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/feels/ - personal experiences

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Help me fix this shit.

Kalyx ######

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I am really stressing out over this.

There is so much I want to study, but there isn't enough time in my life for me to work on all of the projects that I want to. I want to study electrical engineering and design circuits for communications equipment, I want to study computer engineering and work on developing the next big processor architecture(s), I want to study computer science and work on the cutting edge of algorithm development, I want to study genetics and mess around with gene splicing and gene editing, I want to study physics and understand how our universe is made and operates on the atomic level, I want to study chemistry and mess around with synthesizing compounds and developing new materials.

Von Neumann was a brilliant polymath, and even he didn't get in depth into such a wide area of subjects. I can't decide which of my aspirations to cut off to allow me to feasibly follow those remaining. Man this sucks.


same. a lot of the most successful smart people had their dreams come true by being sheltered and having an abundance of study material.
for me, I try not to look up to church, turing, einstein, neumann. they're just like equals.
there aren't as many outlets for us, otherwise you get pseudos like jordan peterson.
we have the most success at revolution and influence.
Keep your head up!


why do you want to know so much?


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You dont have to be a master at everything to learn about it. You can have one main area of focus, and still be able to learn about other things. Obviously, you wont be able to dedicate the same amount of time to everything, but you should probably just come to terms with that considering we all have a finite amount of time here.


Thanks, that instills some confidence in me.


Maybe instead of studying all of these separately, find something they are all based on, understand that, and when you do all of these will seem like just sub-fields of what you already know and work on. Epistemology and maths. That is, if you want to know.

If you want to do, you're the kind of lost little lamb I'm not good at helping with


I've felt this too OP. In my particular case I could make a selection of some disciplines in which I would like to develop to varying extents, where the constant is that I want to develop each progressively.
My constraints are with resources and time. I dislike having to work, and having work take up so much of the energy I could be devoting to this sort of self-development. And having to worry about having a job in the first place. I feel like I willingly put myself in the rat race and now I can't seem to escape it. I put myself in the city and now I can't quite get out as I have made some alliances.
I have to sort through this "adult life" which I believe is mere mirage, pulling us away from that which we aim for and forcing us to focus on the most primal of urges: that of survival. Though the lie is glaringly obvious, the way out not so much so. We are taught to fear our own capability of self reliance, instead we are sent after the will of the wisp of economical dependence, wherein no matter how much we work we are neversatisfied, we always have little time and little energy; the continuous struggle of modern existence. There is barely any time for what's really important, instead we are dragged towards conformity: keep your job, be happy that you're employed, or aim for a better job while you're always wasting your time at it, always anxious about keeping it.
Back to the actual question, I try to find those skills that I would like to develop most, and to try to find the resources to do so best. But as the fan of possible skills unwinds before me I have a hard time actually picking what's best, and allocating my resources (in this case: time for the most part) is the hardest part. Deep inside what I want is to be able to develop skills that are economical in most senses. I think I have an idea of those which I am inclined to for the most part, yet a big challenge in this ordeal is to actually have the discipline and clarity of mind to actually put myself to the task and cast the world out to deal with it as a separate issue.
I don't know if any of this makes sense, tl;dr I just need to find the set of skills with which to "identify" myself of sorts, kind of like finding the Way in this world of chaos.
Modern life is a disease.


The feeling went away once I stoped thinking about time. Working on something helped. On top of that in one of Johnathan Blow's streams ( he mentioned that despite programming as a kid, he started actually working on something serious only at the age of twenty-four, which definitely boosted my self-confidence.

For me, knowledge without practical usage goes to waste, so I always take it one day at a time. Simple examples: I wouldn’t have learned HTML, CSS and JavaScript if I didn’t need to make a web site front end; I wouldn’t have learned FFmpeg if I didn’t need to process video files; I wouldn’t have learned Emacs if I didn’t need a powerful text editor. And the list goes on.


Huh that makes a lot of sense. Thanks


> at the age of twenty-four
I'm running out of time! Help, how do I apply myself?


I just read a story of a farmer who forgot to properly secure the door to his barn, allowing the cows to wander outside. They found their way to the food stores, and ate in one day the meal which was supposed to last the entire winter. Half of the cows died, and the other half could no longer produce milk.

We exist both as physical and rational beings. Our physical selves have appetites which must be moderated, and our rational selves are no different. I have the same problem as you OP. The sheer volume of information online, and the immensity of the universe, is exciting and overwhelming. I still don't think I've come to terms with it, but I try to savor my own insignificance/transience, and live contentedly, knowing that any day might be my last. I try to appreciate the sound of trees, the warmth of the sun, the frozen beauty of winter, and I try to live by the same philosophy in my online life, as well.

Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.


That's a nice tip.

Yeah we can never know the entirety of the universe so it's better to stick with a few things that interest you. It's good to remember that it's just data and no matter how far you explore the universe you can never run from yourself.


>I wouldn’t have learned Emacs if I didn’t need a powerful text editor.
you would've learned vim if you needed a powerful text editor;P

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