/feels/ - personal experiences

I made a new friend today!

I moved in with my boyfriend recently.

Before him I never had a so-called serious relationship, and I was worried about jumping into this sort of thing too quickly, worried that doing it at all would be a mistake, even. And throughout our time together I've been off and on worried about things just going sour.

Yet the reality is: things are great. I can't recall the last time I was this happy. Especially for this long a time. Fears and worries still dance through my mind, but in any analysis I can make, things are going very well, and without sign of changing.

Maybe this demonstrates my naivete. I hope not.

I got promoted, Im doing well in school as always,Im talking and opening up to my mom more, and I got over being dumped and having to see my ex and her new boyfriend during work, and can feel like me and am working to make myself better and towards my goals (working out daily, putting in more hours ect). Im happy now but what makes me happy and excited the most is the future and working towards it. Whether its daydreaming about the life I want or the person I want to be, working hard to make that a reality brings me the most joy in life.

Life is pretty comfy right now

I had a change of mindset that helped me get over something bad in the past that was bothering me more recently than when it happened, and it seems to have spurred me on into trying to better myself in other ways.

>>1339
I learned to let go. I think I can learn to be happier for now.
I also helped someone. Helping people makes me feel nice.

It snowed recently, so I'm always in a good mood when I wake up in the mornings and look out the window.

I've been making breakthroughs in therapy, getting really good grades, learning to get over the past, and trying to find happiness in new reliable people. things have been pretty rough but I'm finally finding hope for brighter days.

I played a really wonderful solo piece on flute last night. If anyone knows of Carnaval of Venise, I played some of it for a recital. And I really loved it.

i learned some new skateboard tricks
made me very happy

Watching your favorite comedic YouTuber always gets my mind out of the gutters.

>>1499
If i'm feeling bad, it just makes me feel like a lazy piece of trash for not doing anything productive.

Baked beans and buttered bread.

I started going for walks. It made me feel like my brain is working better and overall I just feel more fresh now. I also started fighting againts my base urges to just watch anime, fap and play vidya games all day. I feel happy because it looks like my life finally is going somewhere. I hope that it's not already too late.

>>1504
Walks are good, I should go more frequently.

>>1504
>>1505
used to go for walks all the time
ill start again

>>1506
If you're too shy to run outside, subscribe to a gym and run on the treadmill there, it feels even better than running imo

I'm joining the army, and for the first time in a while, i feel happy that my future is clear

>>1503
With melted cheese on top?

>>1504
>>1505
>>1506

I went out for a walk yesterday and couldn't get over the feeling of people watching me from their car windows. The fresh air and being outside was refreshing though, just somewhat anxiety-inducing.

Finding this place

>>1569
o god i'm so unsatisfied with it.
what do you like about it so much?

>>1572

It has potential. This place has a character to it, and it's still small enough that it won't shatter my Dunbar number. I'm sure it has its problems and issues, but there's an energy here that hasn't been fully tapped into.

>>1543
Just go somewhere where there are few people. Because I'm living in the countryside I'm just going to the forest in the near mountains.

Anybody knows this feel where you're probably so starved of social interaction that even smallest things bring you joy and give you hope? Like a normalfag probably experiences this 50x in a day. A normalfag girl probably 100-200x in a day. But for me this is fuel for like days.

>>1588
Like all these small things, and I dont think this is over-analyzing it though I'm sure people might see it as such. You get a sense of it being symbolical, some stuff, like signs, like oh surely this is a sign from heavens, so go, act on it.

Like experiencing this soul-crushing feeling of being a lonely loser that you go out, take a taxi to go to a bar district, but you pop into a store to get cigs and a can of beer to predrink a bit, and meeting a schoolmate whom you havent seen in like years and years, and you're sitting in that cab and thinking wow surely this is a sign that I'm doing something right.
Or a girl who shares an activity with you adding you on a messenger out of the blue.
For us socially-starved God's lonely men this is really something difficult. It's like you trained yourself, disciplined yourself, largely unwillingly probably though haha, to this spartan social life. And then smallest things, that are probably disregarded and that are probably negligible for all those other people, give you hope. Nothing usually grows out of those though, but the hope is there still. Weird, we probably have less reasons than most to have hope, but it's there. It's like life is a parent who likes other kids much more than you, and you still look up to it or some soykaf.

Hmm… The warmth of my closest friend comes to mind. The safety and peace that comes with it. Sleeping in late alongside them.


Off the top of my head , these are thoughts which make me feel happy , Lain.

Choosing the hard right over the easy wrong.

Passed on hanging out with friends during an event I was looking forward to because I found out an acquaintance was suffering from the loss of a family member and decided to hang out with them instead. Found out everyone has been avoiding them since the loss, and that what this person needed more than anything was company.

