/feels/ - personal experiences

because you aren't alone and we are all fucked up. I need you.

>>503
Reason - a cause, explanation, or justification for an action or event.

Your reason to exist is sperm meeting an egg, that's it. Do with that as you will. Whatever other reason you give yourself is an illusion you choose to believe in. Some people take religion, a family of their own, or whatever strikes your fancy.

>is there really a reason to live even if you dont achieve anything?
In the end nobody achieves anything, you think the universe will remember humanity? The universe doesn't care. We're set in a fixed course and there's nothing you can do to change it. Whatever free choice you think you have isn't free, it's already been decided by the states of every quark in the universe one planck time earlier, and that was decided a planck before, and so forth, till the spark of creation. The future is set in stone, you can either cruise lazily through life, or rush through it like a magnificent comet through the milky way, it was already foretold. The state of every atom in your body will decide the next state, and so forth, if you choose to improve yourself in any manner, it's not even your decision, your brain's chemistry and wiring just came to that action, what you believe is "you" is just here for the ride. In your body, you're the only who has no idea what is going on. Your consciousness is so many levels of abstractions above your existence that you not only can't change anything, you can't perceive anything for what it really is either. You, me, and anyone telling you otherwise, is absolutely hopeless. I'm not saying abandon your hopes and ambitions, but there's no point losing your mind over feeling not important, "you" may not be actually in charge of any of your actions, but in a way, you are. You "can" change your ways and achieve something, but whether you do or don't it was already decided, in a way, for you. So you might think it was your own decision, it wasn't.

That aside, my life "goal" is just to get comfy.
It's harder than it sounds.

>>503
I think that you should just take a moment and think about what you really want out of life and pursue it, don't give up on your dreams at the smallest bump in the road, keep chasing that light at the end of the tunnel and you'll get there eventually.

I have a couple of goals in mind to achieve, but all of them revolve around making my existence more comfortable. So I guess I'm just as stumped as the next guy.

I used to have principles that I thought were iron and could not be shaken. It lent meaning to the world around me and pushed me to make changes in my life, but I stopped believing in anything once I realized I'm not like other people and will probably never be fulfilled here on Earth. I don't fit in anywhere, I'm not very desirable to have around and I don't really like people on top of that.

I don't even fit in here. I seem to be differently minded than everyone everywhere. I've pretty much come to terms with being alone forever and never having someone to share these feelings with. Even if one of the many who feel the same try to empathize with me I'll still believe that they don't really get it. Not like I do. I have a few people I talk to (online ofc) like that who I get along with or whatever but I don't really understand them, nor they me. Somewhere deep down I probably don't like them either. I just really need the company.

I enjoy things, sure. I laugh with people, trade jokes with them. I try to be accommodating and thoughtful. Sometimes I even feel like everything's okay. But the realization always kicks back in.

Maybe death is the only way out, but I'm afraid of it. Even though my consciousness will be gone and I won't even experience it, I'm afraid of the black void of nothing beyond life. So I guess that's out.

People are defined by their memories, right? And people with similar memories are more likely to get along (if you follow logic, though people aren't logical). But two people will never share the exact same set of memories, and I think that's where my problem lies. I've always thought of myself as someone with a lot of empathy but I guess that's not the case. I can't even connect with people different from me.

Anyway, I can't reassure you that life means anything because I'm pretty much a confirmed nihilist. But hey, I get the feeling. You're not alone in that.

Man, if they come out with virtual reality cryopods I'd be the first in. Imagine living in your own ideal world forever. Screw what happens irl, if the nukes fall then good. I don't want anyone pulling me out.

When you step back and see the larger picture, everything is useless. All humans can and will accomplish, is altering the lives of other humans, a tiny bit at a time. You just altered mine by posting this, OP. Maybe me responding will minorly alter yours.

Everything everyone does is pointless. But take comfort in that. You don't need to live up to any standards. You don't need to have a 'use' or have to prove your worth to anybody. You get to do whatever you damn well please. Set your own goals based on your own interests, and reach them. See what you want to see, and experience what it's like to be a human. Enjoy it. Stop and smell the flowers. Hell, if you enjoy just browsing forums, do that.

