/feels/ - personal experiences

I have asked myself these very questions countless times, and have come up with a different answer each time. The most reassuring (for me at least) is that once you're dead, you won't care that you're dead. By thinking about when you are going to die, you are worried about the missed opportunities. If you weren't afraid of missing out on life, you would kill yourself without hesitation. Humans are hard-wired to enjoy certain stimuli. However, it's not a matter of enjoying it while you can, as once you die you will be unable to comprehend anything whatsoever. Time will not exist. Sensation will not exist. Your mind will not exist. You will not exist. So live in the moment. Do what makes you happy now, as now is the only time you'll ever know.

I highly recommend looking into Alan Watts. He delves into existentialism with a spiritual approach, yet can be appreciated by even the most radical of athiests.
Some related lectures of his:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jp3pY4A6ke4 (short) //Directly related
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VynqBYwLzA4 (short)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MUj80bIEJpI (long) //Directly related
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ry94tFG4CIM (long)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i_B8rjqNnCw (long)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1WBt7MD1CJ8 (long)

Take all of this with a grain of salt, as what I find to ease the mental burden of the self actualization of one's own mortality may not have the same effect for you.

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Life is a ouroboros, all change is a illusion,
you can never die because you were never born.

You can never suffer from evil because there is no real good that can be taken away from you.

Everything turns in on it's self and comes right back to where it started, time, history,ourselves, the universe it all just keeps coming back.

Every-time you think "was i here before" or "this feels like something that's already happened" the answer is always yes.

The world is nothing more or less then a infinite eternity that just keeps repeating, one big cosmic farce.

I cannot personally understand the need for meaning in life. But I can understand the need for stimulation.
Death, to me, means that there will be a time I can do no more. I will need input and output until then to keep me mentally capable of staying alive. There's much to experience.

Have you ever actually tried a dreamless sleep though? Like meditating all thoughts away in sensory deprivation.
It is not bad at all. Very calming, very numbing, and extremely time dilating. If that is what awaits me beyond life then I welcome it without any arms.

I must say, you do not need to be comfortable in your body. You just need to not be uncomfortable.
Seeking comfort for comfort's sake is not productive and, if you go about it through drugs, very harmful.
As long as you don't feel notable discomfort, you can still experience things uninterrupted. Even deriving pleasure from doing so.

Problem with death is that you can only experience it trough others - it is in a way most personal "experience" because it can not be shared directly, we can not be involved in death of others. For this reason it seems that we can not really now what death is.

But problem with this claim is that we still experience anxiety and that shows that we have some deeper understanding of it.

So lets try to analyze this anxiety towards death. We can say that theres always certain incompleteness in our existing life - it is always directed in "what is not - but can be". By removing that incompleteness that constitutes are experience - that is never in present but always directed at future - we get exact character of not existing. With this interpretation we can see that death is ultimate possibility of absolute impossibility (impossibility in sense of previous claim maid - in death nothing is possible to say it simply).

It seems that we are thrown into this indirect experience of death that is outlined and it is revealed trough anxiety. This fact that death is known as our ultimate possibility which is direct negation of us and negation of any possibility per se reveals that are current existence is factually "not-true". It is radical claim that goes against are current mode of existence and so death is always subject of being blurred and misrepresented in effort of us fighting it. It can be simply destroyed as a possibility and turned into availability - it is one of ways to deny death in some way - I say in some way because after all it cant be completely denied. But confrontation with death and realizing that it is only certainty and you utmost power in you that can be and come into existence is most authentic experience you can have.

This is somewhat translation of my notes on Heideggers chapter on death which is I think closest to understanding of what death is. I tried to remove all complected made up words that he throws out. Mind you - english is my second language and this is what is considered one of most unintelligible writer because of his terminology and playing on german words I hope I made it clear without simplifying to mutch.