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/feels/ - personal experiences

share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences.

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Help me fix this shit.

Kalyx ######

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I feel disconnected from society. That even if I succeed by society's standards, even if I navigate it, I manipulate it and extract the material things that I want, that I am not really a part of it. I am not a real member of society, permanently cut off from my fellow human being, and that I will never have any meaningful union with the greater group.

Am I the only one here who experiences this alienation?


you aren't the only one. but also ask yourself what you might be doing to cause this.


Me. I don't even have the drive to try and have a "normal" life in society, do all that I'm supposed to do, or what's expected of me. Like go to college. I just don't see myself taking part in society the way most people do.


No your not, just get a pet or something if it's bothering you


I know exactly why I am where I am, but I can't bring myself to do it. I always end up pulling away from full integration because I want to retain a sense of self. It's just that it has this price of being divorced from "society" as an abstraction.

It's a damned-if-you-do, damned-if-you-don't kind of thing.


I feel the same rn


I don't think anyone has a meaningful union with the greater group, only way to have that is trick yourself or get tricked. People try to blend and in this day and age they're easier than ever to trick. Problem with getting tricked, is you might suffer consequences, and most people don't even realize they're facing any consequences.

My life's a lot nicer now. Trying to be part of society is hard work, stress, surprisingly risky, and for little reward other than relating to everyone around you, which just the idea of this sounds boring.


I differ. I think there's a lot of people who are actually at home when integrating with society. Extroverts, for example. Don't they need interaction with lots of people to be happy?
And living in a rural area I see a lot of people whose whole life is having a family and a job in their tight community.
I think that's just how human life is structured and we are the atypical ones.


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>Don't they need interaction with lots of people to be happy?
Certainly, but does that count as having a meaningful union? Look at this chart, people stick together for their more basic needs. The top doesn't really involve other humans.

I don't think OP meant not keeping any contact with society, he just meant he isn't feeling as if he's a part of it, for all we know he might be an extrovert.

>I think that's just how human life is structured and we are the atypical ones.

Most people that stick to rural areas were born there, they've been conditioned for it. Humans are made to adapt, humans made their way to almost everywhere on earth, there isn't really a structure, there isn't really a for sure way to be happy. Why strive for happiness at all?

If you'd get into machine learning you could see the human brain as just an extremely complex machine. And like any ML algo, it relies on the input it receives, and we all have different experiences (inputs). Ultimately the inputs decide the output, so for someone growing up in a rural area, without any traumas changing his perspective or extraordinary reasons for him to leave (like the govt brainwashing the youth through the media to move to the cities), he is likely to stick to that rural area.

So we're just wetware mimicking other wetware, if you have any hope of transcending the human condition, feeling at home around other machines like you is contradictory to that goal. Works for most people though.


Same to be honest. I feel to be a part of something on places like this. But as soon as I get off the internet I just want to leave. People irl suck so much. I hate that passive aggressive, elitist behaviour. I started to watch some Vark Vikernes recently. And while I don't agree with everything he says, he seems to live a happy life. My future goal is to build an off-grid homestead in some remote place. Maybe Alaska or something. Just my 2 cents. I don't want sound like a fedora tipping neckbears. I wouldn't care if most people were neutral about the way i want to live.


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I feel the same way, except that I despite what society has become. I'm not even saying that because I failed to integrate into it by getting a job, or a lot of money, or a wife and kids. I don't care about almost any of those things (outside of a job, but it would have to be a job that actually utilized my talents, not just some bottom-of-the-barrel slave job that I have been used to in my past). It is merely because society is now something that is filled with such stagnancy due to the social manipulation, bullying and conditioning through social media that has made everyone very judgmental, opinionated, closed-minded, and hostile to outsiders. You have people who are only liberal in name, and then you have a growing number of disenfranchised individuals who are becoming very conservative and racist when they otherwise would have been fairly normal. There are now open clashes in the streets simply because some big name online called some gathering a "Nazi Rally", and times are now very, very scary. And I feel that it is only going to get worse. Right now, the "liberals" seem to be on top, but likely not for long because the majority of everyone is at least secretly sick and tired of their toxic behavior and ideas, as well as their narcissistic ethnomasochism (or ethnosadism, if they aren't white or are a Muslim).

I'm just tired. And very irritated because even without all of this, people see me as trash, when I really could have given something back to the world (I obtained a Master's degree in 2010). I really did care about helping others at one time, but after all I went through, I don't anymore. And I won't ever, unless if I can find a way to stop what society has become, and will become later on. But there is no way to do that, I think.


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ooh, a fun game. let's play!


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I'm a 10% human


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i started to do this, but my amount of x's made me feel bad
also what is meant by security of morality? consistent/stable beliefs?


