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/feels/ - personal experiences

share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences.

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Help me fix this shit.

Kalyx ######

File: 1567823684344.jpg (53.82 KB, 500x500, serveimage.jpg)


I had 3 serious girlfriends in my life, and even tough some stories happened years ago they still keep me up at night. I never had issues socializing, i'm a higly functional person in this society, and i have more serious problems like probably becoming unemployed in the near future or the world slowly turning into a distopia, so how can such stupid things like average romantic human relationships be so destructive and override all the rest?
Anyway, my question is, will they fade away with time or, even with years passing i'll still remember every fight and every breakup, and every relationship more will mean more pain and more soykaf to remember and to fuel my insomnia?
The problem is that when you're happy you don't think about it so it sticks less to your memory, while instead bad things usually make quite strong memories

Sorry if a little edgy but this board should be the right one for this kind of stuff, i suppose


The memories will always be there but over time you'll get better at handling them.


>The problem is that when you're happy you don't think about it so it sticks less to your memory
I think you hit the nail on the head alice. Maybe instead of focusing on all your negative experiences, it would serve you to be more mindful of all the happy experiences that you have. The present can always beat the past, if you give it the right mental space and recognize it when it's happening.


This is pathetic.
Try harder next time ?


Kinda sounds like I'm saying that, yeah. But also there's no surefire way to live life and always be present and everyone does it a bit differently. We have to always be trying and working on it. Alice has made the first step, and all I really wanted to do in >>3079 was focus on that accomplishment. I don't know what techniques will work for them, because it's different for everyone but there's always a way, and I know Alice can do it!


You'll likely continue re-creating the same scenarios even in your head/with other people until you wipe the slate clean with a moderately high dose of LSD or similar. It has to do with the dunbar number and the limits of the neocortex. Just have good archetypes ready to fill the void.


Everybody is different, it sounds like you have a good memory. It's a blessing and a curse.
This is just anecdote, but…
I had a girlfriend once with an extremely good memory, but she was also constantly traumatised by things which happened to her several years previously.
I am the opposite, very forgetful, when bad things happen to me I look forward to the future because I know the memory will disappear into the past. But… I forget a lot of things that I want to remember as well,.


I know you can't stop remembering the memories. They can be traumatic - it's OK to talk about it. Cherish the good ones.. never mind the bad. If the memories are intrusive and devastating to your functioning you can have drugs / neurosurgery to make that thought disorder disappear (really works - not recommended)
Want to know the best part? The horrible ones will repress themselves for a time - it's a survival mechanism. So your worst ones.. you can't even remember!
Anyone care to share memories they repressed and uncovered with detective work?
>Finding HS sweetheart fucking my dad
>Rejected on holiday at 17


>Finding HS sweetheart fucking my dad
do you want to tell us more about that? I would like to know more about it.


Well.. back then I lived in a 400/wk motel. She NEVER came over.. still never does.
I was on the bus line and dad asked me to come over - so I did. Took 2 hours and a 2 mile walk.. maybe a little less. I was on zoloft and it gives me intense brain fog. I distinctly remember that.. horrible feeling and I felt it that very day. I opened the door.. down the stairs.. through the doorway.. and there it was.
Now.. about this little lady.. radiant young thing.. blonde, petite, tan. Now, I'd cried hysterically for hours over her before.. at 18 because she rejected me in cruel fashion in the corridor at school. Now 21..
She was on top of him going down on him. She didn't stop.. they didn't.. anger.. they switched positions.. I began to cry again. They took all the knives so I wouldn't cut (they still do this) and she exclaimed "It's just sex!" She was all sweaty and wet.
She left one joint later. Lovers quarrel. Didn't last long, those two. I think I got an in tears pity handjob. Dropped acid that night..
Then 2 weeks later I was upset over it and I did a cut on my left arm. I was told I nearly bled out.. nowadays neither of us hear from her.

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