/feels/ - personal experiences

i should study for university but all i do is playing games not caring about anything at all im tired of thinking for months about same things over and over again and i really need help by this point my life will be ruined

i sometimes feel like someone's gonna sneak up behind and cut my throat

i think about it everyday going home after school when i dont study when i dont do anything i start to think again and i get sad that's why i play games eat or anything bad for me drinking doesnt help spending time with friends doesnt help i cannot tell anything about myself to anyone i act differently at school at anywhere except my room sometimes i just want to get a lethal disease and die peacefully

Hello, and that sounds tough and I'm really sorry for that. I think you shouldn't be limiting yourself by thinking that your life is going to be ruined, ofc its easy to say but maybe you can achieve it unlike me or some other people. You can't get ahead of thinking about things, many things, it's hard. I feel ya.

It just may be that you have to survive this episode, and some things are going to be better. But do I even have the rights to say this lol.
I'm same as you too, my family said to me that they thought my mental illnesses will ''pass over time'', and they saw that it didn't. They said that I SHOULD get help after 5 years, they're still not helping me but at least they know that something's up.
Sometimes you just need help from your family, and if they don't help you, you may get eventually stuck in this loop of feelings. If you can't get any help in any ways, you could try getting used to it. It's really hard but trying could be worth it.