I KEEP EATING!…
I CANT FUCKING STOP I DON'T KNOW WHY MY BODY DEMANDS MORE FOOD.
My god its doing my head in, why is my body so fucking retarded? I have started to cut milk out again and avoiding lots of different foods now, but fuck me why does it keep demanding food?!
I don't want to eat but I have a massive urge too, so I drink my black coffee or coca to feel full. I hate my body so god damn much because its just trying to make me fat.
Having a chicken Schnitzel for lunch, I hope its not a calorific mess. I need to maintain and manage my body. But it seems like my body has its own ideas on how to do that, and it involves in increasing amount of food.
WHEN THE HELL DO I GET MY BODY MODS TO STOP THIS?!
To answer your question just ignore him,
Ignore him and never admit he exists, it will eat fools like the up like me on a fruit salad.
there are a number of pills that will make you feel full, but using them will be at your own risk https://www.amazon.com/Skinny-Fiber-Digestive-Appetite.../dp/B01ESZ8Y1E
they also might make you constipated
i want him to feel emotional and or psychical pain. i want him to suffer for what he put me through
If he is as much of a narcissistic cunt as you suggest cutting him off from everyone will cause lots of emotional pain. They just cant deal with it.
im too much of a pussy, if i wasn't i would be dead already
he has plenty of people to fuck with, I don't think me pretending like he isn't alive is going to do much. I've already tried to but it does nothing. I want to make this week as horrible as it can be for him, he deserves it for ruining my life. btw he spreads untrue bullsoykaf to people about me so now I can't make any friends. I have to see a therapist now because of this fuckhead, I can't trust anyone now because of him. one day I was in class and "j" said some soykaf that caused me to cry in public for the first time in years. I went to the consoler who said that she was calling my parents because of this. when I got home my parents told me to tell them what happened and why I wanted to die, if I didn't they were gonna send me to a mental institution. they told me how bad their lives were and that I have nothing to complain about. they also put a timer on and if I didn't tell them once it was up I was gonna be sent. when I told them they took away my door and everything I needed to get me through tough times. I cried every day. I want him to suffer for what he has done is that too unreasonable. he has had 0 repercussions I want to be punished for a change.
>>2486> You know how to make them suffer.> You are "too much of a wimp" to do it.
Given the above facts, you should move on with your life and try to think about something else.
this is still a rant thread so feel free to post
I used to see this cute girl on the bus almost everyday but then they disappeared for months but today I saw them again but was too scared to tell them how happy I was to take the same bus again.
if I were in your position I would give her something with a note saying how you feel, but don't write your name unless you want to. just a suggestion.
Sometimes the madness swells up inside me. Neither anger or hate but the only word that really fits it is a rage. A manic unstoppable force. I know now that my death no matter the circumstance will be described as anything but natural and peaceful. I don't know if it is going to keep getting worse. I remember the people I care about and I am not needlessly violent. I am on the motorcycle pushing it down the highway, everyone else pulled the break but I keep going faster and faster. Wind in my eyes tears flow freely but I dare not blink. I will burn up. Never to fade.
Wait a sec, you can't be talking about this fucking tard right?https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxUFjnwSkc9a8hh-btvN46g
I wish that pic related. It is a cute.
Reading your comment the first time I had a knee jerk reaction to cringe laugh, then i caught myself and re read it trying to place myself; in your state of mind, I hope you can hold on to that aditude, not many can.
oh I am, this man "j" is that fucking retard that he believes it
I still think about you every day.
Do I have something to work hard for?
Almost finishing my career, and I'm already scared and demotivated
I just can't finish my projects, and lose focus on my ambitions, and always ending consuming soykaf in any IB, or playing videogames, always slacking off, and later regretting all the time i just fucking lost.
I CANT FOCUS, HELP ME
I really like what I'm studying, making programs, and learning new stuff, but, in the end, everything is wasted, just flushed away from my brain with all the time i invest doing FUCKING NOTHING
A person I deeply cared for that I might have hurt badly regardless. I dont know how to get in touch with them anymore or if they would even want to talk to me. feel like soykaf about it every day.
Maybe they aren't hurt as badly as you thought and are out there somewhere also thinking about you. Maybe they think you are the one who is hurt or angry, or it's a bit mutual on both sides. There must be some way to get in touch with them.
