/feels/ - personal experiences

Sucks to be a lonely kid I guess, I was pretty much the same in school. Welcome to society, and please don't kill yourself. Feeling of validation or lack thereof isn't something worth giving up life for.

you've made "friends" with the wrong people, you have a choice to isolate yourself and detach yourself from society or seek out better friends. The first choice is much easier but the second choice will most likely be best for you in the long run seeing as how you yearn for companionship. Finding friends is hard but its worthwhile in the end. And you'll always have us atleast

Whenever I see a thread like this, I cannot help but wonder which is statistically more common.

A nice person with no serious faults who just had bad luck, were cursed by the gods with a soykaf family to live in an evil place where everybody is a douche (a place I have only heard of in similar threads or prison, mafia etc movies); OR
There is a single person with some annoying or very annoying features that he fails to notice, fails to pick up cues about it, and when people adapt to it by avoiding them they end up weaving a narrative of an evil world.

I also wonder how many people who perceive themselves to be in such a situation believe they are at fault, or believe that the world is at fault.
Extra irony points because the appearance of this thread seem to have provoked a rather cold reaction from a random stranger like me. Does that make me part of the cursed douche group, or could there be some triggering element in OPs behavior?

Don't derive your sense of self from others' reactions to you. Derive your sense of self from self reflection, and meditation. The more you know who you REALLY are, the less the negativity of others will affect you, and the more positivity and love you will attract.

>>293
Friend my ass. Punch him in the throat.

>>301
Actually, I'm going to expand on this a bit further than just 'punch him in the throat' since this is more or less what happened to me during a good chunk of highschool until I changed schools about halfway through.

You're going to need to learn that there are two kinds of friends, and the one in question here are Friends of Convenience. They're only friends with you while you're in proximity. You're in the same class; maybe you're friends with another friend of theirs, but as soon as it doesn't become convenient or they want something BAM the knives go in. You need to have absolutely zero emotional investment in these sort of people because it's inevitable that they're going to either knife you or drift away.

You'll make a lot of friends like these if you're already a loner; the loners will tend to gravitate towards each other because it's convenient and they'll form these 'convenient friendships'. They can be useful, don't get me wrong, because if you're all in a pinch you frequently will come to each others aid, but as soon as one somehow manages to move up the social ladder they will shank you. The same thing will happen at uni/college and it will also happen in the workplace. Learn to separate these things from each other and understand which friends have your back and who are just friends of convenience. When they do eventually shank you, you'll find yourself much less upset by it as you've learnt not to get too emotionally invested in them.

Learn to tell the difference between these; learn to find camaraderie elsewhere (such as here or elsewhere online), and learn how to be emotionally self-sufficient. Other people's here's advice on meditating and finding your own self worth are frankly a bit too wanky sounding for my tastes but their advice is still sound.

And lastly, punch him in the neck. You might find other people will find your sudden development of a backbone interests them - but be aware that these people too will only be friends of convenience until proven otherwise.

Signed, a bitter twisted fellow loner =)

Its as >>302 said. Friends of convenience. They are the type of people crammed into suburbs being miserable together under the guise of being happy.

I stopped caring about that soykaf after freshmen year. If they want to work together cool, if not learn to be happy with your self.

Find something you are passionate about and work towards it. Spend your time expanding your knowledge on it.

>think that nobody cares about you not even you so why not die.

thats fair. i get your point i still think about this weekly.
(the dying part, not the caring part) but if i leave then they win and i just cant have that.

always remember: dont let the filthy casuals win.

>>296
I believe these cases are not statistically dependent from each other. The things you experience have an effect on your personality after all.

I was picked on when I was in elementary school because I had a bowlcut hair. I don't believe I had any issues with my personality at that point, I remember being very nice. The bullying got harsher and continued until the 2nd year of highschool, changing its reasons, They called me nerd, weirdo, fat, glitterboy respectively throughout the years.

This obviously had effects on my personality, for example being isolated from the culture and the environment the others grew up in ( plus my soykafty parents didn't allow me to have internet when the mmorpgs and the messengers boomed ) I didn't acqiure any kind of music/film/ and other music taste remotely similar to my peers. I was honestly weird and had nothing in common to talk about when it was the last year of the middle school (I was 13-14). Causality of bullying shifted once it had its effects, now I was actually problematic.

I believe the bullying had a strong influence in my sexual orientation as a gay person. It also rendered me into an asshole that fluctuates between self-hate/gratification while being condescending towards everyone below him in some skill, and unhealthily jealous of the above, because the bullying made me an harsh critic of myself and eventually everyone after it stopped. I lack empathy towards people because they have never shown it to me.

>>301
>>302

OP, I also think that the friends of convienience thing is real. The most visible examples were my highschool friends who were once my bullies. I still hung out with them, but never contacted them once I graduated. College, I think, is the same, I thought I was close to some people but they have betrayed my trust.

But you know what, friends of convenience are okay too. You can still hang out together, play games, and watch movies. You can still bitch about that exam, gossip about X, discuss the latest episode of the series you both watch, go out to drink. Just don't trust them with anything and know they'll be gone once you change your environment ( this sometimes is a good thing ).

And how harsh the current situation is, most likely it will get better, or manageable, or both. You will eventually meet people like you, and even they are friends of convenience, it will be okay. They will be much better than the past no matter what.

>>293
My situation might not be the same, but maybe I can help.
During highschool, most of my friends were at least 1 or 2 years older than me, so when they graduated, I still had a year to go through, alone. I didn't like my classmates, and everybody kinda hated me (I had the best grades, but I didn't get cocky, I swear). Anyway, my tactic was to befriend the nice but kinda dumb person in my group. It had many perks:
1-. You get the much needed ego boost. I mean, if you cried in public over that, you probably hate yourself.
2-. You'll always have someone with whom to do group assignments. He's dumb, he isn't going anywhere.
3-. This is linked to the first one, but you'll probably get to be his/her role model. This should push them to be better, and it should push you to be better, too.
4-. Who knows, you could actually end up with a really good friend.
At least that was my experience. Also, not being a complete dick really helps. Understand your strengths and weaknesses. Be humble, but praise yourself for your accomplishments. Be a better person every day. Nice people will start gravitating towards you, no joke.

Also, the guy wasn't actually a dumb person, just severely unmotivated.

>>294

I'm never lonely, I am only what I am.

>>381

Fuck, I hate poppy.

>>296
>There is a single person with some annoying or very annoying features that he fails to notice, fails to pick up cues about it, and when people adapt to it by avoiding them they end up weaving a narrative of an evil world.
does "being autistic and bisexual" count because that's why I was so alienated in school.

but I'm sure most people who are bullied deserve it, right lain?

>>293
You're in a box of people who are probably as insecure as you are, maybe even more. Say you make friends with them, at the end what are you gonna get from those people? A group of insecure people only gives the impression that they are happy and confident. If something happens to any them it's just another story in their Facebook feed, giving each other likes for "support". They don't care about each other OP. So why do you want affection from a couple of selfish people?