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/feels/ - personal experiences

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Help me fix this shit.

Kalyx ######


Hey, I discovered this forum yesterday and now I already feel like this is the right place to get some outsiders opinion about my relationship.

I've been in a relationship with a mentally unhealthy girl for a year now. I love her like hell but she thinks I don't. The real problem in our relationship is the lack of confidence she has towards me. I am lost. A day or two after we started dating I told her about this friend that had a kick on me a while ago. This girl in question is someone really important in my life and I don't think ending our friendship would be worth it. That being said, this friend causes a lot of trouble in my relationship. My girlfriend constantly sees love through her actions and she's convinced that my friend is better that herself. I think the worst problem in our relation is the fact that she constantly tries to make me feel like she feels. For example, one day my friend asked me for clothes because she needed some pants after spilling juice on hers. I gave her, and now my girlfriend a month after started complaining and said that she would send clothes to her ex living far away (She still talks to her ex claiming he is one of the friend she has). As I said, she is mentally unstable. She tried to kill herself a year and a half ago and she is diagnosed with multiple mental issues. I know I do mistakes and I know she does too. I am not there to make her look like she is guilty. I think I am in the position to make her feel better about life but small little things of everyday makes me think that I'm not the right one. I would like to hear your opinion about it. Thank you. If any other infos needed, I can provide them. As I said, I really love her and didn't plan for a second to mess with her.



Why did you choose that picture for the thread? It's sending mixed messages.


Why would this be the right place for your pointless self-serving bullsoykaf? Either leave the girl or stop hanging around your ex, don't come posting online fishing for someone to tell you how in the right you are.

Goddamn underachievers.



It's not my ex. Ive never engaged a single love story with this girl. and as I said, I am not there to prove im right. I want some opinions


this girl is fucked and your relationship with her is fucked. It sounds like she is extremely dependent on you.

This story probably ends in heartbreak.


My advice is don't look for relationship advice on sites like this.


>I think I am in the position to make her feel better about life

You're almost certainly not in that position. Only she can help herself feel better and find happiness in life.

Your girlfriend sounds kind of manipulative, but I'm only going off of what you said. However, if you think that way, too, maybe it's time to rethink where this relationship is headed. You can make it work, but she needs to help you along the way.

With all that being said, having been that mentally unhealthy and depressed person in my relationships, it means a lot to have someone by my side who can put up with me. I found myself a wonderful partner who I feel like understands me and my mental struggles, and their patience means the world to me.

Your girlfriend sounds like she needs a rock, and if you truly love her, you can be that rock. However, a relationship is a two way road. She needs to play her part. Not making you feel guilty over petty things in response to her own insecurities would be a nice start.


She needs professional help from a therapist, there's nothing you can do to help her. I know it sounds rough, but that's the bitter truth.


Just have other girlfriends/fwb, that way when you inevitably find out she’s “cheating” on you with her ex or some other dude you won’t feel so bad.


Reading this thread, I feel like every reply is dead wrong in their diagnosis except >>2944


Yeah, it's not like you're gonna take the wrong advice from a place like this and ruin your life with it. You're just gonna get a pile of rubbish from people projecting their own problems, basement bound hikkis, people who believe in memes like "social engineering", reciters of proverbial "truths", trolls etc… you're inevitably going to roll your eyes and realize you've wasted your time. Never in my life has anyone given me useful advice on a chan. Half the time it's not even on topic.


I've learned from a lifetime of ignoring sound advice and stubbornly trying to the contrary that you can't fix people. People fix themselves, or they stay damaged.

So do with that what you will. Hope things go better in the future regardless.


OP, i'm so sorry you're going through this. I ddo really suggest you don't take advice from here, go to someone you trust who understands the situation a bit more. Please be careful.


Yes, true. I can see some possible borderline traits there.

If this is the frame of the situation, you'll need to be very understandable with her. I know that's very easy to crucify the borderline (just dealing with the hypothesis), but I don't think this is the better way to act.

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