/feels/ - personal experiences

og volcel

lmao

>>1109
People crave living for something other than constant self-pleasure. No one wants to be the robot that just keeps pressing the big red button of pleasure for all eternity.

They want a family that will visit them when they're wasting away in hospice care. I know I want that - don't you. Some day your eyes and ears will fail you and sitting around indulging in games and media will cease to be an option. When you're at the age where your only satisfaction would be family, what will you do if you don't even have that?

People are right to fret about it. They're just wrong to obsess about it and ascribe it ultimate meaning it life. But it's better than living for nothing but the next indulgence to pleasure yourself with.

>>1113

> the next indulgence to pleasure yourself with.

and how does a relationship stop this drive? I'm pretty okay with dying by myself tbh (also I'm gay and don't want kids so the family point is extra moot), the entire thing is about your own self-improvement and feeling strong alone. You know people can't complete or fix your problems only you … that kind of thing.

Not to mention millions of people are voluntary celibate and live rich lives.

>>1113
>People crave living for something other than constant self-pleasure.
Yeah true

>No one wants to be the robot that just keeps pressing the big red button of pleasure for all eternity.
Yeah you're right

>They want a family that will visit them when they're wasting away in hospice care.
bruh

First of all, you're projecting your black/white skewed way of looking at things way too hard, there is much more to life than watching the latest episode of whatever's cool right now, and raising a family. Some anecdotal evidence, I do not wish to receive pity visits like my grandmother did, and she put a lot of effort into creating a good family, she sat there for a year, alzheimered to soykaf, thinking every visit was the first, and then the daily visit turns weekly, monthly, and eventually she died. Ironically only my mother, who's not even blood related to her kept visiting her almost weekly, but I'm confident she just hates the idea of being stuck in the same situation. Second, pressing the pleasure button is basically making a family, it's wired into your brain that you need to procreate, and family is the socially acceptable way. Media if treated this way, can only be an imitation. People online shout 3DPD and that 2D is pure, but that's a result of the average social factory production line companion quality becoming subpar. I am one of those people too. I guess the female sex would have a similar counter movement if they were socially expected of more, they do obviously have this to some extent but evidently it's less prominent. I'd argue that connecting with people and birthing new ones so you won't feel like soykaf when you're weak and old is more pathetic than wasting your life on media.

I wish you luck trying to create a family if that's what you wish, but people are pieces of soykaf, statistics are against you, and eventually people will stop visiting you.

>>1115
It was meant to be a bit hyperbolic, obviously it's not that simple. I was just explaining the drive that people have to bear children or even before that, finding someone to love in the first place. I wasn't saying wanting a weekly visit to your crippled future self was the only reason to have a family, just that it's one of the many stark reminders that there is value in doing so

>>1116

then you should understand there's value in not wanting that either. you do you etc.

She says our relationship is "romantic".
not sure what that means.

>>1118
It means she unfortunately sees more in you than you apparently see in her.

>>1109
>Volcel
I stated that in a post on another imageboard before, someone replied that's what "celibate" means anyway.

Gotta save myself for marriage desu, can't marry a virgin if you're not one, around here. Gotta raise a family too.

>>1113
>People are right to fret about it. They're just wrong to obsess about it and ascribe it ultimate meaning it life. But it's better than living for nothing but the next indulgence to pleasure yourself with.
This a hundred times in its most abstract form. People always try to simplify their model to a point where everything is just <chemicals in the brain; evil corporations' spectacle attack; a question of money; a simulation; …>
What they usually fail to grasp is that all of these "one and only things" that move and make up all the others are simultaneously true (whether understood or not).
Yes love is just chemicals in your brain, but yes chemicals in your brain are also love. Yes that new popular song is just hollow entertainment produced by corporations to exploit patterns in the human brain for profit, but it's also an artist being able to create something good through the pressure and regulation and censorship of those corporations.
Thing A is just thing B? Yes.
Therefore, thing A is meaningless/doesn't exist/blah blah… No.
Thing A is still thing A, we just found how it is related to thing B, and how thing B is related to thing A.

Going back to the topic of the thread and the stuff I quoted, relationships and family are neither necessary, nor sufficient conditions of anything. Stop trying to have a correct attitude, instead have a systematic one with blanks for improvement.

Haven't really had a relationship since high school, which is a number of years ago.
I wouldn't really call myself into dudes so much, but my first relationship with with a MtF.
We never really saw each other since I don't live in the city.
We broke up because she felt like handling a relationship was a bit too much given her situation, which I pretty much just respect since that soykaf fucks you up.

Other than that I've just dirty talked a few anons I met on forums/4chan over steam to feel some self-worth. Pretty much all just guys with a feminine charm I suppose. Been a long time since something like that's happened though. I'm not really one that can really hold even a friendly relationship for some time. Everyone just drops off my radar over time.

I haven't really bothered to find a serious relationship, I just sort of exist infront of computer screen every day

>>1115
> alzheimered
the point is that an alzheimered grandma is perfectly ok, but people in charge of her are fucked
> I am one of those people too
may be the problem is that you can't find a proper partner because, among other reasons, of your social skills and status
> I'd argue that connecting with people and birthing new ones so you won't feel like soykaf when you're weak and old is more pathetic than wasting your life on media
the first is quite awful motivation, emerging generally unhappy families. and the second is pathetic

The only true reason to create a family is chthonic desire to care of someone

>>1142
Did you try to make some kind of argument there? I don't see it.