You are not born with a grand purpose, nor is anybody. Nobody is alive to fulfil anything.
People just DO the soykaf that they enjoy, and some of it just HAPPENS to be useful.
Bless you OP goodnight

>>511

What do you do if there isn't anything you really enjoy? I used to think I enjoyed videogames, anime, music and webdev, but I notice now when I put it up to scrutiny, I don't enjoy them, I just do them to pass the time. But now with the emptiness expanding and time slowing they don't even do that. I have nothing to enjoy, and no purpose in life.

Hope is the reason to live.

It's also one of the things that will help you do something to change the world in meaningful ways – whether big or small.

>>585
You sound like you never did anything in your life.

>>505

I found comfort with determinism by studying some early modern western philosophers, and understanding their struggle with ontology. It gave me a sense of clarity when thinking about existence itself, and it feels good to know that even the sharpest minds in history cannot reveal fundamental truths about that.

Living, however, is a completely different matter and there's no answer but your own. Personally, I think that a life should be measured in terms of the experiences generated for both the individual and others. This is of course highly subjective, and nothing that can /really/ be measured. It's up to you to develop a sense of judgement for these things if you think it's worth it.

>>503
TL;DR
If you can't find a reason, it's because you're not supposed to look - you're supposed to make one.

Try to find new interests lainon. Don't be afraid to try new things out of your comfort zone. Things that make you happy will naturally converge in a way that is amazing.

>>586
not going to prove any of the stuff i've done on an anonymous image board.

>>503
>Is there a reason to live?

Only the one you make-up for yourself.

>>507
>I don't fit in anywhere,

I know that feel.

>Even if one of the many who feel the same try to empathize with me I'll still believe that they don't really get it

I definitely know that feel, too.

>People are defined by their memories, right?

That's a matter of perspective. People are define themselves by their own internal memories, but others define them by the memories of them.

>Is there a reason to live?
Short answer: no.
A bit of a blogpost but anyway
The way I go about it is simply being selfish. Many people claim they don't kill themselves because of the suffering it could cause to others. Personally, I don't care about that. If you have to suffer a lot your whole life so people don't have to suffer a bit for a couple years, it's not worth it.
That said, I do have reasons not to just kill myself. I have objectives I want to fulfill, things I want to do with my life. I know I will not even manage half of that, and yet I have fun when I see myself inching ever closer to one of them. Endgame for me would be learning virtually everything, watching everything I wanted, beating everything I wanted and having a loving wife. By then, I would probably be bored and might even kill myself. The reason why I live is because I haven't accomplished everything I wanted, so I guess you could say my reason for living is to work towards that which I want.
There isn't an objective reason to exist, like improving society or whatever, that's just subjective stuff people make up. It might be useful towards inventing more and more technology, but it still is subjective. That means you just have to live for what you want to live, be it changing the world or watching anime.

you don't need a reason, no one needs a reason. and although i really want a reason, i can get by.

you don't need an explanation to your life, dude, do you own anyone anything ? just have fun while it lasts, you'll get a few years in limbo and then you're out.
life is not just all material achievements, man. now of course you need cash for food and shelter, but i'd prefer a nice book and a hole in the wall rather than being a piece of soykaf billionaire who spends his days sniffing coke and sipping martinis because he's got no idea how life is supposed to work.

>>658
I like your way of life. Personally I believe there's some sort of afterlife existence, and getting there as a sad sap who killed himself would be lame, so I devote my life to improving myself and making worthwhile memories.

>>503
>is there really a reason to live even if you dont achieve anything?
I assume there's some standard embedded in your head by the media you consume that you're supposed to be some kind of net positive gain for society. Well, I'm sorry, but that's an illusion. Either listen to me now, or let life kick you around like a ball until you figure it out yourself. Whether you do make something out of yourself the only things it'll affect are the humans on earth, the only beings we know who are allegedly intelligent enough to comprehend things, and surprise, all of them, dead or alive, are on earth (or orbiting), which is just another blob of stuff out of a septillion (that's 24 zeros) other blobs of stuff. Whatever you discover or do in your lifetime is so hilariously insignificant and yet you sit there sulking that according to the conditioning you underwent by your environment that you're a useless person. Everyone can drop dead right now, and for the universe it's as significant as a fart in the wind, even for earth it's of not that significant, besides some reactors going kabloowie, in 200 years earth is as good as new, and regardless, the sun will shine come morning.

