all the time, because children are at the whims of adults for things, but can happen in any analogous situation). have found it can also show up for more overlooked reasons (as they effect fewer people), though: living mostly in one's head, having little contact with other humans, and "reality hopping" (going from book to film to game to chatroom and back again). thus, one way to combat this (if you care to) might be pushing yourself to take part in more "meatspace" activities with a core group of people. can help for the due-to-abuse version too, though there's generally a lot of anxiety / panic / etc that makes it harder.

and to usefulness, sure, can be used to "autopilot" through difficult situations, suppose. you're likely to miss things that might help with getting out of those situations, though, so it's a trade-off

 No.497

File: 1502499168768.jpg (18.2 KB, 400x360, serveimage2577YN0E.jpg)

>>493
Not on its own, but I was thinking it could be used for some kind of deep meditative state.

>>495
Thank you, but unfortunately I checked the org thread first where someone had already linked me to the articles on depersonalization-derealization so they stole all of the gratitude that should've gone to you. I mean you did a cute little shrug and everything, you're really putting in the effort.

>>496
>living mostly in one's head, having little contact with other humans, and "reality hopping" (going from book to film to game to chatroom and back again)
Well, er, I guess that explains it then. Thanks for the information, its cool that being an average lainchan user has the same effects as years of childhood abuse.

 No.498

I've had similar experiences OP while >>496 is right about it being a defense mechanism, one of the meds being used to treat it is nalaxone which is an opoid antagonist. You are probably flooding your system with too many endorphins from constant stimulation. Try no-fap and not always switching from one thing to another trying to be entertained. It worked for me, I hope I'm not projecting too much.

 No.499

in my experience anyway, this is probably a result of some sort of thing happening or having-happened in your life. if you want to get your psychological state under control, its a probably pretty prudent plan to try and figure out what is effecting you, and causing this, that it may be addressed if possible.

seperatley, as far as controlling and inducing this sort of thing, I feel like I had some success meditating into a state like that (forgive me, my vocabulary to describe this sort of thing seems rather sparse), some years ago. Not with quite the immediate zoomy-out feeling you seem to describe, but the third person dettached-ness and feeling of being an observer to self, most certainly. I also participated in some therapy which, in reflection I am not sure was supposed to follow a detached perspective, but used hypnotherapy to do sort of guided visualization meditation. it might be useful for keeping that sort of thing in your head, rather than manifesting suddenly when you're doing something in the world, but then I don't know your situation.

that said, I am not sure if really I controlled those, and furthermore am not really sure if any like, benefit or interest came of it. frankly it usually makes me feel a bit sick, and even if the actual experience fades it leaves a lingering sense of, I am not really sure. feeling like the world could all fall apart at any minute and I am not sure I'd care.

>>496
>autopilot
perhaps this is one of the few situations where it'd be truly useful, but honestly probably the ideal path would be to try and prevent those situations from happening entirely. I sorta think some of us get this disassociation as a result of being in those places where its useful a little too often. but I suppose its easier said than done, to get out,

>You are probably flooding your system with too many endorphins from constant stimulation
this sounds rather totally not like the times when I've had increases of disassociation events, I suppose I dont really know how the whole like, biochemical side of things work, but this description evokes a totally different image than whenever I've had feelings analogous to OP.


File: 1502038694654.jpg (29.17 KB, 576x800, Timothy.jpg)

 No.473[Reply]

Share some texts from the libertarian psychologist Timothy Leary.

 No.474

File: 1502038959025.pdf (262.28 KB, Timothy Leary - The Tibeta….pdf)

PDF of "The Psychedelic Experience/The Tibetan Book Of The Dead"

 No.484

File: 1502148901215.pdf (23.97 MB, Timothy Leary - Chaos and ….pdf)

Chaos and Cyberculture by Timothy Leary

 No.486

File: 1502149198831.pdf (1.55 MB, Leary's Trip Through Time.pdf)

Leary's Trip Through Time by R.U. Sirius


File: 1498793525464.jpg (413.22 KB, 2000x1101, Romantic_Wilderness.jpg)

 No.333[Reply]

This idea has always fascinated me and I wanted to know what my fellow lains thought. I've been pretty upset about a lot of things going on now and I'm wondering if this would make me feel better or if it'll just fucking suck and make me miserable. I remember reading /k/ threads about it when I was younger and it certainly helped to create the romantic notion of bushcraft I have today. Has anyone gone out into the wilderness to just rough it before? Did you know how long you were going to stay? What did you bring with you. Before the summer ends I want to hike down the highway and just go into the woods somewhere for a bit, find some peace.
9 posts and 13 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.475

If you use an android device, I recently found an "app" called "Offline Survival Guide". It compiles a good deal of information such as that posted in this thread.

