/feels/ - Feeling distant in groups and with family

Name
Email
Subject	Spoiler Image
Comment formatting options
File
Password	(For file deletion.)

File: 1495830097725.jpg (1.01 MB, 1600x1200, loner3.jpg)

Feeling distant in groups and with family Random 2017/05/26 (Fri) 20:21:37 No.234

Does anyone else have an extreme amount of trouble trying to socially adapt to being around groups of friends and especially family members?

I can handle being around 1 maybe even 2 people but any more of a group and I start to struggle with having a conversation or being a part of anything with people.I'll randomly pull out my phone like a madman just checking the time waiting till I have to go or pretend to text someone or pretend to browse the internet even though I don't have data on my phone if I'm somewhere that doesn't have wifi.

I try to hang out with groups of friends but it's always awkward and people normally don't stick around being my friend for very long. I usually end up losing friends and even close friends that I hang out with more than 2 years with. Then I have to try to make new friends which is getting harder and harder as I get older.

Today was god awful, I was over at my dad's and he has having a cook out and had a bunch of the family over. Keep in mind I didn't grow up around these people at all, hell my dad wasn't hardly in my life until the last couple of years. And I'm almost 30 years old now so I'm further into adulthood practically a stranger to my own family.

I barely talked and just stood there trying not to make eye contact with anyone unless they asked me something or talked to me. But I didn't know where to start a conversation with anyone. Then out of nowhere they started to ridicule me and humiliate me to the point where I just had to leave and cry my way home. Now I'm just wondering if I should just cut these people out of my life since they didn't really care about being a part of mine as I was growing up. Then again at this point there the last bit of family I have left after what happened earlier in this year with my mom.

She was killed in cold blood and it devastated me to no ends, I'm scared every where I go and it's hard for me to be in the general public in the area that I live in. So I don't have a job due to not being able to find a job where I don't have to deal with the public but there's not much choices where I live other than fast food, I have extreme paranoia when it comes to driving, and my girlfriend pretty much takes care of me. So I keep getting put down for not being a "proper man" and I just hate being this way as I want to be there for my girlfriend. As why she's with me I'll never understand. I don't see what's so great about a loser like me. But besides the point of all of that. It's just so damn hard for me adapt in a social environment anymore. I want to do more I really do, but I just wish I had a little bit of support and help to get through all of this. It's like I can't figure out the path to take in my life. I know I need to beat this fear to finally move on with my life. But can I really do it alone and being socially awkward the way I am? I just wish people especially my family would want to help me better my life instead of making it worse and humiliating me.

Zero Cool 2017/05/26 (Fri) 23:58:09 No.235

there are people like you, im like that myself. there's just something about us that repels people sort of. who knows. maybe you're ugly or your facial features are just 'off' in a way that human brain processes them, and people end up disliking you subconsciously. maybe your speech patterns are like mine, where I sometimes talk in a way that gets perceived as negative or arrogant, but I mean no harm, I dont feel that negativity, yet apparently it does sound negative and overwhelming. and so on and so on. maybe you should just accept that you're sort of like that, a god's lonely person. but dont withdraw and give, proceed being yourself, at least that's what I did, and maybe you will be lucky and you will find people who will be ok with you being who you are and expressing yourself the way you express.

also, very few people are lucky enough to have good relationships with families, especially extended families, dont beat yourself over it. it's essentially random people, especially in western cultures, and nobody cares about you, and you shouldnt care about them much by default.

Cheshire Cat 2017/05/26 (Fri) 23:59:14 No.236

and yeah, work on your appearance. it's probably the most important thing.

John Doe 2017/05/29 (Mon) 20:35:06 No.254

You have to understand something about normalfags in general, that is, they're always looking for value. If you can't really in there with the flow of a group discussion, it just shows your low status of how worthless you are. Unless the other person is really a quite special case, you're going to have a bad time clinging to them even if you do consider them a close friend (they might not feel the same way about you!). They expect you to be able to carry yourself socially independently and to be able to comfortably get your bearings in a group. When you have to lean on someone all the time to have someone to talk to and not have to be all silent off in a corner, you're being dead weight more or less. Some people just aren't cut out to have (many) friends. Somehow you managed to have a girlfriend who cares you and who doesn't seem to mind so don't take that for granted. Keep your self-deprecatory thoughts to yourself. At the same time, you should be best friends with her and not just lovers. Sorry about your mom, lainon. Navigating these social waters is something that must be done alone especially as an adult.

bikethief 2017/08/02 (Wed) 00:02:00 No.450

>>234
You seem to be quiet the strange case. On one hand you seem so far gone that even the mocking comments of your family hurt you, on the other hand you seem to have found a person that seems something in you that even pushes them to support you.
I would advise you to not freak out about it (your behavior). Think about it, you have made it up this far, so being weird for an additional year won't kill you.

Make good use of that time though. The most important thing while being in a crowd of friends is to listen. And listen with intend you only have to do.
In a crowd with strangers ? Good, just go about your business.
It seems you're thinking too much about acting what would be "normal". Keep in mind that doing nothing is normal.

Laughing Man 2017/08/02 (Wed) 01:04:01 No.451

>I barely talked and just stood there trying not to make eye contact with anyone unless they asked me something or talked to me. But I didn't know where to start a conversation with anyone. Then out of nowhere they started to ridicule me and humiliate me to the point where I just had to leave and cry my way home
I had a very similar experience recently except I didn't want to draw attention to myself by leaving or moving at all for a little over an hour, even when they made physical contact in their mocking.

>Now I'm just wondering if I should just cut these people out of my life
What would you get out of being around them in the future? From what you said my guess is 'not a lot', except from a lot of misery and discomfort. And don't interpret your inability to connect with these soykafters as a problem with you.

>Then again at this point there the last bit of family I have left after what happened earlier in this year with my mom
This means absolutely nothing. Just because they're genetically related to you does not mean they are worth having in your life, and it certainly doesn't mean they can fill the gap left by your mother.