Recently I've wanted to quit my job and find another one, one that I can actually enjoy and doesn't feel like an endless 12 hour loop. And even though I despise my current job because I feel that I'm learning nothing (as in a trade, science or anything that isn't moving polystyrene, the codes for said polystyrene, and how to unclog the machine should it get stuck), and my patience towards the supervisors and production line leaders is growing thin, since the only thing they do is scream their lungs out all day, even with all of that I can't bring myself to quit this job. I've tried it before and couldn't do it.
I also find myself less and less motivated to go to university as a result. I get home and I'm tired and flustered and overall I don't want to do anything else besides playing vidya or with my willy. Then, when Saturday arrives, I just don't want to get up for uni, and skip the first two or three classes as a result. And when I do show up because of some odd miracle, besides the obvious "Oh hey! You're alive!" jokes, I feel like I woke up from cryosleep and went from the capsule straight into the classroom. Then I feel disoriented and depressed and it makes me want to drop out but I can't do it for some reason. And it has me thinking: "Am I trying to prove something to someone else? If so, then who? My mom went back to our hometown, I'm alone now. Why am I trying to prove myself to someone else when there's nobody else with me besides my roommates and their cat?"
Do you know what kind of work you would enjoy?
I actually helped write that original document on partyvan.info, I was a regular poster on the /i/ boards on 420chan, 7chan, 888chan, 711chan, and was active in all their IRCs. That said, the infographic from the wiki archive you are posting is really off topic and out of date. There are probably enough new techniques from recent years to rewrite that whole thing from scratch.
That said, funny to see some great old content.
I got kicked out of school for schizo soykaf but I can't get on disability for stupid reasons so now I'm in vocational rehab being in and out of jobs because of schizo soykaf so I've been quite the stressed kid as of late atop dealing with the constant loneliness of feeling like you're in a world of npcs or an alien among humans but any time I try to talk about my feelings with people that I try to consider friends they undermine my soykaf and make jokes out of it even though I always pull out a million there theres for all of their bs. I know none of this can be helped but it feels nice to say. it feels nice to be able to talk to all you glitterboys who actually feel human to me and to see that you lot are going through soykaf to and that we're all here for each other and all that sappy bs.
it seems my self hatred knows no end
like all i want is to see my health burn
but not to the point where i die because i cant do it
right fellas I'm fucking terrible at writing so you'll have to forgive me
late october last year met some bloke over discord and I guess my brain thought it would be a right old laugh if I decided to become insanely attached to him, funny how that works, it's not like he really did anything to try and encourage it, I guess Yamazaki was right, odd to think the only 'real' person I've ever cared for to any actual degree is someone who I never knew the actual name or face of.
So, I tell him this, and he understands it well, apparently I'm far from the first. What happens next is basically he forces me to watch this anime and play that game, and I think I do a good enough job, we talk regularly inbetween and I do appreciate him, that's why I'm willing to really do what he says, because I actually care for him, unlike anyone else before, and even if I'm a bit reluctant and such (naturally, I'd imagine, nobody really wants to do something they don't want to do), and well fast forward to yesterday and he decides he's had enough of my delays and yeah he's fucking gone now, I can't say I didn't see it coming or anything, we both recognised that while I was very dependent on him, I didn't mean much to him at all, and so it was only to be expected. Still, he said that he'd not spoken to any other individual for anywhere near as long as I had, and that I was much more entertaining (I'm funny apparently) than anyone else, so that's good enough I guess.
I would say at least now I have nobody holding me back from seppuku but I know I won't ever do it so rant over I guess.
Of course I'd suggest trying (more) to move on instead of tormenting yourself further trying to torment him, but it's not really my place to judge.
If you want to make him suffer, don't do anything that can be proven. You'll be caught and he'll get a kick out of it. Other than that it really depends on what you are capable of physically and mentally.
I almost got killed by a fucking tornado last night
I have so much soykaf I need to do tomorrow and it's not gonna get done.
Just do the best you can mate
I think I can actually do it, it'll just all be last-minute work.
At least it was not an earthquake this time.
I've been renting my current place for nearly four years, and in that time the owner has never done an inspection. In fact I've only heard from them once, when my autopayment for rent took an extra day to process. Thing is, my hot water has been broken for nearly 18 months, the tank literally split. I've been meaning to tell them, but how can you talk to someone when you haven't heard from them for years?