 No.477

>>475
You really need to practice this stuff, doing it in your backyard following instructions is different to doing it in a forest at 6pm with a light drizzle and you're tired and your fingers are freezing up because you done goofed and got distracted and left setting up camp too late.

Or worse; you're stranded/injured and now trying to setup camp in soykaf conditions.

Things like starting a fire can get very difficult in soykaf conditions if you haven't practiced.

 No.480

Watch these videos https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAL3JXZSzSm8AlZyD3nQdBA

 No.481

>>480
Good channel. Him and Dave Canterbury are my two main channels I follow for this stuff.

 No.482

OP, maybe try to do some hiking. Do some shorter one day routes and then advance on some serious hiking paths.


File: 1501873466075.png (2.18 MB, 1520x1080, 1427441472655.png)

 No.461[Reply]

tldr: I'm searching for another lonely soul to collaborate on a programming project with me.

Since I had reached adolescence, I struggled to connect with people. Though I was at least partially contented with this, in recent years the feeling of emptiness and lack of purpose became unbearable.
Although I am not in any way ambitious in terms of career, after I had gotten my first job, my work became for me the source of meaning in life. The feeling of pointles-sness was contested by the obvious purpose I then had. But then mundaneness of my life swallowed my work too, and it became routine.

But I'm young, and as young people often do, I can still find comfort (and joy :) ) in education.
The problem here is that learning anything becomes difficult due to (again) the perceived lack of purpose.
Doing it with someone else is, on the other hand, is a whole nother deal :)

I'm a programmer (well, sort of) in my early twenties, and I'm searching for a person who would like to dedicate some of their time to a side project of sorts. Ideally, we would choose an area of knowledge (a programming language, a programming methodology, or perhaps even just a particular framework) that we both are not familiar with and try to implement something idiomatic in it.

I believe the collaboration would be proven beneficial for both of us.
5 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.467

>>464
>Being a lone wolf is one of the greatest lives you could wish for
It's a difficult skill to obtain. For some personalities it's harder than for the others.
(And I'm so fucking jelous of people who can be by themselves for a week without even a word spoken to them, and not spiral down in painful rumination, obsessive thoughts and general misery.

Not everyone can turn their lonelessness into solitude.

 No.468

>>466 >>464 >>463 >>462
OP here. I have a relatively modest experience with Java EE (from my work), but I'm interested in all things functional.
I know small bits of Scala, Haskell and various lisps (scheme (more), clojure (less)).
I'm very interested in Rust, but I have no experience with it. Its type system seems so cool though.
In recent days I was fiddling with a tiny (<100 loc) DSL in Scala.

 No.469

>>465
Sometimes I cravenly dream about the times to come and imagine that after the arrival of consumer-ready AI literally all these bullet points will be proven moot.

 No.471

>>461
It looks like you are making things more complicated than they should be. As a programmer, I'd expect you to seek out the simplest solution. I know I do.

Anyway, ask yourself what you're actually after. Friendship? Motivation? Knowledge? Don't try to combine them, that'll just make reaching them more complicated.

I always believed in the benefits of self learning, so I'm not going to help you so early on your quest. But I'll tell you this, whatever your goal is, diversifying your means to get there is key.

 No.472

>>462
>>463
>>464
>>466
OP here again.
My email: sans.frontieres@protonmail.com
If you are in any way interested, send me a letter.


File: 1501186063155.jpg (253.4 KB, 900x675, 6ccc59990b96c22d06e0039682….jpg)

 No.414[Reply]

Hello, lain. I came here to vent about my perpetual lonlenes. I have no hope of ever know ing the joy of love ans compainionship. Sometimes it, when I think about it, or someone says something about he subject it hurts. How do I cope with this. Ignoring ot only helps short term
11 posts and 3 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.439

>>437
Yes I work at a fast food place
20-40 hrs

 No.440

>>438
Our biology can be overwritten and society can get fucked, your happiness comes first.

I guess most people don't understand the freedom thing because they had it since birth. You need to really get to a hopeless state where you have to do things you don't want to do under a certain threat (military in my case). I'll take freedom over pussy any day, and I'm a 24yo apprentice wizard.