I have poked holes in my schedule for the next month so I can spend more time with them, like 2-3 times a week.

It makes me happy because I feel like many of us are looking to make a difference somewhere that matters. To me, seeing someone suffering, and actually being able to make a difference (we are all familiar with those helpless situations where a friend is in a bad way and we can't do anything to make it better) brings me more joy than anything I could do for myself.

I was successful in improving an online friend's overall mood by helping him meet new people on a new discord server, we were both in a private server with two of his irl friends with me being the only online friend, needless to say it became a cesspool of negativity for a while and I suggested we'd both secretly find a different server to hang out in. He has been apart of a few servers beforehand that aligned with his interests (He's a military enthusiast) but to my knowledge he wasn't personally attached to those servers as much as he is now to his new home server. At first he didn't like the server i picked out (A weeb server) because of how cringe worthy the members were, but what really made the difference in him staying was me constantly telling him to give them a chance and that it will all be worth it if he got past their embarrassing side of their personality, which did eventually pay off in the end. Now he has been the happiest lad I have ever known, he even met a girl serving in the military on this server that became his girlfriend, unfortunately tho she had to leave because of personal/family issues going on in her life which of course did dampen his mood for a while but now he has a plethora of new friends he talks to and plays video games with, hell he was even given ownership of the discord server because of how tightly-knit he became with the previous owner.

I am very grateful that I was able to make a lasting, positive impact on someone's life who doesn't even know who I am or how I look like. I always thought that I would never be able to make a positive difference in my entire life but it turns out I have proven myself wrong.
A shame that it will probably be the first and only grand achievement I will ever have.

Cheers everyone, here's hoping that every single one of you will have the chance to lead a successful and euphoric life.

>>1339
To improve myself.
To improve my lifestyle.
To crush my enemies.
To never surrender.
To be truly fearless.

>>1676
…and to hear the lamentation of the women.

>what are the happy things in life?
The only thing that truy makes me happy is when I learn new things, or gain a deeper understanding of things where I already have some knowledge. In fact, intimate understanding of a subject is my aim in life.

>what good things have happened recently?
I was able to help my SO with her work so she can relax a bit.

>what helps alice keep going when things are hard?
Knowing that I can always learn from my experiences and try to do better next time.

For the past 3 months since I moved away from my hometown and family I've been plagued by a spell of pure anger and constant feeling of judgement and disappointment. I wouldn't go to sleep, instead I'd stay away til mid day and let my mind crash from exhaustion. I didn't know what to do.

My mom sent me a message, it's a little personal but she basically told me she misses me but she was happy I got away from our mess of a family and no matter what she will always be proud of me.

Days after that I got a decent job at a respectable store. My sleep somewhat is better and I don't hate myself or feel like im disappointed someone

>>1339

Music

I recently started taking klonopin again, as well as doubled my intake of a mild SSRI (still a low dose) and my day-to-day anhedonia and anxiety has nearly vanished. I can't attest all of my progress to this change, but it's certainly a large component of it. I ended an unhealthy relationship around three months ago, and started going to Co-Dependents Anonymous and seeing my therapist again. I made a conceited effort to curb my alcoholism (a habit I picked up to deal with the stress of the aforementioned relationship), and that has been entirely successful. The GABAergic effects of the klonopin have made this pretty easy so far, and though I know it's a bad idea, I still enjoy an ounce of whisk(e)y once or twice a week.

I've given up my hikki ways and started meeting new people. I have friends now, which is an entirely new thing to me. I'm starting to really engage my passions again. I'm living in the moment, for the first time in my life.

Alice, you can be happy, and you can feel safe. There's always a way to get there.

If you're reading this, I'm terribly sorry. I hope you're still alive. You deserve to be happy, but I can't make that happen. I wasn't ready for love. I'm sorry.

> what helps alice keep going
Alcohol.

>>1681
If the only thing that makes you happy is gaining knowledge than why have an SO? Why is she not just your research partner or something? There must be something else about your relationship that brings you joy.

>>2077
Is love anything but an intimate understanding, Alice?

>what good things have happened recently?
I know it's not much (or anywhere near as cool or impactful as other's experiences), but I've had a huge change in perspective! (I won't bore with details)

My happy things, have been the recent kind words of encouragement from people that I never thought cared! It's a wonderful feeling to know that there are real people who'd go out of their way to talk to you and help you.

testing anonamionity

>>1393
It snows heavy right now and it will be even harder tomorrow. Wandering around city through snowy city is peak comfy feeling

>>1339
just working on music and biking around its really fun/relaxing lol

No matter how bad things get I always have this place to call home. To the lurkers who are reading this. There are many. You are not alone.