About a week ago I had a roof leak though, so I was forced to contact them to get it fixed. They did what was needed, so all good. At the same time I mentioned "oh yeah, my hot water system broke in the same weekend". They sent out a plumber, who identified the issue and replaced it. Did he notice it' s been off four 18 months? Did he tell the landlord?
Now my landlord has finally bothered to ask for an inspection. Totally fine, a few things I need to get around to now (weeding my back courtyard for the first time in four years, vacuum and dust in hard to reach places, fix the soap holder that's been broken for 2 years in the shower - pointy).
How did I go so long with no running hot water? Should I hate myself? Should I hate first-world living standards?
P.S. Any gardening tips for someone who's never done it before?
It is just a rental, it being dirty or whatever isn't going to make any difference, the landlord can't evict you for being moderately dirty. Also I highly doubt the landlord is going to evict you for having some overgrown weeds. The most that will ever happen from the inspection is that they will tell you to clean, and then make a record of your houses state so they can try to steal back the deposit. Which was probably going to happen anyway, it always does. Don't be so worried arisu, it is just a rental, not like you won't get another one soon anyway.
I don't know how I'm going to get a better job in this bullsoykaf city than my part time coding job who I've been with for years to make ends meet, they can't seem to understand that the rent is actively up on my ass and keep telling me "you need to build reasons to work full time" as if being there for 5 years and being one of the few who actively learn and code JS isn't a reason to give me more hours or even money to have more hours building our damn projects.
I just lost a client willing to pay a massive amount of money because some dumb fucking firm that they originally couldn't afford and builds websites like soykaf for $5k somehow convinced them, physically, to meet with them.
The politics in this city is fucking depressing. Rich people hating middle-rich people who hate poor people, and I often have to hide that I'm a poor motherfucker who just happened to have a well adjusted family friend who was able to buy me a computer when I was young, jump starting a computer addiction.
One of my friends are maybe missing. I already miss him and I'm awfully afraid, he's quite like me and I'm hoping he's just taking a good break away from the phone and computers surrounded by literally everyone here.
I have a music label and manager who're on the opposite ends of 'how much music should you be releasing'. People give me airtime and nice words, but no playtime / gig spots. I'm struggling to figure out where I truly want to sit musically because I'm capable of both ends, and it's starting to turn into a job that doesn't make money. This city is so damn corporate, there's just no cheap DIY spaces to host events, and trying to do an illegal one is something everyone is afraid of because no one can get arrested without getting their source of income in trouble.
I'm doing all this soykaf, I have all these responsibilities I didn't think I was capable of having in school, and nothing seems to be working out. It feels like I'm fighting a fucking concrete wall at this point. And I can complain about how I wish I was a useless teen again, but I fucking hated it during that time too. And given I'd still be in this bullsoykaf city, I'd probably be in a worse position.
But, I have the house to myself this entire weekend, I have a gym membership, I have a couple of synths, and a week's supply of weed. I'm going to figure something out and think my way through this,
You must make the oath of the samurai:
recite every morning as soon as you wake up and every evening before you fall asleep.
I will never fall behind others in pursuing the way of the warrior.
I will always be ready to serve my lord.
I will honor my parents.
I will serve compationetly for the benefit of others.
Your so lucky! That must have been exciting!
Help arisu I feel like I'm getting dumber..
I was always extremely confident, creative and intelligent as a kid ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ but now that I'm in my early 20s I feel like that is all starting to grind to a halt.
Without going into to much detail I feel like my current job isn't mentally (or any other kind of) stimulating at all and I want to get a job in tech.
Since I work 40h a week my time is limited and I dont know where to start, I just want a tech job that's something I can learn and improve from while I work but i don't know if i have any qailifictions.
What entry level tech jobs could I train myself for in my spare time? Or just general other advice pls.
just go crazy, talk to yourself and think more.
Lie in your job application depending on your capacity in sysadmin
Start realizing your life is only starting and you won't die the last day of your 20s.
Realize that your time of empty fun days where you study what you want and play the rest of the day is over.
Entry level "stimulating" jobs are a dead end and will suck out the little motivation you have now so avoid this. There's no point in burning yourself right now to become a PHP code monkey. Instead, use the little time you have in your spare time to get really good at exactly what you want to. Realize that it's going to take years, maybe a decade.
Your twenties are a time of investment, use them well.