So unless you're gonna clash some galaxies for some sweet sweet fireworks or stop the expanse of the universe to initiate the collapse, anything you could possibly do in any alternative lifetime where you're not a total loser, is ultimately pointless regardless of how society views it. I know it's easy to see humanity as something above what it actually is, but it's not all that.

I understand that looking at things from as far as the entire plane of existence does nothing, but it just takes to show that these circles can be ignored just as you would the universe. Can you change the universe? No. Do you care? Probably not. So why bother with circles closer to you? Earth? Fuck it. Society? Fuck it. Family and friends? Now that's a circle you can definitely improve. Your want to be improve society is artificial, that's all there is to it.

I know the OP is a month old but I don't care.

>Is there a reason to live
No. But since when has not having a reason stopped you from doing anything?
Fuck a reason, do it anyway just because you can! Or don't, it literally doesn't matter because again, life is meaningless. You can do anything you want! There is no reason to live, nothing has a purpose so you can't lose, because there is no win or loss state in this game. For me, not having a reason to live is the most freeing and comforting thing possible. Am I gonna fuck strippers and do coke? Hell yeah! I have literally no reason not to and neither do you.
>not going to do anything to this world to change or just to make it better
why would you want to make an effort improving this world for other people? What has it ever done for you that deserves that treatment? Life is like a really hot but really bitchy girl. You may as well make use and enjoy yourself with her before she breaks up with you. You need to fuck life in the ass, tie it up, ball-gag it, whip it who gives a soykaf.
>even if you dont achieve anything?
achievements are meaningless, why would you want them? Who remembers the name of the third person on the first moon landing? Fucking no one, he has achievements he went to space, was part of humanities history and no one knows his name. Trying to have achievements to be remembered by is futile, you will be forgotten no matter what. You want to feel good about yourself? Have fun, don't bother with soykafty achievements, what are you gonna do, work your ass off in school, get a boring job then kill yourself at 40? Fuck that soykaf! Nihilism+hedonism is the best combination in the world.

>>503
theres no such thing as "better"

because for everything there is an opposite force in place.

we live in a temporary arrangement and it's nearly impossible for one man to significantly change reality nowadays.

it's a matter of statistics.

>>688
>because for everything there is an opposite force in place.
>it's a matter of statistics.
Gonna call you out.
Regression to the mean means that outliers will be diluted with things, such that the average tends towards a mean value or trend.
Statistics says that there is no magical opposite force to counter your work, only the average of everyone's work will make your greater-than-average contribution just a drop in the bucket.
Now, is that drop in the bucket significant? That's another topic for the ages.

There likely is a meaning to life, a reason to live, etc. Nihilists are likely wrong. Their mistake is likely in their confusion of 'cannot be expressed' with 'doesn't exist'.

The world has things beyond human scale - for example no single human being alive can imagine seventy billion different human faces at once and keep them all in their head. There might be engineers who can create machines that can do it, but that's not humans. The machine might somehow assist the human by putting the images and keeping them in his head, but that's still not the human. Currently existing, non-fictional humans (that is, anybody alive on this planet that might have an opinion on the meaning of life) are simply underpowered for the mental task.

This does not stop anyone from making guesses, or produce guesses based on methodologies that convince them and other that the result will be the actual thing. Some guesses might be close and prove reliable most of the time. This includes the guess that "there is no reason to live", because there is plenty of cases where other simple reasons fail and thus support this one.

Overall, it is quite likely that there is a reason to live, it's just not possible to name or know it.

>>700
Is that still a reason? Doesn't "reason" imply that it can be rationally understood?

Read Albert Camus, the absurdist.
He philosophized about this in detail.
Embrace the Absurd