 No.441

Really OP? I don't mean to be indolent but I'm in the same position and I don't reallly give a soykaf.
Only occassionally I think about this, and it's more of a "Huh, I'm kind of detached from the general values of this society because they revolve mostly about having a family and related stuff, and I'm so alien from the social protocols that allow for this that I have zero hope of attaining it."
It only hurts me in the sense that this leaves me with essentially no purpose and that I don't have any motivation to pursue a career….
But the lack of a companion itself is so natural to me, that the sole idea of having any sort of romantic relationship is completely alien to me. Even as I see this idea being propagated literally everywhere, all I can see is a bunch of gratuitous problems.
That I do hate, the fact that it's propagated everywhere. Being an outsider to it kind of makes me see through the feelings that it tries to evoke, and it's just annoying that there's always a girl for the hero or some soykaf closely along that line. Indeed, "love" as in romantic relationships seems as unidimensional and boring, it's generally just lazily slapped on everything to effortlessly appeal to the wider public.
Anyway, I hope you do better OP.

 No.455

File: 1501784273836.jpg (36.92 KB, 366x361, 1394318875818.jpg)

From my experience I'm pretty sure its linked to honesty, you have to be honest with people about what you want and what you are, you have to be strong enough to brush off people who try to hurt you, because if you don't do both of those things, people will know you are hiding something.
Then, you come across as creepy, or weak and if you appear weak then people will be less likely to put energy and time into you, especially if you're a man.
If you want those 3dDDs then what you don't is try to manipulate things to get em, embrace who you are and what you want.

 No.456

File: 1501795645194.pdf (3.82 MB, [Henry_David_Thoreau]_Wald….pdf)

“I find it wholesome to be alone the greater part of the time. To be in company, even with the best, is soon wearisome and dissipating. I love to be alone. I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude.”


File: 1495830097725.jpg (1.01 MB, 1600x1200, loner3.jpg)

 No.234[Reply]

Does anyone else have an extreme amount of trouble trying to socially adapt to being around groups of friends and especially family members?

I can handle being around 1 maybe even 2 people but any more of a group and I start to struggle with having a conversation or being a part of anything with people.I'll randomly pull out my phone like a madman just checking the time waiting till I have to go or pretend to text someone or pretend to browse the internet even though I don't have data on my phone if I'm somewhere that doesn't have wifi.

I try to hang out with groups of friends but it's always awkward and people normally don't stick around being my friend for very long. I usually end up losing friends and even close friends that I hang out with more than 2 years with. Then I have to try to make new friends which is getting harder and harder as I get older.

Today was god awful, I was over at my dad's and he has having a cook out and had a bunch of the family over. Keep in mind I didn't grow up around these people at all, hell my dad wasn't hardly in my life until the last couple of years. And I'm almost 30 years old now so I'm further into adulthood practically a stranger to my own family.

I barely talked and just stood there trying not to make eye contact with anyone unless they asked me something or talked to me. But I didn't know where to start a conversation with anyone. Then out of nowhere they started to ridicule me and humiliate me to the point where I just had to leave and cry my way home. Now I'm just wondering if I should just cut these people out of my life since they didn't really care about being a part of mine as I was growing up. Then again at this point there the last bit of family I have left after what happened earlier in this year with my mom.

She was killed in cold blood and it devastated me to no ends, I'm scared every where I go and it's hard for me to be in the general public in the area that I live in. So I don't have a job due to not being able to find a job where I don't have to deal with the public but there's not much choices where I live other than fast food, I have extreme paranoia when it comes to driving, and my girlfriend pretty much takes care of me. So I keep getting put down for not being a "proper man" and I just hate being this way as I want to be there for my girlfriend. As why she's with me I'll never understand. I don't see what's so great about a loser like me. But besiPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

 No.235

there are people like you, im like that myself. there's just something about us that repels people sort of. who knows. maybe you're ugly or your facial features are just 'off' in a way that human brain processes them, and people end up disliking you subconsciously. maybe your speech patterns are like mine, where I sometimes talk in a way that gets perceived as negative or arrogant, but I mean no harm, I dont feel that negativity, yet apparently it does sound negative and overwhelming. and so on and so on. maybe you should just accept that you're sort of like that, a god's lonely person. but dont withdraw and give, proceed being yourself, at least that's what I did, and maybe you will be lucky and you will find people who will be ok with you being who you are and expressing yourself the way you express.

also, very few people are lucky enough to have good relationships with families, especially extended families, dont beat yourself over it. it's essentially random people, especially in western cultures, and nobody cares about you, and you shouldnt care about them much by default.

