No.1317
I want her to come back. This would require the erasure of a certain international border first though.
No.1327
>>1313I guess to just be understood. Or to be able to allow myself to be understood by others. I want to be honest about everything. Baby steps I suppose.
No.1332
>>1313I want her. But I'm to shy to even talk to her.
No.1333
i want passion, i want control, i want will, i want experience and knowledge
No.1334
Money and power. So I can fulfil all my megalomaniacal desires and insure nobody gets to push theirs on me.
Illouminat pls recruit me.
No.1335
to feel content.
the one feeling i can't achieve, next to happiness.
what would make me feel content?
i have no idea.
No.1337
>Find land.
>Buy land.
>find a woman
>get married
>get drumset
>play drums
No.1338
I want to see.
Not just your 'travel around and see places' sense, though. I want to see everything that is and isn't. I want to see the connections between all subsets of everything, every abstraction layer on their own, in groups, and the whole picture with all the layers. I want to see as in 'understand', as in 'feel', as in 'wonder', as in 'dream', as in 'remember', as in 'spectate'. I do not only wish to gain a higher and fuller perspective, I want to gain small ones too; I want to spectate the lives of people I know from inside their head, see their field of vision, think their thought-space, feel like i'm making the decisions they make, without any sense of the actual me; while the actual me is gaining these memories. Same with animals, AI, oceans, stars, concepts. I want to be the thing that is, or can become, anything (incl everything and nothing).
No.1341
To feel understood.
No.1342
The death of my father.
No.1343
I want to do good things and make good memories. I want my parents to feel that their efforts in raising me were worth it, that everyone who invests their time and money on me gets what they deserve in return.
No.1345
>>1342Yeah. Fuck him.
What did he do?
No.1350
I wish i could give to her a fraction
of what she gave me.
No.1355
I really can't think of one.
I would like to have endless supplies of pure diamorphine and dmt pumped into my bloodstream at all times until i die.
No.1356
for her to care that i exist
also to be more productive i guess
No.1362
>>1327>>1341those
It feels like there is "me" and then there are "others", and there is a giant, invisible wall between us.
No.1367
>>1362Not just a wall. It's a paywall.
No.1368
To accept myself as I am.
No.1391
Love
No.1392
It's very hard to say for myself. I want to finish studying but it is something I desire? My dream in life would be a person who loves and accepts me as I am and whom I can share a beautiful relationship. That is what I would say in the moment yet what I really desire is happiness and I guess that having such a person in my life would increase my happiness by a ton
No.1441
I want to do something profound.
No.1446
A well paying job that I enjoy, a quality partner, and excitement.
No.1553
At this point I just want things to work, I want thing to keep working and for things to go right.
I feel so frustrated that I cant manage at the moment. I feel so lost today, I hope its only for today.
No.1554
To understand and be chaos
No.1555
I want to live for free in a tiny comfy house, and to ride a motorbike in the nights, and watch my japanese animes lying wrapped in blankets, drinking herbal tea, and to not be disturbed by anybody.
That's on "what do you want" part.
The deepest desire is different thing entirely.
To die, maybe.
The death is the ultimate answer to everything.
No.1556
I want to accept my life as it is and be able to interact with people, make friends and ask this girl out, alternatively i'd like to die and be reincarnated as an anime girl.
No.1557
I've never felt any sort of deepest/burning/… desire. Feeling that kind of thing would be nice.
No.1563
That's a very good question.
I don't know. So far I haven't really figured that out.
No.1567
I take a look at the absolute state of my environment, and I am so, so soul crushingly dissapointed. What I desire most right now, what I actively work towards, is etching a place in the world where I feel I belong. Where I don't feel like an outsider, and where I can really take a good look at my surroundings and not be disappointed in anyone; not in my neighbor, not in society or our culture, and not in myself.
It might sound strange but I've achieved a sort of unrelenting, unyeilding positive attitude from this. It was born from the fact that everything is invariably going to get better, and I am going to succeed in making the world a better place. Either that, or I'll die. But, because life without my success in this area is meaningless to me, so to is a premature death. All I can see are positive outcomes, I either create a place I want to live or I stop living. It's the perfect position, and honestly I cannot express how liberating it feels. Look forward to the revolution.
Book unrelated.
No.1568
>>1567>I am going to succeed in making the world a better place. Should note here that I really mean, making the world a better place
for me No.1571
>>1557>>1563This, basically.
I always find it curious when people talk about it, so alien to me.
No.1591
>>1390omg that pic… I knew what that was immediately.
No.1593
true love, i don't have anyone to hug …
No.1923
>>1327Write a autobiography 1st for yourself then for release. Even if you cannot publish it you could post it as a .pdf or .epub file on here for example.
No.1927
To be able to work hard and relax a lot.
No.1933
>>1593this. i dont want anything else.
