/feels/ - personal experiences

since i couldn't empathize with others i hurt someone that i shouldn't have. now i'm stuck knowing this person hates me, that i acted selfishly. I could've done so much more only had I realized my own importance in unimportance. Taking responsibility was/is painful. Im seen by most people as being a depressed narcissist or sociopath. Due to this I don't want to get to know anyone as i'm afraid i'll hurt whomever. Neither do I want to search again because i never stopped loving another. Even though it was never reciprocal the feeling just wont stop. Trying again, making friends again. would mean everything i felt or did before was a lie. I'm tired and fearful of behaving dishonestly in manner. Because of this there is no hope of a way out and worse yet i put myself in this position. With all the things i could complain about i realize i put myself in this position. I never gave enough well enough or without expectations i think, but i really cant identify what's wrong with me. Anti social. The only solace i feel is knowing eventually I will not feel this way one way or the other. With that i realize It's just emotion. It will go away. Maybe if i live long enough and work hard enough I'll actually be happy somewhere, one day. There really is nothing more I can ask for.