 No.236

and yeah, work on your appearance. it's probably the most important thing.

 No.254

You have to understand something about normalfags in general, that is, they're always looking for value. If you can't really in there with the flow of a group discussion, it just shows your low status of how worthless you are. Unless the other person is really a quite special case, you're going to have a bad time clinging to them even if you do consider them a close friend (they might not feel the same way about you!). They expect you to be able to carry yourself socially independently and to be able to comfortably get your bearings in a group. When you have to lean on someone all the time to have someone to talk to and not have to be all silent off in a corner, you're being dead weight more or less. Some people just aren't cut out to have (many) friends. Somehow you managed to have a girlfriend who cares you and who doesn't seem to mind so don't take that for granted. Keep your self-deprecatory thoughts to yourself. At the same time, you should be best friends with her and not just lovers. Sorry about your mom, lainon. Navigating these social waters is something that must be done alone especially as an adult.

 No.450

>>234
You seem to be quiet the strange case. On one hand you seem so far gone that even the mocking comments of your family hurt you, on the other hand you seem to have found a person that seems something in you that even pushes them to support you.
I would advise you to not freak out about it (your behavior). Think about it, you have made it up this far, so being weird for an additional year won't kill you.

Make good use of that time though. The most important thing while being in a crowd of friends is to listen. And listen with intend you only have to do.
In a crowd with strangers ? Good, just go about your business.
It seems you're thinking too much about acting what would be "normal". Keep in mind that doing nothing is normal.

 No.451

>I barely talked and just stood there trying not to make eye contact with anyone unless they asked me something or talked to me. But I didn't know where to start a conversation with anyone. Then out of nowhere they started to ridicule me and humiliate me to the point where I just had to leave and cry my way home
I had a very similar experience recently except I didn't want to draw attention to myself by leaving or moving at all for a little over an hour, even when they made physical contact in their mocking.

>Now I'm just wondering if I should just cut these people out of my life
What would you get out of being around them in the future? From what you said my guess is 'not a lot', except from a lot of misery and discomfort. And don't interpret your inability to connect with these soykafters as a problem with you.

>Then again at this point there the last bit of family I have left after what happened earlier in this year with my mom
This means absolutely nothing. Just because they're genetically related to you does not mean they are worth having in your life, and it certainly doesn't mean they can fill the gap left by your mother.


File: 1497032096432.gif (311.93 KB, 480x360, giphy.1.gif)

 No.293[Reply]

I will start

Happened today :
>be good in school
>be in class
>teacher tells class to prepare a project
>go to the only person that is still not in a group that is not dumb (that you thought was your friend)
>ask if he wants to be in a group with you
>he looks around in the class if there is someone else
>then he says : "oh, i don't want to be in the worst group again"
>the teacher says : "don't worry lain you won't be be alone again just do it with your friend"
>he shouts about always being in the worst group and continues to offend me

10 minutes later

>ask the other person you thought was my friend if he wants to go to the movies sometimes
>looks at you uncomfortably
>other guy shouts he won't go with out !!

>cry
>nobody cares not even the teacher

>go home
>cry
>parents and siblings don't care
>think that nobody cares about you not even you so why not die..
9 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.381

File: 1500586078805.webm (3.21 MB, 1280x720, pop.webm)

>>294

I'm never lonely, I am only what I am.

 No.382

>>381

Fuck, I hate poppy.

 No.383

File: 1500608685187.png (104.15 KB, 365x316, poppy.PNG)

>>382

 No.384

>>296
>There is a single person with some annoying or very annoying features that he fails to notice, fails to pick up cues about it, and when people adapt to it by avoiding them they end up weaving a narrative of an evil world.
does "being autistic and bisexual" count because that's why I was so alienated in school.

but I'm sure most people who are bullied deserve it, right lain?

 No.432

>>293
You're in a box of people who are probably as insecure as you are, maybe even more. Say you make friends with them, at the end what are you gonna get from those people? A group of insecure people only gives the impression that they are happy and confident. If something happens to any them it's just another story in their Facebook feed, giving each other likes for "support". They don't care about each other OP. So why do you want affection from a couple of selfish people?


Delete Post [ ]
[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17] [18] [19] [20] [21] [22] [23]
[ Catalog ]