No.1939
>>1933>>1593you have yourself.
No.1951
i want people to tell me how they really see me. i feel like everyone around me always gives me an uplifting image because of how nice i am.
No.1956
I want to know the solution. Everything has one answer.
How was the universe created?
Is there a higher power?
What comes after death?
Is everybody connected?
What is the point in living?
Why can't humans escape the cycle of history?
etc.
Many more questions to be asked. But they all have the same solution. I just need the puzzle pieces to put them together. There is some reason for existence. Mankind's destiny is to find out this truth. We eventually will, that's fine. But that will happen much later. And I want to know the solution now.
No.1965
To have a desire
No.1967
somebody to hold my soul in the dark
No.2006
I just want to learn. Sadly, the most interesting knowledge is still out of reach.
No.2007
>>1932Please clarify what you have that's so rare.
No.2008
>>1313I don't know if I want to prove myself right, or prove everyone else wrong.
But at this point, I'd like to actually have something that I want again- because I've been completely empty for a long time.
No.2047
More time…
There is a lot of books to see, read and learn.
There is a lot of movies to watch and enjoy.
There is a lot of places to travel, live and remember.
There is a lot of things to make and share.
There is a lot of emotions to explore.
Also the required time to meet someone who loves you back.
And so little time because of job, problems, money, duties and needs.
No.2048
I want a calm life.
> small house out in the boonies
> steady but undemanding job that pays the bills and then some
> someone nice to enjoy it with
I want a baseline that's the same every day. With consistency comes freedom. The knowledge of exactly what I can afford and what you can't. The ability to make plans for something special months in advance and expect to stick to them, as opposed to this life where every day is fucked in a different direction and I have no idea what will be happening in a few weeks. The time and presence of mind to cook a respectable supper at the end of the day. The days properly off to pursue a real hobby. The times when I can shut off the rest of the world and sincerely dedicate myself to someone.
I'm tired of living my life one day at the time. All I want is to be able to lie down in bed at the end of the day and know where I'll be in a week, a month, a year.
No.2065
I had a weird before-sleep dream (I was not in control but not yet completely asleep, I could hear things from my room and occasionally feel the texture of my bed). In this dream I was standing in a completely black void. I was barefoot, standing on nothing; it was firm, and mildly warm to the touch. My arms weren't covered, and I held a huge (let's say horse-sized) heart in my hand. It was still beating, and was rainbow colored with most vivid colors, the stuff Samsung would advertise its newest LED TVs with. From the various cleanly cut veins, warm rainbow colored blood was flowing out, covering my hands and arms and dripping down my elbows. I really, really wanted to eat this thing as I intuitively knew that it held omnipotence. I took a bite. It was very difficult, I had to viciously try for my teeth to go through so I can tear a piece off. The blood tasted like liquid candy. I had a few more bites, licked my left hand while dropping the heart my right as I didn't need it anymore. I suddenly felt sleepy and somewhat bored. As an omnipotent being I really had nothing lest to do, it was pointless to stay awake or conscious any more. I just lay down on the warm black void and fell asleep - at which point I opened my eyes IRL instead of falling asleep.
I really want a few more bites now.
No.2066
>>2065sounds interesting, tell us more if you ever have the dream again :)
No.2067
>>2066That one happened a year ago. I had the same dream again but with a vastly longer and different plot where basically every detail differs except me eating rainbow omnipotence. I can't remember if this was also a before-sleep dream, or if I just woke up 20-40 minutes after falling asleep to write it down. Here goes:
It started out with me being an overworked, but engaged student. I was lost and felt even more lost in this huge city where I didn't know what was where, which bus I needed or anything really. I was talking to a girl from my class on which buses to take to the mandatory evening test, but before leaving I needed to eat. I ordered pizza but for some reason I couldn't figure out my address or find some other solution, so we agreed that i'll order it for hers and she'll bring it to the test. After making the order I realized there was some food at home so I ate, I really needed that food. My room… imagine some 7-10 meter diameter orbs of black solidified tar, and between one ball and two on the side was a little valley, dug or carved out. That was the room/house, it had a roof on top and walls so it was safe from weather. I had a desk with a computer, a bed, some containers to keep clothes and belongings in; sink, toilet and a shower carved into the wall somewhere. That was it, pretty small but livable for students. When I was ready to go I caught some bus, then a tram, metro, another bus and luckily they were the right ones so I eventually got there.
