>>916My guy, as a Catholic myself the only advice I can offer you is this:
"Do not, I beseech you, be troubled about the increase of forces already in dissolution. You have mistaken the hour of the night: it is already morning."
Basically you need to realize that we're in the fucking dark ages right now. Much of the problems affecting huge portions of the population right now that are perceived as simple facts of life are actually just simple facts of late-stage capitalism. Secularism is the regime we live under. You can try to make yourself at home in it, but it's not going to work, you only think it will work, it's all wretch and no vomit, the worship of the Spectacle, the life enshrined in our perception of "society" that we are always forced to behold but can never attain.
It isn't my place to tell you what to do, maybe by going with the flow and adapting to the system it will be possible to obtain some happiness without totally selling your soul, but imo that is at best a stopgap measure and you know it. The only true way out is to forfeit everything society has trained you to desire, and then to live unconditionally. I would like you to be happy, but the kind of happiness you're looking for just isn't compatible with the current system. You will keep getting the illusion of happiness, in many forms, the weekend, your "friends," consuming media/games, distraction in general etc. You'll NEVER get that sense of belonging which an intelligent man such as yourself always comes to desire, not even from the Church because Church is perceived to be a "second place" in secular society, whereas in a non-secular one Church was seen as the whole point and culmination of the week leading up to it.
This is the reality: We simply live under a system that alienates the truly intelligent. The less you are, the more you have. You can either be the poet who can't express himself or the worker who has no self to express. In both cases you suffer immensely. As of right now, there is nothing in the entire universe to be happy about, so I suggest you look somewhere else for that, and I think you know where I'm going with this. Choose to keep your suffering earthly and your mirth heavenly. That's the best I can come up with, hope it helps.