I've mentioned this before over on lainchan, but no one seems to respond, so I don't know whether people are tired of hearing it, but if you're not opposed to medicating yourself, you might try St. John's Wort, depending on whether it's available over the counter where you live. It seems to have had the expected effect on me and returned my motivation or perhaps even boosted it to previously unknown levels. I give no proof or guarantees, of course.
You don't have to get therapy to receive some of the benefits of therapeutic theory. Even reading the standard Wikipedia articles can expose you to new ways of thinking which could alleviate your symptoms. There is a cognitive theory of depression, you see. Some of it is considered "distorted" thought rather than chemical imbalance alone.
I suppose that's missing the point. You say that you aren't seeking a solution, not that you can't find one. I would suggest that you don't have a broad enough conception of what you are if you think depression defines you, but feel free to reject that idea if you like. What do you think you are? Note that I asked "what," not "whom." In the broadest sense, what metaphor or image do you rely on in attempting to understand your essence?
I haven't seen St. John's Wort on any markets or anywhere at where I live, but I can buy it's tea from the internet, thanks for the advice. I love drinking tea so I will actually give it a try.
I actually don't exactly think that depression defines me, but I think of it as a part (?) of me that I should never give up on, I guess. But like you said I actually don't have even an idea of what I am, I tried to think about it today very hard. It may not be kind of what you would expect from a question like that, I'm sorry if I didn't get it completely.
I think I'm a bridge between abstract and concrete. I think I'm the most advanced tool that my brain can use at it's most, to perform it's art. A tool that has a connection between with both things that ''exist'' and ''doesn't exist''.
And I personally think that depression only has to do with brain, I don't believe that such thing called ''soul'' exists. I'm just a tool that is living for possibilities. I can even say that depression is art, and can bring what's most important for the brain as in thoughts in long term. At least for me. And it’s really harmful at the same time.
You may pretty much think I'm actually dumb for thinking these, but that's pretty much it. I might even have gone crazy at this point because of mental issues and illnesses that was left untreated for at least 8 years.
Depression is a tool for me. But just like everything that exists it comes with quite serious side effects. Which a person may not be able to endure all the time. And that may have bad results, but taking risks is a part of it for me, even if I hate them. I live with it. I don’t like the idea of being ‘’happy’’ in any means.
These are my thoughts that I’ve come up with today but there are times that I think this is just a burden in the ass too lol. And I’m just having one of those times, It will get useful for me afterwards even if I get out of it damaged. And wow. This is long.
You would have to check it for purity and make sure that you get the recommended dosage for antidepressant results, but I suppose a tea is fine. I would warn you that it's apparently a popular herb for people to fake. Further, I doubt it would taste good. I should have said this before, but, from what I've gathered, it seems to essentially act as a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI) with some unusual traits. Increased sensitivity to sunlight is a noted side effect; some people have developed cataracts as a result. I suppose I can really only recommend it for short-term use to remind you of what it's like to experience a higher mood. In my case, I had essentially forgotten that I could feel better.>I think I'm a bridge between abstract and concrete.
That's pretty abstract. Perhaps you could bridge it into something more concrete so I could understand it? (Boy, I'm funny.) I'm not sure it matters whether I understand it, though, so long as you've put some thought into it. I suppose my larger thought was that we are beings that are capable of experiencing multiple moods, and so defining ourselves by those moods is to narrow our conceptions of what we are such that we lose an accurate picture of our essences. You are a broader being than depression. You aren't even a depression machine. Well, it sounds like you understand that, though. I certainly relate to the feeling that depression is somehow valuable.>And I personally think that depression only has to do with brain, I don't believe that such thing called ''soul'' exists.
Oh, don't misunderstand me. I didn't intend to suggest the existence of a soul. It's more like the relationship between hardware and software. From one perspective, hardware is just the ephemeral representation of Platonic software ideals. From another perspective, software is just an abstraction used to understand the physical behavior of hardware. The cognitive approach to depression just looks at the problem from the perspective of experienced/generated thought. That thought may well be no more than the product of chemical processes, but it's a different approach. Further, it seems that intentional alteration of one's thought patterns can also alleviate the symptoms of depression, working from within the system, so to speak. Perhaps this will explain it: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_distortion
.>You may pretty much think I'm actually dumb for thinking these, but that's pretty much it. I might even have gone crazy at this point because of mental issues and illnesses that was left untreated for at least 8 years.