I arrived in this huge underground school/psychology test facility with comfortable sofas, very low desks, a nicely carpeted floor and lots of tools for creative self-expression. We had to answer questions in cooperation regarding a magical math subject I almost forgot existed, making me very nervous as I could barely answer the simplest questions. Eventually we had to move on onto another area, where the floor was made of sturdy layers of metal and people were doing a form of ritualistic research. At this point a feeling of threat emerged, existence by itself wasn't safe anymore. People would form these circles of 3-5 and engage in a ritual to get their minds into the true level/form of the world while their bodies remained mostly intact regardless of what happened with their minds. In this deeper level there were signs of vampiric creatures, both humanoid and animal, as if it was a plague that spread. They eventually became massively overpowered and very hard to stop in their rampage. Damage done to people in the mind-world started to show outside, eventually it became so dire that people would have their bodies torn apart in the real world when caught by vampires in their mind. It also seemed like the vampires would start to surface in the real world, and even attempting the ritual was risking your life. I did so with a teacher I trusted and was confident in his skills but even before we could begin we lost the third person in the circle, so I just bailed out.
Deep down I felt this quiet panic where you don't tell anyone where you go or why, but leave them behind for the calamity, so at least you have a chance to escape. By the time I exited the building the world reverted from city with buses and concrete buildings into a mountainous woods with lots of open grassy areas and a sense of magic. I started to climb the hill near me and saw that someone else is also on the run, I also felt that we are being chased by at least one flying vampire, but luckily it was uninterested in us or caught the other guy. The climb was hard, closer to vertical than horizontal at places but I eventually got to the other side of the hill. There was a small river there which I followed upstream, found a cave entrance and went in. It was a long but narrow passage that led through a mountain and surfaced near another river. This place felt different, very pure and natural, almost fairytale-like. The riverbed was covered in grass and there was nothing hostile around, not even the bugs or plants would do any harm or cause inconvenience. I noticed a friend, a buddhist monk-like dude I knew from school and we had an understanding that we came here to hunt a spirit of the river.
These spirits were hard to see, most people passed them by without ever noticing. You needed a sort of spiritual insight to perceive them - this was the truest form of intelligence, intuitive and deep, of which the rituals I mentioned before provided only feeble imitations of. We both were from a prominent school and unlike most people who went there for the prestige or to get rich afterwards, we actually sought to understand the big idea the place was about. After the years spent there we were able to notice signs of the damn spirit, although we could not see it. We followed its trail around as it tried to keep its distance from us, but by some miraculous luck my mate managed to grab one of its… long things? Now that it was physically restrained a bit, we could see its form which was a mixture of lobster, clam, octopus, fish and other sea-things. It was generally lanky and making a hell of a struggle, and the only way we could keep a hold on it was running along. It spanned several meters and could twist and turn in many ways. Eventually my mate found a very good grip, and without hesitation (as this was probably the only chance) I grabbed my katana and tried to cut it open (I didn't even knew I had one until now). It was risky as it can only be killed with perfect cuts. If I mess up, I might cut off parts that my pal is holding, and the creature will quickly escape and regenerate without problem once its hidden. Still, I somehow managed to pierce its shell and hit where it matters, and instantly felt the effects.
The river spirits were absolutely pacific. Whoever killed them inherited the insight within them, as I just learned. The world definitely felt different. I was insecure, then outright scared in the beginning of the dream because of the city and the vampires terrified me - even half a dozen of my teachers would have been unable to stop one. Now the fear was gone, but so was my interest in stopping them. My friend was staring at me weirdly, so the changes might have had some visible signs. I signaled that I was okay and that we had to kill another one. He agreed as he also sought insight; but getting this one was way easier, as to me the weird lobster-clam-octopus-fish creature now looked like snails, small and trivial to grab. I could easily crush their shells by hand, but I let my friend kill it with the katana while holding it in my hand. I wasn't afraid of cuts anymore. Once the spirit died my friend also "arrived". He felt like he needed to dwell in this state for a while to understand everything, while I felt a strong instinct commanding me to kill more of these disgusting but… delicious snails. I quickly found another one and broke open its shell, carved out what was inside and ate it. It was a bit sickening, but also felt like a higher purpose. I started to see even more of them, in fact there were several in my field of vision by now. They had human-like faces now, radiating pacifism and innocence. I grabbed another one and it spoke through a voice in my head asking me to put it down and not devour it like I did its friend, but in an eerily calm manner. I said I had to eat it, which it acknowledged and positioned itself in a way that I can crack its shell without hurting it much. It simply died when I opened the shell and passed its insight to me, without the need to consume it. I think I ate this one still, but not the rest.