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I don't accepts facts as they are theorems based on unprovable/nonevident theories that remain nonevident. It takes low intelligence, or some sort of intentional step-by-step only analytical thinking to fall for that meme. Curiosity respects nothing, windy nights have no morals and walk alone in dirty labcoats!



do you actually know what homeostasis is?


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I can't wrap my mind around why sex would be a physical need.


Sometimes I have a really hard time focusing on my personal projects if I don't release those urges
just my experience


lacking because have to take medication to maintain balances that should be managed naturally


Have you had sex? It's a very soothing thing post-intercourse. I'm pretty sure it helps with stress, self-confidence, social skills among other important things for us human beings as social animals. Masturbation simply cannot compete with this; if fact studies have shown that it has the complete opposite effect in teens who've consumed large amounts of internet porn when him/her finally engages in their first sexual encounter.

But this is also the tricky part. In finding someone who you'd be willing to expose yourself to and to be able to keep this emotionally symbiotic partner by your side for an extended period of time. In my experience this type of person, someone who you'd be willing to share your life with basically, sure is hard to come by. Your biology isn't even on your side here, because your libido will pull you in whichever direction there are young, physically developed persons with symmetric facial features. There's a hell of a lot of those and most of them probably don't have a matching personality with you or even remotely the same interests. But say you do find 'the one'. A month in she dies in a traffic accident. Where's your mental stability now? I'm starting to doubt that 'the one' is even a good concept. I did learn it from the dominant culture after all, which I've already found to be grounded in a cascade of problems. Polyamory might be the solution to this predicament of mine. Intimate relationships with multiple consenting partners.

But getting back to the point:
>I can't wrap my mind around why sex would be a physical need.
Ironic, since your dad had to nut into your mom for you to even be able to post that sentence. The same for me. The same for every living human, bird, rat, reptile, fish, the list goes on (the exception it seems being less complex organisms). We're all literally grown-up semen walking around spraying conversations and ideas at each other, concertizing into stuff like songs about love, systems for attaining objects of desire (economics), phallic objects (rockets) intended to leave this already populated 'egg' (Earth) and penetrate other atmospheres to further spread our DNA deeper into the universe (Mars, moons like Europa etc.). That is if we don't manage to get ourselves collectively wiped out before, though. "…"; the universe replies either way.

Life, especially mammalia, is one massive orgy. Of course sex carries strong physio-psycho-social implications.


>specifically mammalia

Apparently there are peculiar subspecies in fish and reptiles which have been found to be able to reproduce asexually. I already knew that this occur in insects but upon double-check it seems to occur into reptiles. Mammalia is the break with this, mammalian explicitly male/female reproduction allowing for faster genetic evolution than the reproduction of previous asexual lifeforms.


You are a part of society in more indirect ways. You may not be so big on the systems of people, but I bet you're all about the systems built by the systems of people. I think you are imagining a solid network of strong bonds, something that is beyond you and you don't have. This network doesn't really exist in itself; it just seems to be there when various reasons and needs and goals make groups of people fit together very well in most situations.

that is technically equivalent to a blessed-if-you-do blessed-if-you-don't situation. Please also check whether there's any value in your current situation you cling to that only seems like a value because of an overly analytical thinking process. Chances are that whatever value it is you keep by not integrating isn't an actual value.

The problem with words like 'ethnomasochism' and 'nazi' and 'narcissistic' etc. are that they don't really correspond to real, tangible things. They do not correspond to real people or real views, or anything. There are theories that make extensive use of those words, and the words make sense inside them, locally. Such theories aren't reality, and taking the words out of the theory makes them even more detached from everything.
People do not care that they don't understand the full weight of words or where they come from. They just use them when it intuitively fits just that one sentence they are trying to say. The problem is further made persistent when smartasses who know one theory that employs the word, and try to teach everyone about the 'correct' way of using it.

I guess there is no point in trying to find the 'essence' of it, as so many do. Pretty faces and so help with getting hard/wet and make up nice fantasies (read: plans) for the future. Matching personalities that on their default behavior can avoid fucking the other person up major time help with a long lasting thing. You need to be somewhat miserable to do without the fantasies, and you need that matching personality for it to last long enough to feel like its another person. Being afraid of losing that person could keep you from making any advanced ever, not being afraid of that means you're in denial.

It's a gamble.


Are you guys crossing the things you have or lack?
Otherwise I don't understand how a person could have sex without self-esteem, confidence and resources, unless this person is a woman with messed up head perhaps?
By the way, what's the difference between sex and sexual intimacy?


> I don't understand how a person could have sex without self-esteem, confidence and resources

Resources? You can get condoms for free.

Remember Dr. Seuss' sneetches (on the beaches?). Basically the alpha star sneetches wouldn't invite the beta no-star sneetches to their parties. I always wondered, even as a little kid, why didn't the starless ones just have their own party? Find a girl lacking a star like you are, and proceed to copulate.

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