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/feels/ - personal experiences

share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences.

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Help me fix this shit.

Kalyx ######

File: 1519444652437.jpeg (19.8 KB, 500x356, sokkap-aecd6b3e7a00617773….jpeg)


I have had this toxic person in my life for a while now. I know they are bad for me and just cause me grief. I loved them and they took my heart and crushed it and they can still smile knowing this. They used to be my only friend and more than that but now they are the only one who gives me any time of day and even they dont actually give a soykaf about me and are just my "firend" when ever its convenient for them.I cant avoid them because the way life is at the moment I cant get her out of it. I dont know why but I continued to spend time with them even after all the pain they caused me and ignored my attempts to make them understand. Now they are in a relationship and ditched spending time with me for them. I know when they break up they are just going to come back to me to entertain them so they dont have to be lonely and it pisses me off.I hate that im sad. I hate that I feel this way. I hate that I continue to pay this soykafty person anymore mind. I hate that I let them affect how I feel. I hate that Im reacting this way. I hate I want them to still love me and care. It just hurts. I know I need to put on a brave face and just say f them and enjoy that they are less in my life but I just hurt at the moment. I dont know why or what to do anymore.


Alice, you should stay strong. If that person hurts you so much, you need to cut them out of your life, even when they come back.

What they did to you sounds very horrible and I hope you can (or maybe already have) recovered from there.

I would say the solution to your problem is finding new friends, yet I have to be completely honest: I don't really know how to do that either. If it helps you you could find someone to chat and talk with online


Thank you. I know I only stayed because I was used to this and people have always been difficult for me to connect with and the idea that maybe things would go back to the way they were in the very beginning when they made my life better would come back. Of course this was a lie that I told myself to justify all the soykaf they put me through. I dont know if I will make any new friends but I will surely focus on myself and my goals from now on. again, thank you for taking the time to care alice. It means a lot to me.


You're always welcome. I was in a similar situation when I finished school: most of my friends abandoned me or we simply split apart. I had some friends afterwards that would just use me or we would hang out because we didn't had anyone else.

You should focus on your goals but please don't get too lonely and isolated, if you ever need someone to talk (or write with), we can exchange contact info if you would like.

Hope you feel better, Alice


Right, I have a bad habit of isolating myself and having a jaded view of people and making connections that Im making good progress changing for the better. As for contact I think it would be a great idea. with all the stuff thats happened to me recently, I thought of making a group for people like me who struggle to make connections from this site (since its the only place I feel free to speak how I feel)all in one chat server or soemthing and they could come together. anyways, just a thought Ive had. again thanks for understanding dudes


I hate how you wrote the entire post with "them" but put one "her" somewhere. That is all I have to say.

Pathetic non-advice. I appreciate the helpful intent on OP's behalf, but the only reason you could have not discarded that post is because you don't have friends either and hope that in some magical anime-fashion this will become the start of a new friendship or something.

I'm being rude in /feels/ but that's like deleting code.



Set the terms and conditions.
Set the rules.


I'm just about in the same boat right now. I recently had to take my last real "friend" out of the equation. But it's better to start from square one with no friends, than to have toxic people bringing you down. In life you can easily find yourself in hell, and even easier to just sit around and wonder how you got there. I can't really offer any specific advice, I apologize. But I can give you some encouraging cliches I've been thinking to myself lately. And maybe they'll even be applicable.

Finding people that will take the time to really 'get' what you are "all about" is not easy. It's not something you are owed. And if you don't put some effort into yourself, you are never going to be appreciated by anyone. I've spent a lot of time toiling in outright satanic pain, to no avail. Start by setting small goals. Easy, manageable ones; whether they are creative, social, whatever. Don't be a perfectionist, just do SOMETHING. Progress will build upon progress. Also try to live healthy, body and mind. And stick to it. Control the media/ideas that you are taking in daily as much as you can. Strip out the nihilism-inducers, mind-killers, time-wasters, and other net-negatives. Aim to develop yourself into someone that you wish to become, within reason. Don't let life get you down too bad, and don't take any lumps that you don't have to. Keep pushing FORWARD anon, I know you can break out of this prison


You sound so absolutely pathetic it's making me sick. The solution is right in front of you: throw that piece of soykaf "friend" to the trash and do something productive. What do you enjoy doing? Writing? Drawing? Composing? Programming? Kick yourself in the ass and focus on that, cut out all of the bullsoykaf, even if that means you have to be all alone. Hurts for a brief moment but gives you eternal peace.
Oh wait, your "friend" abandoned you? Isn't that great news? wth, you've got some issues…
t. have had multiple toxic people around me over the years and have gotten rid of every single one, spent many years alone and life is pretty ok.


It's really easy to make friends. It's really hard to make good friends.
Throw away trash. Keep trying until you find people worth talking to. It's scary but it's so much better when it works out in the end. People who have similar interests or personalities will naturally end up in the same spaces on the wired or in meatspace. Simply try to talk to people you think may be interesting and you will make new better friends. Hanging onto old friendships when the people clearly don't care about you will only hurt more in the long run, I've been there we all have.
There's also a good chance that you're the toxic person, so have a good look inside yourself and decide if there's anything you think could be improved. Do it for yourself. Be brutally honest, but don't self pity.
Don't think "I'm a terrible person I should just die wah wah wah" think something like "I often try to control people because of my own insecurities, why is that? Is there a more useful way of thinking about this?"


this post hits home, i was in the same spot as you, it was annoying to say the least when that very person was a friend since primary school "roughly 15-17 years" and being treated like a nobody/dog, it got annoying and upsetting pretty quick, i felt like puppet following their every move. At some point i just snapped and did what was right and kick em out my life and focus on what was best for me "my life and my education" i never looked back after that i meet the best people in my life that understand me and i understand then.

best thing i can say is get them out of your life asap, bear in mind its gonna hurt as hell and it has to hurt. Once they are out of your life, you will rarely think about them/ care, then fun part starts, doing what you love e.g. " hobbies and all that". Keep ya head up and do whats right.


if you have low self confidence people will find it easy to take advantage of you.
garner some skills in something and you'll gain confidence in just that alone
then start making friends once you feel more secure in the situation

nobody owes you a thing in life.
you don't owe anyone else anything either
yet i guess you owe yourself to the world somehow
that's your job I think, to figure out how that gets anywhere
I say I think as just reading your comment made me remember that
so yeah I guess you are useful to someone after all

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