>may be the problem is that you can't find a proper partner because, among other reasons, of your social skills and status
>Can't find
I'm by no means desirable, or at least hopefully appear not to be and I haven't actively tried looking for a partner in 5+ years. You can analyze me all you want, that won't change my mind. The risks and resources that go into relationships don't look worth it, and I've yet to meet a relationship beyond early stages that I wanted to mimic.

Get a dog if you want to care for something.

I see the value in family and relationships and such, and am pretty sure that people who find it undesirable on a risk+cots vs benefit basis simply never had an actual family or relationship. They might have had family members or partners, but that was only a case of the right label on the wrong thing. Being related by blood and living together in a household, or mutually declaring a relationship doesn't mean it's an actual working family or relationship.

With that said, I see a 2x2 scenario.
>1-1: Want family and relationship AND profession and free life
This kind of person usually ends grinded up, confused, loses either or both, or rarely becomes the success story.
>1-0 Family Guy
You take care of mom, help your little sister go through uni, and work 12 hours a day on minimum wage. You "grow up" from your dreams for others, have kids, and hopefully have no huge fall outs that makes people leave you - if they do, you're a poor miserable person.
>0-1 Night's Wotch
Military. Lab coat. Oil rig. You live at your workplace, your life is your workplace, you build the christmas tree in the office, or marvel at the one your murdered target built. You finish the job, and you've got enough cash to afford getting drunk on expensive soykaf every weekend to keep the loneliness away or take quarter years "find yourself" trips. Ideally you work in a team and your feelings remain feelings, not value. Glorious.
> 0-0 NEET
You're <insert inherent quality, reason, personal philosophy, something that happened 15 years ago here> so you're not trying or not interested in either fam/friends or a profession or a life. This leaves you with immense free brain cycles that you can spend on surfing imageboards, posting memes, feeling how hard you're missing out on perceived good things, and wondering about how family, relationships, a profession or a life feels like.

One of my points are, as stated above, no amount of wondering will net you the _experience_ of these things.
The other one is that I'm seriously considering to pick 0-1 instead of 1-1 to have more time, and because making feelings remain feels is glorious.

>>1143
> Did you try to make some kind of argument there? I don't see it.
just assert that you choose crap instead of soykaf

>>1145
Fair enough, you're alright anime poster.

>>1144
>Can't have it all
Sure you can, work smarter not harder, in both professional and personal life. It makes sense to think many aspects in life are zero sum but they really aren't.

>>1147
As I already pointed out
>or rarely becomes the success story.
Rarely is a key word here, because no amount of "be smart" kind of self-help try your best bullsoykaf will make you lucky, and without luck you won't get both professional career and life and family and relationships straight.
Some people might claim that is not true (especially ones who got lucky), but I would really like to see how they fare with one less parent (unless orphan), in a country where they can't finish college or get rid of their debt, without not meeting their best 3 friends overall, without meeting anyone like any of their 1+ year long relationships, getting lung cancer at 23, living in a war zone for a few years, etc.

They are lucky not to have that, and no amount of trying hard and being smart changes that.

>>1148
>every successful individual is just lucky
?

Technically you're right, even our next breath is a dice roll, but there's a thing called agency. But I get it, you're sour. Whatever.

>>1149
Enjoy being sour and wrong at the same time I guess? Some movements would have a better use of you though.

Ha! Stop kidding yourself. The sperglordness and social anxiety you have doesn't justify generalizing about "relationships", which you doubtfully have had. Wanna be voluntarily celibate? Go cut off your johnson and be like admiral Zheng He. Meanwhile, this sort of soykafty posts are just attentionwhoring with an undying hope that the love of your life will answer and you will live happily ever after. FFS, why is this even a thing on a chan like this? Aren't we all into more interesting stuff around here?

>>1109
>One partner is always miserable
Never speak in absolutes. There are plenty of relationships in which both people are content.

>know the media forces the idea that you can only be a bitter old fag/spinster/neckbeard if you are by yourself
The media doesn't "force" this. Think back to the last time you saw the "married man meets up with single friend for the first time in 10 years and the single man is way happier and doing fun soykaf all the time" trope. There's plenty of examples of single, older people in the media who are happy and not pathetic.

>>1113
>They want a family that will visit them when they're wasting away in hospice care.
The bulk of this post is just saying that people want families because people need someone to visit them when they're dying. I think you're overlooking the fact that your friends will visit you when you're dying, as well. You don't need a wife or children to have company in your last moments.

>>1153
>only a sith deals in absolutes

> doing fun soykaf all the time
(hint the single guy gets lots of tail or they are miserable trope)

>>1152
>Meanwhile, this sort of soykafty posts are just attentionwhoring with an undying hope that the love of your life will answer and you will live happily ever after.
projecting

>Aren't we all into more interesting stuff around here?
Then why are you giving this more attention?

>>1153
>There's plenty of examples of single, older people in the media who are happy and not pathetic.
Like who? Superheroes? Fantasy. You'll find more broken divorced men than married or single men in media, conditioning the masses.

I'd try relationships but you're not exactly giving me reasons to want to. It looks like a waste of resources and time, all to suffice some kind of primitive desire, that succumbing to feels like an exploitable weakness.

im a sex repulsed asexual but i suppose i have a "relationship" in that i share a close bond with another human.

would recommend it.

I think the entire idea is trash and really comes down to the lack of motivation towards actually finding yourself a relationship, but opinions aside, as long as you're not a 'nice guy' TM, who cares?

Y-yea psssh who needs sexual activity anyways haha.

>>1109
100% agreed!