As things progressed, the snails became even more cooperating and friendly, and the process eventually started to feel… sexy? I wasn't killing things anymore, just merging with them. Their faces looked like they enjoyed it. After eight of them in total the world changed again. The need to get more disappeared completely, and I clearly had a sort of video game GUI element showing me that I had eight of some… eye. The sense of being lost or afraid that followed me throughout the dream was completely gone. Even after the first spirit I felt like I could deal with vampires, but now they seemed like mosquitoes that avoid you by miles and thus aren't even harmful. I didn't really feel stronger, instead things seemed to fall in place, a certain narrative that nothing could resist. I returned to where my room was in the beginning and the place was now a tiny fisher village with wooden plank houses, it was infested by a few weak warlocks. Everyone was moving comically slowly and their misery also seemed comical, not worthy of attention. I did notice however that even though I came on a rather long route - public transport, long walks in the facility, my escape and then the cave - the river of spirits was connected with this town almost immediately. I realized that if I would reincarnate (which was now a skill I had), I could use this route to gain the same eight eyes even faster and become a being even more wired up with everything. The snails I ate would return to the river and I would get to know another eight of them without any of the hassle. I believe I did so, as the dream was cut in half by this point, probably by my suicide (I didn't need tools either, I just decided to die and I was).
No.2068
Sorry for littering the thread with
>>2065 and
>>2067 but I figured they're sort of relevant as they both express this mania-level desire for omnipotence.
No.2069
No.2078
I want my online friends to be okay. A lot of them are schizophrenic or disabled or both. I'd gladly take on their pain to see them smile. I also want to hold someone I deeply, truly love in my arms. And finally, to become a girl.
No.2145
To help those around me.
To be loved.
No.2149
Other than fixing the world to make it a better place, such as global justice and curing an old friend's terminal cancer; just for myself I truly want to be able to better connect and socialise with people, as it has become frustratingly difficult for me over the last 4 years or so. I desire to be valued and recognised, to connect on a deep human connection with people without such people connecting with me out of conditions such as family or old school friends.
No.2150
A lot of money, so I don't have to work and can buy anything I like. Too bad I'm stuck for life doing low wage manual labor. I don't have any professional or social aspirations.
No.2154
>>1330But you've got that already, Alice.
No.2155
>>1313I want to be admitted to a certain top university in the US. However as an international student with a lack of money that dream slowly diminishes itself into a statistically impossible chance. A dream that isn't possible but yet I strive for it blindly with a mindset like that of an ignorant fool.
No.2157
>>2155Why would you want to go to SJWistan? I assume it's one of the big universities, so you'd basically go to a competetive, toxic student loan farm with high quality equipment and great professors hiding from the noise. A strange dream indeed.
No.2160
>>2155if you are serious then the only costs to worry about are applications and prerequisite tests (the GRE, which I did for example). i got a free ride through college in the States and it was a blast.
No.2173
>>2157Because there are things you can't learn reading imageboards and watchhing anime.
No.2174
>>2157>SJWistanThis isn't /pol/, friend.
No.2175
>>1313 i would say just doing what i love and always have collecting, cassettes, vinyls and retro games e.g. other than i don't really need much from life at the moment.
No.2178
I want everything.
No.2179
>>2174I've never been there, and I don't discuss politics (as it's for retarded people - a quality I sadly lack). I just read lainchan and sometimes see second-hand posts about SJW bullsoykaf and it's always the US, which leads me to believe it's a third world country with a good economy. I also don't get all those people trying to immigrate there, why would they want to? There's nothing there, just high prices, low wages in comparison and insanity on all sides.
So you're from /pol/, eh? You don't seem so bad, just keep yourself contained.
No.2180
>>2155>>2179> Donald Trump, president of SJWistan….seems a tad ridiculous, nay?
there are many types of people in this country, including sjws and the kkk.
>low wages in comparisonit depends on what you compare to.
most places have much lower wages.
also, a lot of them do it so their children can get rich,
even if they're not going to be making much as an unskilled labourer.
No.2181
>>2179I am not from /pol/. I have nothing but contempt for /pol/.
No.2182
>>2180>>2180>>2180>There's nothing there, just high prices, low wages in comparison>There's nothing there, just high prices, low wages in comparison>There's nothing there, just high prices, low wages in comparison>There's nothing there, just high prices, low wages in comparisonread the fucking sentence you quote dimwit
No.2183
>>2182Sorry, i see how my post was confusing.
We are comparing [the comparison of price to wage] in one country to [the comparison of price to wage] in another country.
The double comparison makes it kindof hard to wrap your head around at first.
If you read the map super closely, you'll see that the figures are PPP,
which means they show the amount of money adjusted for the difference in prices.
So you see, in the United States, you can buy more with your earnings than you can in _almost_ any other country.
Of course, you might be a Saudi or a Swede and say,
"yea but actually i was comparing their purchasing power to my own, and i still think it's low."
That's the sole reason why i mentioned the fact that it "depends on what you compare to".
Unless you're comparing the ratio of wage to price in the US to the ratio of wage to price in the UAE or a few other countries,
it isn't accurate to say that it is low.
No.2301
I want self-discipline. After that, everything will probably come. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
To stop being shy for no fucking reason. To travel and to be aware of everything around me and to not let the moments that make up the dull days tick away.
No.2302
emotional comfort
to be able to live independently and freely
