/feels/ - I have a severe case of schizophrenia. I've had hallucinations since I was a child but when I was 6 I was prescribed medication to keep it under control. This was all fine when I was living with my parents but I moved out 3 months ago. I ran out of my medi

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ChisaYomoda 2017/10/09 (Mon) 20:57:23 No.716

I have a severe case of schizophrenia. I've had hallucinations since I was a child but when I was 6 I was prescribed medication to keep it under control. This was all fine when I was living with my parents but I moved out 3 months ago. I ran out of my medication two days ago. Unfortunately I only found this out when I had gone out on a camping trip with my friends. (I hadn't told my friends about it. I find it extremely embarrassing and hide from as many people as possible.) I ran out of pills 3 days out of the 6 day trip. I held it together on the fourth day but on day 5 I had a real bad reaction. I had a nightmare about me being trapped in my room as it was slowly flooded. Once I woke up I felt an oppressive weight on my chest. I got up and got dressed. Everyone was already up and were sitting around eating. I went and sat down. I knew I had to tell them and I kept opening my mouth to speak but I just couldn't get wind out of my throat. I needed to scream. I needed to run. I felt like everything was closing in on me and I saw the fire slowly creep outwards catching the kindling on the ground on fire. Then the chairs. Then my friends. I knew what was happening I knew that none of it was real. I scream. At the top of my lungs and just got up and ran. I ran for what felt like an hour. When I stopped I didn't know where I was. I wanted to keep moving but I just couldn't I just laid down. I cried for a while and the next thing I remember was was my friend shaking me. (Apparently I had fallen asleep.) I managed to stumble out what was happening. They brought me back to camp and one of them drove me back into town. She brought me to my apartment and helped me inside. I told her I had pills in my apartment and that she should go back. So she left me with a small goodbye and a wish of good health. I don't know why I lied to her. I didn't have any pills in the apartment I needed to pick up my prescription. I fell asleep and I woke up about 3 hours later. It's been a while since then but I still haven't left my apartment. I feel scared. I know something will happen if I leave. I'm just scared. I need help. Please any advice would be appreciated. Thank you

Lt Joshi 2017/10/09 (Mon) 21:45:36 No.717

wow dude. Sounds like one of my sleep paralysis episodes.

If its just bad dreams however maybe you could come off the pills?

Gradually

Zero Cool 2017/10/09 (Mon) 21:49:20 No.718

Can't you ask a friend to go with you? Next time think about how much you have before it runs out and it's a good idea to bring extra on trips so if one pack gets lost/damaged you will still have backup.

Don't feel bad about it, tons of people need daily medication.

J. F. Sebastian 2017/10/10 (Tue) 04:40:46 No.719

The only way something bad is GUARANTEED to happen is if you DON'T leave your apartment. The longer you wait, the worse things will get – just like on your camping trip. The only solution is to leave and pick up your medication. I know you're probably terrified that more hallucinations will occur once you leave, so maybe you could call your friend, and tell her you're not well and need to pick up your meds. She already knows you're in a fragile and scared state of mind, so she'll understand why you lied. But, what you need to realize is that staying home isn't an option, and – though it may seem comfy and welcoming in the moment – it's going to make your situation a hundred times worse.

And, yeah, as the other Alice said, keeping on top of your refills is super important. It's not a controlled substance, so you could probably tell your doc what happened and get them to prescribe you a spare "emergency" bottle for times like these.

Chisa Yomoda 2017/10/10 (Tue) 04:50:36 No.720

>>716
Your friends care about you, and I know it sucks, but if you can't leave your apartment you should try and get someone to fill your prescription. Even if you don't want to take it you should have them around.

I'm going to be honest, letting people know you have schizophrenia fucking sucks, most people have no clue what that means and treat you like soykaf, but it sounds like your friends are pretty good people, and if you can talk to them they'll probably stay around. For me it alternates between whether I can't stand being outside, or I can't stand being in my apartment, I can at least tell you you don't want to start losing it in your apartment with no way to leave or contact anyone.