You sound neither "dumb" nor "crazy" to me, stranger. Besides, scratch the surface of concepts of "intelligence" and "sanity," and you will see how flimsy their foundations are. I suggest that you don't rely on those lenses in viewing yourself.>Depression is a tool for me.
I'm glad to hear that you can see it that way. It seems that most sufferers perceive it as an oppressive force, circumstance, or even entity.>I don’t like the idea of being ‘’happy’’ in any means.
I wonder. There are forms of what is called "happiness" that differ from the dreaded ecstasy, more muted forms that may serve you well, just as you say depression does. I don't know whether you respect this individual as an artist, but David Lynch once said that an artist should be familiar with the experience of negative emotional states when creating but must be experiencing a more positive state in order to actually create. Perhaps you could keep a journal when you dive into your negativity. When you surface, the ideas should remain, if not the mood.>And wow. This is long.
I wouldn't say so. Language as we know it is not highly efficient. It takes many words to convey complex ideas. Choosing to limit the length of your posts may well limit the complexity that you can share, and then I'm not sure that I see the point in posting. Also, don't be afraid to ramble. Rambling is perhaps the most honest form of expression. Inner thought tends to take the form of a ramble.
>>2888>Perhaps you could bridge it into something more concrete so I could understand it?
To make it more concrete, my brain needs my body to make it’s thoughts or what it’s planning to do real. Which makes my thoughts ''abstract’' , and when my brain uses my body as a tool to make them into something that exists in a physical form (art) they become ‘’concrete’’. If you think too deep about this it becomes pretty nonsense so just think about it as simple as possible. I’m a person that lives for her art, so I think my physical existence is just a tool. Of course brain is a physical being too, but it can’t do anything without a bridge to become able to do actual things. In a nutshell you can think of a simple light bulb circuit. My body is the wires, and the power source is my brain. And the light bulb that can shine with a power source as the art that I make. Power source needs a conductor wire to transfer what it's capable of as a light source. When there are wires connected to both bulb and the power source, wires conduct the energy to the bulb, which makes the light bulb shine. And this means that the power source needs a conductor wire to achieve it's goal, which is the light bulb. I really can’t think of another way to make this more concrete. Abstract and concrete may not be the perfect words of choice to use for this as well, but I really couldn’t think of anything else that fits.
No, I think that makes sense. Thank you for explaining it to me. You sound like you have an interesting perspective on life. Without presuming to know too much about you or your situation, I think your friends are fortunate to know you and to have had the opportunity to have experienced your art. I hope everything works out for you.
Ive also heard suggestions that the doses for antidepression usually cited (like, 300mg/day iirc) can be pretty conservative. There's no harm trippling them and its quite possibly more effecatious that way.
(once upon a time I was depressed / suicidal, I'm not sure s.j.w. helped me but I used it in harmony with a bunch of things and eventually got out of it)
My parents are enabling my younger brother by letting him live in their house.
He's disrespectful to them, can't hold a job, never cleans up after himself.
He supposedly fell asleep in the shower and flooded the bathroom, causing water damage to the second story (this was RIGHT after my parents spent THOUSANDS of dollars to fix water damage in the same spot).
According to my other brother (who also lives with my parents), he's been saying things like "Not all KKK members are racist" and "The KKK hasn't commited any real crimes in recent years." Not only that but he has full access to guns and alcohol. Doesn't help the fact that we live in the conservative Southern US so he practically lives in an echo chamber if he finds the right people.
He's becoming some sort of incel.
I'm going to talk to my parents about this soon, but I'm afraid that nothing will change because they don't want to see their precious little gift end up on the streets.
I'm also a little afraid that they might defend his statements, and at that point I don't know what I'd do.
the 8chan demise means we're all gonna get trapped in this topic of freedom of expression like the freedom of expression of these fascists mattered. There are already like 3 or 4 threads regarding this topic here, and they were obviously brought by people that were on 8 chan or on the same page and already contain racist references, when it's not already explicit. I really really hope these incels morons wont end up here because considering our numbers they'll be very quick to ruin this place and then it'll be yet again a less interesting internet to connect to.
Why do people enjoy traveling I will never understand. It's so stressful.
This new political strain confuses me. In the past, ultraconservative views would be seen as incompatible with being an idiotic adult dependent. Your brother would be lumped in with the other so-called subhumans or as a last ditch, be kicked out of the house and sent off to have the army "make a man out of him". But yeah, the internet alllows you to find support for any ideology. No matter how ridiculous, someone will always tell you you're right.
