/feels/ - personal experiences

There are two issues here I think. First logically I think people are better off alone with no interaction. Sadly the human brain is not really designed for this so you run into problems. I think you need to have some interaction and stuff to keep your brain happy, one of those things about being human. You must eat, you must go to the toilet, you must get enough sleep and you must have some social interactions in order to function correctly. Solitary confinement is a punishment for a reason. I wish I could overcome my need for other humans. I spend most of my time alone and I like it but I long for female contact way too much. It hurts.

It means that you're missing personal experience, and thus an actual understanding of an entire branch of networking protocol. You will not really understand the world you live in. For me, that's a good enough reason to never give up on it.

Building a relationship with someone is worthwhile because of the mutual mental benefits that can be gained. Exchange of commonly shared ideas and intimate details of each other can be mutually helpful in understanding yourself and others. I am a person who does not mind isolation, and I lucked out to have someone pester me until a very close friendship developed. It's not perfect, sometimes I miss my solitude, but the benefits are worth it. So it's worth at least giving some sort of intimate friendship/romantic relationship a try.

I've come to believe that finding truth is a collective activity.
When meaning, at the core, comes from not just myself but from others, I feel compelled to be close with someone.
But sometimes, I need to be alone.

>>117
Romantic relationships never seem to work out for me. The last one I was in started out as a close friendship, and then it became a romantic relationship but there were too many communication issues and it fell apart.

I'll stick to intimate friendships for now.

>>113
If you never get close to someone you will never learn what its like to be truly disappointed at a very personal level.

I had to give up on a friend recently for being a complete psychopath and nearly attacking me while he was drunk, I tried to get rid of him many times before but he somehow snuck back into my life. I'm really worried about developing ties with anyone new, and even the current people I know could just turn heel and ruin our relationship.

Thinking that, I could never imagine myself getting close enough to develop an intimate relationship ever. Imagine falling in love with someone and they change, you'd be the asshole for wanting to get out of it to everyone involved.

I have a similar, if somewhat contrary issue OP. I do not feel very much at all. I do not socialize very much and understand that it is probably abnormal but it does not bother me most of the time. Often life feels like an automated process where I can pass through without introspection or the specter of unpleasant truths. Occasionally I take stock and assess if activities I actually do partake in bring me enjoyment, though I do not feel very much of that either in anything but the most novel of experiences. I have cut down my activities, most pursuits I find to be middling in their payoff - chasing girls feels more rewarding for the hunt than sex itself, which I honestly find pretty lackluster.
If anything, my lack of feeling has me feeling more concerned than any bad feeling caused by an externality.
I came close to a romantic relationship once but it went too much too quickly and it was like a switch was thrown, I went from madly involved to distant and indifferent immediately. I lose interest in all people.

I think the reason I have not sought help is that I prefer this to wanting to not be alone but being incapable of creating a relationship. I dont know how to feel about that.

Yeah, I think it is. I rely a lot on my friends for happiness.

Dont have a lot of luck with girls, my last relationship ended with a lot of arguing, and shouting, but I think theres something in every relationship that is important to me. Wouldnt make it far alone.

Just pick your poison, I guess.

>>260
I feel anon. This happened to me recently with a friend, but they ended up actually attacking me, leaving me with scars and bad memories. But you have to realize that this is the action of the individual, not yourself. And although it may be scary to not have control or to have to deal with something like this, you have to realize that most people are not like this. This can be some sort of situation that motivates you to seek new groups and new types of people, pushing you into a new direction. Embrace this chance for change, and don't let the actions of another limit you from living your life.

>>121
wisdom.

>>121
getting close to someone can also reveal the opposite in my experience. disappointment occurs in all personal relationships, but being pleasantly surprised by discovering similarities, or someone knowingly confiding in you (essentially, the strengthening of trust) can make personal relationships feel very much worth it.

>>120
that's an extremely common anime trope but so rare in reality.

Ive been this way for as long as I can remember. Im 24 now and can distinctly remember at 10 making up my mind that I would escape society at all costs and die alone somewhere in the wilderness. No matter how hard I try I simply cannot invision myself growing old with someone. Its not like I've always been alone though, I actually make friends easily, but there is always a point that gets crossed where they get too close and every bone in my body screams at me to get out. and I have a few times, just packed up everything without telling anyone and left. society is vicious, it doesn't like outliers. you dont see it till you try. I left home at 22 with nothing but my bicycle, some camping equipment and some money I had saved up. I made it from NC all the way to California. I was free for 6 months of my existence and it was the happiest time of my life. however the money eventually ran out and had to make a choice. not a day goes by that I dont question my decision, but I have a career now and have lost all contact with that restless me that wanted freedom at all cost. Everyday I feel consumerism eating away at my true self, and I feel its only a matter of time before my wants are all thats left of me.

>>282
what was your childhood like?

>>282
I know what this is like, except for the part of where I make friends quickly. Its more of that I'm too open with people as long as they give me basic friendship and attention. After being basic friends with someone I usually get stressed out from it and I do exactly as you wrote. I just remove myself from them. Disappear completely from their life.
But then I look again for people similar to me, only to go through the process once again.

>>117
>So it's worth at least giving some sort of intimate friendship/romantic relationship a try.
implying I could just choose to find someone good enough to be worth spending that much time with. It's pretty hard desu senpai; have you been outside recently?

I generally believe that relationships with people can enrich one's perception of the world, and talking about just about anything with someone you know well can be a great mechanism for questioning assumptions and adding some external influence on where a train of thought will lead, among other things.
In university, I completely struck out on finding people with an open mind and willingness to talk about things outside of narrowly defined topics (usually music, interpersonal stuff, or specific hobbies. many people seem to have zero intellectual curiosity outside of one to a few of those things.), and feeling like a person is averse to exploring different aspects of the world prevents me from being very interested in interacting with them, and prevents a feeling of closeness from developing. So historically, my close relationships have been mostly online and with a small group of people from my high school class. Now, years of failure, depression, and isolation have left me completely alone. As a NEET, you don't even get to give people a shot anymore, and IRC is too dead these days to just walk into a new community and make some internet friends without much effort. The only people I interact with regularly are my mother and younger brother.
Anyway, despite the wrong expectations and patterns that society puts in place for interactions, there is a lot that can be worthwhile about close relationships with people. I hope to rediscover it one of these days.

>>554
You should get off your arse and meet people outside of uni then.

There are entire cities built around or near them.

>>562
Thanks for the encouragement but I no longer live anywhere near a university.

>>567
That's an excuse.

>>554

What kind of things do you want people to talk to you about?

>>113
People and intimate relationships are very important, we are wired to be social creatures. But the place where I think most people that post here trip up is that they need to love themselves first before they can really let anyone in.
And I think that is what's happening with you, you're learning to be okay with yourself as a person, even if that is alone. The great irony is that you need to be ready to be alone before you can truly connect with others.