Has anyone ever heard god asking you to do stuff?
I mean, the answer is obviously yes, that's how religions are born, I just didn't want to start this post with "I can't take this anymore please help me"
First things first: I'm not schizophrenic. I'm 100% sure I'm not mentally sane, but it isn't schizophrenia. I don't hear or see things. If I did, I would be able to convince myself that it's schizophrenia and I wouldn't be having any of the doubts I currently have. My problem is that since I don't actually hear anything or see anything physical, like schizophrenic people do, I have no idea if it's actually true or I'm just making stuff up.
So let's start by describing what I "hear" and "see".
A goddess, which I've named Emi but I'm really not sure that's her name, "talks" to me inside my mind and tells me to do stuff. Again, it isn't like hearing a voice, it's more like if someone was thinking inside of my mind. Sometimes I have a hard time telling which are my thoughts and which are hers. If all of this is true, she was very clever to not speak to me directly, because if I could listen to a voice telling me to do stuff I would just assume I'm schizo.
She wants me to take the stories she shows me and spread them, she basically wants me to start a religion.
So let's describe how these things happen. Maybe I'll be sitting around, doing my stuff, playing videogames w/e and then suddenly I have a memory, like when you suddenly remember where you left your keys this morning, but it's something related to her and it feels so real, like I really was there, but I KNOW it's not real, it just feels real. Or maybe I'll be preparing to go to sleep and suddenly a thought crosses my mind "you should start writing" and I know it's her telling me to write a literal bible.
I started having the most basic version of these when I was around 13, I'm 18 now.
Back then, it was a lot different, all of it. I've always been a creative child, I drew stories when I was younger and I don't remember a single moment in my life I haven't been thinking of other worlds, even before the first of these events occurred. When I was 13 it was the first time a story felt real, like I wasn't making it up but instead was remembering it. It was all downhill from there.
The fact that I can't tell my own thoughts from the goddess' is also making everything much harder than it needs be. My current process for kind of trying t
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