I need to rant for a moment:
across culture throughout the usa theres what I'd call a anti cultural zeitgeist where in the midst of.
Discoveries and art are still being made, but it's more like tiny little sparks here and there amongst a culture that's embraces not just the distant past but the immediate past even!
90s kids this, 80 music that, our president wants to go back to the 50s. Despite historically speaking theres plenty of evidence to the contrary the fashion industry supposedly runs in cycles, hundereds of celebrations for the aniversary of all these dead creatives
Of the past while we dont put nearly the attention or admiration on the living creators of today. Endless Hollywood wood remakes and sequels. Now whats considered an innovative story is taking the same soykaf we've seen a thousand times before and putting a slightly different spin on it, viola! what innovation! Enjoy seeing the same soykaf over and over forever.
The world cant change fast enough for me!
I hope others are am mad as I am, i will change things no matter what.
>>2953>90s kids this, 80 music that, our president wants to go back to the 50s.
I think you're being charitable there. Most of the western world's political leadership seems hell-bent on a return to the Gilded Age.
Conservatives always liked to talk soykaf but never lived up to their romantic ideals. Their whole ideology basically boils down to "pls don't change things it scares me", of course letting their kid live off of them is perfectly in line with their deranged worldview.
The West wants to freeze the world to its happy end, 1991 and the fall of the Soviet Union, confirming 1945 and the fall of the Axis block.
When you say you want the future, do you mean you want neon hair bought one dollar thanks to Chinese labor or do you accept that Humanity's course continues, that the US will lose their relatively short cultural impact, that China will get Hong-Kong back the way it wants, or that Israel will get the boot for disregarding the UN and overall civilization no matter how much Krav-Maga or Inglorious Bastards?
Oh yeah also, TV is the past while the GAFA is our current future.
From what I've seen, cyberpunk is reappropriating dated aesthetics conveniently purged by time of their cultural or political dilemmas.
Culture is recursing and fragmenting like some fractal.
You see the recursion pretty clearly with memes. A meme is a reference to previous instances of the same meme. 90% of the enjoyment of a meme is just the feeling of "I get that reference." Sure, you get a chuckle the first time, but the power comes from the fact that it gets stronger with repetition rather than weaker like most jokes.
The fragmentation may be more serious. Instead of conversations we have isolated posts and tweets. Memes are fragments of culture rather than complete stories. Attention spans are getting too short for the comfortable reading of books. Social groups are becoming disconnected, everyone in their own little echo bubble.
I don't know where this process ends but it seems to be accelerating. Perhaps we each isolate ourselves into our own unique world. Or maybe the loops become zero size and we get a moment of cultural introspection.
>>2953> Now whats considered an innovative story is taking the same soykaf we've seen a thousand times before and putting a slightly different spin on it, viola! what innovation! Enjoy seeing the same soykaf over and over forever.
You're free to ignore it. Meanwhile there is a golden age of independent media happening. Creative people with ideas who 20 years ago would have been relegated to community theatre or a local writer's circle can now crowdfund their projects and make interesting films. If you ive in a big city or somewhere with a lot of students, you should benefit from a small cinema that will show some of them. If not, like me for instance, you can get them online.
There is no reason to give a soykaf about the latest Marvel film if it doesn't interest you. The entertainment press has usually ignored quality art since it had existed anyway.
Everything is boring, I can't get myself to to anything. I used to spend my countless hours on my computer and now I can't sit on that chair for more than 2 hours without feeling bored, tired and not feeling like doing anything. I don't know, maybe I'm bored of my current life style as a neet. I want to be better, to achieve things and have a balanced life with different activities and hobbies but it's hard to get because I'm broke and my parents are poor as dirt. I'm afraid of the outside world, afraid of people and Society. I know some o you will tell me to "man up" and "just go out bro" but I'd have already done it if it was that simple and easy. I can't help but think about how miserable my life has become and it feels like I'm losing tiny pieces of my soul day after day. I totally can't enjoy anything anymore, no matter how many times I fap, play vidya, watch anime.. You name it, none of these make me feel better although they used to be my main methods of escapism. I want to get into instruments but I'm too poor to afford any but it's fine because I don't deserve my life and I don't want it.
How rich and developed is your country?