I'm addicted to cigarettes and alcohol. I'm what some people might call a "functional alcoholic" but I don't like it. I mean, I get everything I need to do done; I'm successful in my career, but I'm constantly broke from buying more alcohol and smokes despite making a decent amount of money.
Alcohol is one of those things that can creep up on you since it's so socially acceptable to use and before you know it you're downing 14-16 beers a night during the week and who knows how much on the weekends. You wake up feeling like there's an electric octopus inside your stomach and someone is hitting you in the head with a bat, but there's always coffee, the other socially acceptable substance. Let the dog out, go outside, have a few smokes, maybe weep quietly for a bit, and then get ready to go to work.
By the time work is done you're feeling somewhat human, and the liquor store is on the way home anyway, so you might as well stop. It's been a bad day and you really deserve this. Get beer, get smokes. Stand at the counter and hope your card goes through this time. They know you there and you don't want to get a bad name. Drive home and start again.
The dog is so happy to see you. You've been gone nine hours, which is like ten days in dog time. Put him out, go outside, crack a beer again, have another smoke. I refuse to smoke in my house, even in winter. Play around with the dog for a while, he's the only other interaction you might get today. Dogs don't judge. The dog gets tired, so you bring everyone in and keep going as well as you're able to.
Maybe it's time to go out and get some interaction. Don't do this every night. Pretend that you're a normal person. The bar is about two blocks away. Might as well walk, even though the cops would never come this far out of town. Blow $80 on bar beer talking to people you don't even really know. They're just acquaintances, people you talk to that really do the same thing you do. We're all putting on a good face.
Stumble home at the end of the night. Maybe you'll have something to eat, maybe you won't. It's irrelevant at this point. Sit on the couch and watch some TV. Or, fire up the laptop, go on the internet and see if anyone else feels like you do. Get tired, pass out. You might be in your bed, you might be on the couch. The alarm goes off either way so you can repeat the cycle.
Honestly, I've been trying to wean off alcohol with kratPost too long. Click here to view the full text.